aright see. i tihnk i have been doing good, but that happens to be a lie. latley i have been using a razor. yea ussuyally it was something not sharp so it hurt worse but now... i am using a razor. am i just crazy or something? people aronud here dont even like me. i mean they tease me about the dumbest things and it pisses me off so much. people ignore me. i dont even know what to do anymore. i dont even know who i AM anymore. can't you guys help me. please?

First, I just want to say that those of you who have read this and did not respond need to check your humanitarium status.

I'll tell you what, the only false comforts that i can offer you is that, believe it or not, it will pass. I know that it is like to go through what you are feeling. When I was 17, I went through this type of hell... I used to bleed myself too. It is like the blood is al your pain leaving your body.

I will tell you, though, that it is the worst thing you can do to yourself. It scars and you are permenantley left with reminders of your hardest times. Sensce you are 16, i thought that your school would have a councelor or someone who could help you out?

I have had a lot on my plate before and I know how it feels, and there is a number that I call from time to time to find my sanity. [glow=blue,2,300]1800-434-8973[/glow]

It sounds textbok, but it really helps me out. If you need to talk about this more, I know that me as well as a few others on this forum have found comfort in razor's edge... just keep posting and we will respond!

From my heart...
~Selina~

I am sorry you are feeling so badly about things, and I am even more sorryt hat you are turing to a razor to release the pain you have inside.

I have been a cutter since I am 14, and I have to agree with Selina that the scars ars forever. I wish I knew then that I would be here today, 27 years old with so many scars...I dont know if that would have stopped me, but I feel you should know that they are FOREVER!!!

What can I do to help you feel better? You can post here or in any forum or send me a private message. I want to hear about what is happening in your life right now, why you are so sad...

Please keep writing, ok? I care, Selina cares, and many others do as well.

Love,
Dara

dont worry you dont sound text book lol.. no i just feel like thats the only thing i can do and when i cant cut deep enuf i totally feel like such a freak and i feel so wussy like i cant even off myself right damn ya know? i mean i like the scars actually, they help m remeber i will be nothing and know that for sure bcuz i dont be anything. o one at this dman skool like me and the counsler?! ha she told me iw as faking to skip PE i would die in hell before i talked to HER about stuff. this skool sent me home once bcuz i w3as crying and it would look bad for the skool bcuz we had people there that day. when i got home i got in trouble for skipping class so i could go in the bathroom and cry and try not to kioll myself? yea thas wat happened bull shit and i told my mother so but since she doesnt belive me andim so damn ugly i dont see why i shouldnt DIE anyhow.

I understand about not being able to cut deep enough. It will NEVER be deep enough...almost like the eating disorder I suffer with , there is NEVER thin enough, and with cutting there is never deep enough. I ALWASY feel like a failure after I cut, like I am such a loser becasue I didnt cut enough...so I know how you feel.

Life is hard, do what you have to do to make it through the day is my advice. I have been there WAY too many times to tell you antyhing else.

Just know tthat you are cared about here. Please write again!
Love,
Dara

Here is my theory

Things are at their worst.. i mean.. life sucks, so why even continue it? Why put yourself trough the unforgiving pain of taking anouther breath, right?

Ok, so if things are that bad, you have to think... things can ONLY get better.

I understand exactly how you feel. I had to get my stomache pumped because I tried to off myself. Iknow it seems like things would be simpler if you could just sleep...

But, you really have to think about how the people around you would feel. Your mom may not be the most forgiving of comforts, but she is still your mother and it would devestate her if her baby girl made any drastic moves...

I don't want to lecture you, and you can't really take me seriously unless you hang on for yourself. There are so many wonderous things to get out of life. I am still TRYING to find that out myself, but I am. I can't tell you how to feel or act... but you KNOW you don't want to cut deeper because you came here for help.

Find that one thing that helps you to deal. I have found that my poetry really helped me out and helped me to deal with my tramaus. Unfortunatley, I latched onto an ED.. equally uhealthy... but i am not advising that outlet at all.

I have poems pertaining to this little subject. If you would like for me to send you a few, just email me (it's in my profile). They are shoirt and to the point... plus, perhaps you can relate.

We are here for you and we love you!

Blessed be!!

xoxo
Selina

Unfortunately when you are so depressed that you want to die, you are not able to realize that things will get better. I have been there too, and no mater WHAT anyone said to convince me that thngs would get better, I was STILL depressed!

For me, the thing that helped the most was understanding and unconditional love...and Zoloft to lift the depression but that is another story..lol

Love,
Dara

hate to say it but i do that to not like anyone cares about me but y do u u seem to be doing fine here???

i guess im crazyer then i thought

No i care that you do that, i do, and i geuss on here ya im "doing fine" but if you could see me and where i went to school, do you know how horrible it is here? I get made fun of every fuckin day and there aint a damn thing i can do about it. its the way i look, they way i am, and if it aint that its bcuz "im a slut" even tho i have NEVER had sex and think that its bull sh*t bcuz i hate it here. i wish i could leave and never come back. i have a bottle of pills in my locker right now just waiting, if i get mad enuf, or stressed, which i am getting so damn close, i'll take em. please dont think that im like trying to get attention bcuz i am so not just trying to do that but alot of poeple tihnk that i am and so i just wanted you guys ot know that that is not the reason. i mean honestly. i am so fuckin ugly that i will never get a boyfriend, and i am so fuckin stupid i am failing myclasses, oh and my mom tihnks im doing it on purpose. i would rather give people the empression i dont give a sh*t that the empression im dumb. sorry i just wanted to see what that looked like. but yea. i do care about you and iw ant to help you to bcuz hen i do that i dont have to think about my own problems. ya know?
Roze

[FONT=Geneva][SIZE=7][COLOR=purple]ok i know i already wrote sh*t, but damnit i didnt even say what i wanted to say i am so confused about everything i mean i get so stressed out in math i feel like im just going to freak out, and if i did that do you know how much i would be laughed at? like serioulsy, i mean i would just get like made fun of so much. i hate it. i cant do that crap and no one in the class knows how and i mean damnit! im so argh! i cant handle all this crap thats going on in my "life" but everyone seems to tihnk i dont have a problem. well F**K them F**K them.

Im pearcing my tonuge, that the only good tihng in my life right now, only im not suyposed to do it, so i am having my friend do it for me. in a couple weeks, im going to get high first.

you sound so much like me!! i feel like that every F**KING day of my life. never pills though i have a prob with them
im ganna get my stomach perced cuzz i feel like it worlsd KISS MY a*s!
anyways



i'd talk about geting high but enough of a freak everywere else i go

F**K them all I say. Am I allowed to say that? I,m sure you wouldn't complain though right? I gotta say drugs help alot at first, but when you came off of them life sucks all the more. I still do them mind you but, I'm, just digging a deeper hole to fall into. If I were you I couldn't tell you what to do. I'm 16 and understand the way sh*t works at schools. That's the way it works when you get out of school too unless you change your karma, sucks huh? I am really not any help am I? But the world is only as beautiful as you make it. I am not i'n school anymore because I just don't belong in this fuckin bull sh*t sosioty. Well, I think to myself, at least it wont always be this bad. That is my only comfort, it helps little when times are hard but at least it helps a little. Don't worry about getting a boyfriend because there are people in this world who love people unconditionally. Wow! I'm really not much of a help. Oh well I tried.

Good luck, if you kill yourself you'll never see the true beauty that lies within every indevidual.

I am really not one to talk. I just posted something here too. Although my conditions are not as extreme as yours, maybe they are, I don't know. I can't even help myself let alone others. Either way, hold on, and don't listen to those BASTARD MOTHER FUCKER sh*t HOLES, IF YOU DO YOU'LL JUST BECOME ALL OF THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY THAT THIER FEEDING YOU BECAUSE THEY HAVE PROBLEMS OF THIER OWN I GARUNTEE IT.

Life is but a dream
Life is but a dream
Life is but a dream

thanx, really but looking on the bright side, dont help me, cuz i dont have a britgher side