I didn't know.
I didn't know who he was.
I didn't know what he did.
I didn't know.
I didn't mean to.
I wouldn't have, if i'd known.
He's a pedaphile.
I hate him.
So much.
And he played me.
He molested his kids.
He's married to one of my aunts.
I didn't know.
But he played me.
He said he wanted a relationship.
He said he really liked me.
But he didn't.
He screwed me.
He fucked me.
Then he left me.
He played me.
Me.
Full of cynicism.
Me.
Braced for lies.
Me.
And I fell for it.
"Hook Line and Sinker."
I cried coz' someone 'loved' me.
I felt warm inside.
I bared my heart.
He played me.
He's my daughter's father.
A pedaphile.
He's my daughter's father.
And I hate him.
So much.
He's crazy.
I finally got him out of my life.
No more phone calls.
No more saying we're a 'faimly'.
No more of his shit.
I finally got him out of my life.
And now he's back.
He's back to stay.
But not with me.
Not with my daughter.
Never.
Ever.
Never.
He won't touch her.
He won't see her.
Regardless of what the court say.
No custody.
Ever.
He's a pedaphile.
He molested his children.
I ranted about his horrible behavior.
To my aunt, when I heard.
And then he fucked me.
And I liked it.
He touched me.
With the same hands.
That he touched his kids with.
He touched me.
I let him.
I liked it.
His hands carressing my body.
Holding my head.
So it didn't smack the floor.
Those same hands.
Doing the same thing.
To his own children.
And I let him.
I'm sickened.
Disgusted.
Lost.
Alone.
He played me.
And I let him.
I convinced myself.
To want him.
Coz' who else would want me.
No-one.
No-one but a pedaphile.
A disgusting, using pedaphile.
And he didn't even want me.
He fucked me.
And he left me.
He came back.
But I laughed.
I laughed in his face.
I told him I didn't feel a thing.
I lied.
I hurt.
I'm dying inside.
Slowly.
Breaking.
Crumbling away.
It wasn't him.
It was everyone.
Every guy who hurt me.
But he magnafied it.
He is killing me.
But he doesn't care.
So I dont care.
I say.
I say i'm fine.
I'll deal with it.
But I won't.
Becasue I liked it.
I liked the feel of him.
Of him in my body.
Of him touching me.
Of his hands stroking my flesh.
And wrapping aroud my heart.
My heart.
My heart that is 'whole.'
My heart that is 'unbreakable.'
Becuase i'm so 'strong.'
But i'm not.
I can't do this.
I can't.
It's too much.
Too hard.
Too fast.
And I'm alone.
Again.
Like always.
Forever.
Alone.
Disgusted.
Horrified.
Guilty.
With no-one.
No-one to to hold me.
No-one to love me.
No-one to help me.
Help me understand.
Help me forget.
Help me heal.
No-one.
Again.
Always.
Alone.
Forever.
He played me.
He fucked me.
He left me.
He lied.
And I didn't know.

Ouch, I really feel your pain is red hot at the moment. Just remember that whatever boiling emotions you feel now, they will subside over time. My heart goes out to you and every victim of this guy. Be strong!