Lately my life is not going good. I have about 1 true friend and no girlfriend and I just found out that half the parents of my other "friends" all think I'm gay or they just don't like me. Another thing is that I'm not gay and that just doesn't sit well with me that they think i'm gay. So I tried countering this by flirting with girls and for my efforts I got "You're just asking out girls that are out of you're league so you don't look gay." So right now I can't find a girl that I like that likes me back and a lot of girls don't find me attractive (i'm fat) so it makes it hard. Also I was just told that I dress like a gay guy and this is not really my fault, I'm not a big clothes shopper so usually I just take what my mom gives me and I don't really know what is good clothe sense I never really followed trends. Thanx for future help.

(I mean no offense to gay people I don't mind them at all)

mm, Okay, lets start with the basics, first you shouldnt let any rumors get to you because that is all they ever are, lies. If you give these rumors to much attention you will only be hurting yourself from needless stress. There will always be someone who says something about you that isnt true, how you handle it and react to it will help define how you approach your problems in life.

There are many approaches to fixing this problem, first of all, if people have a problem with the way you dress you can either, dont give them the time of day, change their views on how you dress or change the way you dress. Personally I would change their view, but that usually requires a certain expertise the average joe is lacking in. I will say that you should pick your own clothes, it will allow you to have a better control of your life and allow you to select a style that better reflects you.

The best way to fix your problem with people assuming your gay is to find out what single people do who are not considered gay. In other words, there has to be more than one single guy in your school, find out the diffrence between you and the guy who isnt considered gay but is in the same situation. Once you figure out the diffrence you will be able to fix it.

This is not the end all or be all, personally I just prefer to use various propaganda techniques and whatnot against the asshole who is spreading lies about me. Of course this route is not for everyone, however I will say that this way is better than resorting to physical violence. Teen sociology is a funny thing, people will always find something wrong with you or something to make fun of, one week it will be that your gay, the next it could be that your a suck up, who knows what they will come up with. In my past experience from highschool, I started at the bottom, rose to the very top, was toppeled and then became surrounded by some almost legendary tales. Personally I found that if you learn about how the social structure in your school works, learn to use it to your advantage, you can easily overcome these kind of situations. Normally people give you self help advice and how to make yourself feel better, but I say why not get rid of the problem all together?

Hang in there, Vega. I don't know how old you are, but I sense that you're still fairly young. This is good, because it means that you have your whole life ahead of you for doing just about anything you want. If I were a young man such as yourself, I'd forget about trying to please girls and instead focus on taking care of myself. If you are able to join a gym, this would be a great way to get in shape and to feel good about yourself along the way. I've always been amazed and envious of how quickly guys can get into shape compared with women. If you could start lifting weights every other day and doing aerobic activity (walking, running, biking) on alternate days, you'd lose that excess fat while gaining muscles in no time. If you can't join a gym, then walk/run and do push-ups and sit-ups. Also--Give up all the junk food and focus on healthy eating.

As for clothes, go to a local mall and observe what teens and young adults are wearing and buying at trendy shops such as American Eagle, Aeropostale, Abercrombie and Fitch, the Gap, etc. No, you don't have to spend big money in these stores, but just observe the styles that young people are interested in. Notice other details (hairstyles, shoes, hats, etc.) You can also go online to see the clothing lines at these stores. Wait for sales or go to Penneys or wherever you shop to purchase similar clothes. You don't have to spend a fortune, just get a few items that are in style and that you feel comfortable wearing.

Ditch the girls or other "friends" who are calling you gay. In the meantime, try to come up with a good comeback: "No, I'm not gay, but maybe you're trying to project own homosexual inclinations onto me."

Beyond that, you could find an interest or hobby that you enjoy, or take classes to further your education. You'll find girls at the gym, girls at school, girls everywhere, but forget about them! Girls are fascinated with guys with lifestyles that function quite well without the requirement of girlfriends. (I know these things, because I am one.)

Good luck--I just know things are going to get better for you!

*On the subject of loosing weight*

Erm, I have never been fat, nor do I intend to get fat, however this is what I have found. I used to work out a lot, I had the treadmill going at the fastest possible speed. I can still outlift most guys 2x my size, in fact I became very fit and very strong. However I didnt loose a pound of weight or get that rockhard washboard abs that I wanted. I changed my diet and whatnot and still no results, why? well I did some research and found that a lot of fat can be a result of stress rather than physical habits. I worked my ass off and increased my muscle mass but didnt loose that thin layer of fat that makes the diffrence between a tight belly and rock hard abs (I had the muscles they just werent visible)

Anyways, I stopped working out and got onto other things, im actually more fit now than I was when I worked out (I walk just about everywhere and I do martial arts). I also tried the sauna thing and went in their when I was working out, that also didnt work, saunas get rid of water and very little fat, trust me its not worth the time for the small results. My best advice is look into the science behind fat, after a lot of mental training I can pretty much control various aspects of my body, including fat production. The biggest change you can ever do towards stop being fat is to stop thinking that you are fat.

It has been proven so many damn times I dont even want to think about it, most of the time, those who think they will do something or that they are a certain way, do those things or become that way. In other words, those who think they are fat will produce more fat, those who think they are stupid will do worse on tests. In my own opinion any sort of physical well being has to start internal rather than external. Look up some scientific books on fat, best to check a public or university library dont even bother with the regular crap that gets rolled off the production line, go straight to the experts (Doctors and Scientists most likely Biologists).

thanks for all the advice and on the fat subject i started to work out and do crunches and the like but it didn't work so i'll do those things and have a better mental aspect of myself. Thanx!

the only problem i might have with the clothes thing is that my mom's stingy when getting clothes and I dont have a penny to my name so I guess I'll do other odd jobs. Thanx again!!!