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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 2551 thru 2575 of 2809 Poems

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Mar 29, 2005, 6:14 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1326:
Living and Forgiving

Everything is resolving
The nightmare past the earth
Rotating and revolving
I went to pieces now
I come to peace somehow
I see this life is worth
Living and forgiving after all

They can cheat me but cannot beat me
I have survived a very hard fall
Some betrayed me but some repayed me
For my love with true love of their own
I know now and I am better known
That which is good is better understood
Rejected but free I am not alone

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV







Mar 29, 2005, 4:50 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1325:
New Songs

Here in this thick darkness word has reached me that
Out there in the sunshine people care for me
Hanging upside down like a cave-dwelling bat
What goes on outside is hard for me to see

Life goes on or so they say live for today
Yesterday is lost tomorrow may not come
Reality sounds good to me anyway
I have had more than enough of fantasy
If anyone will share real love I want some

I am not bad-looking if no longer young
My curiosity inspires me always
To find such new songs as have not yet been sung
I would like to do new wonders all my days
My life ever new to sing new songs for you

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV







Mar 29, 2005, 3:58 am


Easter Epiphany: Now Only Now

The greatest poem is silence so the Spirit said
Work it out scream and shout then retire renounce desire
And still instead of stir the violence of the dread
But also the lure of death within your very breath

And what is real? Is what I feel reality then?
It may have been reality then but is not now
You are so determined to have an answer somehow!
Stop and be content within the question in the fire

For the only way for you to mend is to transcend
As you transcend so you ascend and those who offend
Will destroy each other in sterile stupidity
Consume one another by their crass cupidity

Now you will laugh last and you will laugh best
The past is the lie now you passed the test
Now only now and never mind the rest

+Steven Curtis Lance


Copyright MMV







Mar 29, 2005, 2:58 am


Real

Once blind with folly now I see
That criminals in foreign lands
Who would destroy me utterly
And preyed upon my innocence
Can never take myself from me
Though bloodied by their brutal hands
My faith in God is my defense
Survival is my victory

The sun is going to shine again
Along with spring I came through the rain
I am going to be fine again
Refined by fire purified by pain
The life God gave me is mine again
I still live and what is mine retain
Nor cast my pearls before swine again
They destroy themselves yet I remain

My love turns into hate and hardens into steel
From now on I will only feel that which is real

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV







Mar 29, 2005, 12:19 am


Now

So many poems are passing me by
Standing silent and hopeless watching an
Endless parade of ideas which die
As they melt like snowflakes before I can
Gather myself to touch them to taste them
To grasp them grieving I watch and waste them

Four books and all of them filled with the name
Of one who betrayed me for another
How can I endure and live down the shame
Of criminals laughing with each other
About what a stupid old fool I was?

Yet I have to get through this now because
If this is the end of me then their game
Will be made perfect all at the expense
Of my good name lost with myself to blame
Transcendence now my only recompense

I have certainly found who my friends were
And found I had but precious few in fact
My calls for help ignored by him by her
Only the bitter truth remains intact
That which I once was lies in ruins now
My only hope is transcendence somehow

No longer having one for whom to write
I feel no reason to write poetry
Since the brief day of my love turned to night
It no longer matters nor can I see
My star has fallen I have lost the light
I am my own and only company
And yet that love which seemed to burn so bright
Was only a lie and a joke on me

So nothing has changed I am still alone
Just that my aloneness was once unknown
At least to me but now I see no need
For poetry without someone to read
But since my beautiful muse was a lie
Perhaps in my aloneness I should try
To wrestle with reality this way

This might well be the only way to say
What is left here in the burned-out rubble
Of me the pay of life for my trouble
Still I wonder if there is enough left
Of me to glean here in this field bereft
Of hope to harvest among the stubble
Cut by the sharp scythe of reality

I hope to write because I hope to see
Who knows? I might even write better now
Disentangled from the lie somehow
I might more clearly see what is to be
What ultimately will become of me
And of you and of all the rest of us
Behind the worst before the best of us

I made it out alive though I feel dead
Survived the most monstrous madness somehow
I resolve therefore to live in the now
To never look back nor even ahead
I will write new poems for you instead
Of the one who will no longer allow
Herself to love me if ever indeed
She did who at the end refused to read

I will and I must emerge from this night
From then to now with myself and some friends
In now I will trust and now I will write
New poems now because now never ends

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV







Mar 29, 2005, 12:16 am


Fallen Star

Back from that unknown I called love
To this known of being alone
Back to what I have known above
All else since all else was a dream
And I was alone all along
Seems things are never what they seem
To be to me reality
Is an elusive quality

The one I sang of never was
How ridiculous a love song
Or if she was she was because
I wished and dreamed and hoped that she
Might be but I see I was wrong

Too old too poor too far away
She just got tired of me one day
Rejecting me electing he
Who purchased her propinquity

Destined for ashes without graves
And doomed as I am just the same
They bought no freedom they are slaves
But she is his that is if she
Is at all whatever her name

Back from that unknown I called love
I have never been this alone
As dream turns nightmare push to shove
And soft sweet flesh to hard sour stone
As cornered now the mind gives way
Yet stings with folly sharp and stark
Nothing but sorry left to say
As stars fall and the world grows dark

A tattoo has been born again
Which once marked my not being free
Even as one once loved once slain
Transformed in its symbology
The star is fallen from the sky

A trail of fire rains in its wake
Where once it bore her name so high
Forsaken now thus I forsake
As she lies in the arms of he
Who kept his word that he would take
The one I dreamed I loved from me

She broke my heart and thus I break
The spell the hold of hell which she
Held me within her web of lies
As falls the star so would I be
Deceived no longer as I rise

Now ripen fruits of bitterness
Ever more bitter never less
When will this rock to gold refine
This vinegar ferment to wine?

I hate but will I hate them still
As spring warms sink beneath the chill
Of lost love never found again
Or is there yet an end of pain
If only by the trembling hand
Of one who failed to understand
That life is not fair after all
After the fall after the fall?

Calling on the phone alone
Holding only a phone
No one wants propinquity
To madness nor to me

Only answering machines

I understand now what this means
In darkness here I sense the fear
Of those who were once near and dear
As they all back away from me
And as I feel myself alone
On the lonely end of the phone

How empty now to realize
They wish that I would go away
Behind civility's disguise
I wish I had their strength today

Their machines are chirping hello
I am calling to say goodbye
But I am the last to know
To face the lie and die

So life was not fair after all
What does my life mean? It means
I face the lie and die
Fallen so far my fallen star
Chirping answering machines
After all chirp after the fall
Hello! Hello! Goodbye
My fallen star fallen so far!

What does my life mean after all
After the fall after the fall?

+Steven Curtis Lance


Copyright MMV







Mar 29, 2005, 12:12 am


Easter Vigil

Through a time of testing and of trial
When madness had become my daily bread
Drama on her part on mine denial
The dead alive the living nearly dead
From bad to worse there must have been a curse
Deliver me from the idolatry
Of she would control me utterly

The creature displaced the creator to
Become my god my Lord instead of you
And so I fell to false idolatry
But my idol proved unworthy of me
Offending divine sensibility

As dawns your rising day I ask you Lord
Forgive and may you only be adored
The impostor was not even a real
Person as I am with a heart to feel
But only a conspiracy of lies

Lord Jesus rise in me too as you rise

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 17, 2005, 3:53 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1324:
Heavy Metal Thunder

My '65 Chrysler is being repaired
I know she will make it I'm not even scared
I felt like I left her in good hands down there
When I looked back over my shoulder and saw
This morning at the Quality Auto Care
Them diving with wonder into her great maw
Where that enormous 383 V8
Has roared and wrestled with forty years of fate

She will rise to roar and wrestle forty more
I may not be fancy and I might be poor
But I have the only car I would ever
Want and she is a part of my family
Has been these forty years and I could never
Bear to hear her roar for anyone but me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 17, 2005, 12:05 am


Hosed

I got hosed by a crazy girl
Doo-dah doo-dah
Took me for an Internet whirl
Oh doo-dah day

I rode that insane carousel
Until my nerves were shot to hell
Oh double doo-dah doo-dah day
Always in trouble anyway
No matter what I said nor did

But I searched and finally found the lid
Of Pandora's box and screwed it back on
Now all my troubles are corked-up and gone
Zippity doo-dah ding dong derry day
Men in white coats came and took her away

A thousand days of life and love went poof
And this is the end of my silly song
So double dog doo-dah and oof oof oof
I pick up my pieces and move along

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 16, 2005, 4:05 am


She Winks at Me and I Suspect the Best

for she who is hope to me

Though at the darkest hour more wide awake
As here at midnight I keep watch alone
Than any blazing noon which I have known
Is this a dream? A nightmare? A mistake?
I ask with but the moon to answer me
Alone at midnight only destiny
With me and she seems fickle company
Yet here she is albeit in disguise

I have been young and jaded old and wise
Now only lonely I face and embrace
This only woman who still understands
Me as I was and am and in her hands
Is what remains of that which I will be

She keeps the future secret locked with bands
Of steel and she is sworn not to reveal
The mystery of what will be but she
Is smiling as she draws me to her breast
She winks at me and I suspect the best

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 15, 2005, 3:38 pm


Future Rising in the Sky

for she who is hope to me

The sunshine and the Santa Ana wind
Have swept in and I am no longer pinned
Within my doors by chilling winter rain
The breath of the desert breathes here again
And with this swooping sweeping of the spring
I feel that anything and everything
Any new thing can be new life I see
New love for me a possibility
Which blows in on the scented desert air

I feel in my heart I know in my mind
The excitement of breathing free at last
My hope is real I know I feel it there
Inside of me the dark days left behind
The detritus and debris of the past
Blown away by the warm refreshing breath
Of budding spring as it overwhelms death
My life is blowing in the wind and I
Can see my future rising in the sky

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 14, 2005, 6:25 pm


On the Bridge at Break of Day

Drifting lightly on the ocean
Underneath is dark and deep
Up and down a gentle motion
Far above where dead men sleep
Dappled sun descends serenely
I can hear the widows weep
Here where fate is felt so keenly

Night-watch evermore they keep
At the bottom of the sea
At the windows far away
But the lost and left shall be
Found in glory so they say

May there be a place for me
That I might their victory
Savor with them then I pray
Over death the enemy
From the windows far away
From the bottom of the sea
On the bridge at break of day

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 14, 2005, 10:30 am


The Delft-Blue Eyes of Tiffany

for Tiffany Andrea Ross-Fletcher

How wrong I was to think blue eyes
Held but contempt and lies for me
I never dared to realize
The wondrous possibility
These Delft-blue lights could ever be
Shining for me at this late hour
I would those two bright stars devour
And overwhelm me utterly

The summer skies which warm your face
Are captivated by the grace
Which they find there and so remain
Enchanted mirrors where I see
A dawn of hope an end of pain
A rising blooming destiny
Blue roses bud to bloom tonight

The Delft-blue eyes of Tiffany
Reveal my hope and it is bright
You give birth to the best of me
I leave behind the rest of me
Tonight your eyes restore my sight
In an undreamed-of ecstasy
The bright surprise by which I see
The Delft-blue eyes of Tiffany

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 13, 2005, 10:22 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1323:
Socksual Conundrum

a sonnet in couplets or in this case pairs

Having washed my socks in the sink yet seeing no sun
I find a conundrum of celibacy begun
Outside is misty-moisty inside I am alone
Drying options are limited and some are unknown

To pop them in the oven "peccata fortiter"
Has appeal I feel but then I wonder "do I dare?"
And a riddle fit to drive one to an early grave:
If the oven then conventional or microwave?

Then if I did use an oven for a laundry load
Would something unspeakable happen? Would it explode?
And if so would I go out in a blaze of glory?
More likely it would be seen as a silly story

Which it manifestly is and I will be just fine
My his-and-hers socks all his and they are all just mine

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 13, 2005, 7:39 pm


No Drama Please

Now all the hot air and hullabaloo has passed
Hysterical hotheads run out of gas at last
Or is it just that I can't hear them anymore?

I know I don't give a damn what they're shouting for
Not buying what they're selling and sick of smelling
Their hot and bothered and lathered-up demeanor
I seek a life simpler smarter purer cleaner

Weary bleary others teary dreary drama queen
And take your entourage too (you know what I mean)
Keep your juvenile tricks on your side of the Styx
The adults would like to have a conversation
Without the noise of your permanent perturbation

No drama please
Just do it
Get off your knees
Go to it

You continue to fail to realize
The audience does not like long goodbyes

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 13, 2005, 1:39 am


One Girl One Boy: Play With Me

for my friend Chanti

My friend and fellow-victim at the hands
Of hysterical and histrionic
Friendly enemies with insane demands
No sense of humor and unironic
So lost within themselves they cannot see
The light which shines for them this very hour:

If they won't have it then let's you and me
Enjoy it nor let their dark souls devour
Those black holes take the glories of this day
By which our God would beckon us away
Into the life intended for us here
A life of light and love and quiet joy
Thus let us leave behind the pain and fear
To step into the sun one girl one boy

Leave the twitter and the twaddle
Nevermore to mollycoddle
These damned and draining fools
Life's to enjoy
And we are not their tools
Step into the sun and play with me
One girl one boy
We'll all be better off you'll agree

And they'll just have to work it out on their own
We'll say "We've gone out to play: leave us alone"

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 12, 2005, 7:08 pm


I Would Rather Be a Beagle Than an Eagle

A haiku sounds like a Japanese sneeze to me
I am sick of sonnets as anyone might be
Who has written one thousand three hundred and some
Mostly for a girl who treated me like a bum
Rejecting me for a German paralegal

Now my brown eyes are those of a beaten beagle
But if I learn haiku I will write one for you
Writing all those sonnets gives me something to do
And it could be the blue-eyed Aryan master race
Might yet receive from me a cream pie to the face

All these years I had thought that losing World War Two
Had discouraged them from treating people like me
As lesser children of a lesser destiny
I would rather be a beagle than an eagle
Anyway

Let us pray
That someway somehow someday we can all be free
Both the rejecters and rejected: them and me

+Steven Curtis Lance



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Mar 12, 2005, 8:08 am


Personal Ad

My love was a lie and came to an end
I have been dumped and it hurt me so bad
I am taking out this personal ad
Would anyone like to be my girlfriend?
I would love to be the one and only
Of some kind lady for I am lonely

I got the tattoo fixed without her name
It was unbearable to have it there
Now it is a dark star falling in flame
The memory haunted me everywhere
Even on my arm but is gone there now
I have to get through this and live somehow

Is it too late to get back in the game?
It was all a big lie nor did she die
It was not give and take it was all fake
She sucked the marrow out of my bones my blood is sucked dry
I want to live but feel it so much easier to die
She rejected me and she is gone: I have to move on

Tonight I throw it all away
Tomorrow in the light of day
I will see and I will be free
Would anybody like to be with me?

+Steven Curtis Lance



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Mar 11, 2005, 7:19 pm


Mardi Gras Beads in Lent

My son Teddy here to see me
Wearing Mardi Gras beads in Lent
Knows all the secrets to free me
Or at least make the pain relent
Of having been made a fool of
As a middle-aged man by love

He is fantastically charming
He makes me feel that I am too
So kindhearted and disarming
And he loves what I write for you
We ate some apples together
I gave him some Feta cheese bread

With Teddy's help I will weather
This hollow feeling I am dead
Inside feeling like an old fool
He came from parochial school
Wearing Mardi Gras beads in Lent
I hope he comes back tomorrow

Time with Teddy is heaven-sent
An angel God lets me borrow
When I have nothing but despair
The bell rings and Teddy is there

+Steven Curtis Lance



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Mar 10, 2005, 11:12 pm


Reaching Out Shyly

We have had children you and I
Well-along in life together
With those chosen to be their own
And seen many seasons pass by
Been through fair and stormy weather
Married single divorced alone

I almost forgot
How to be alive
I wonder "Now what?"
And "Can I survive?"

The sun is shining here is it shining there?
When you love someone the sun shines everywhere

+Stevie Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 10, 2005, 6:31 pm


A Fraud Attorney for the Journey

I haven't been able to start my car
For three days so I can't get very far
I lent or maybe gave my bicycle
All I know is it has never come back
While on foot I feel like an icicle
Perhaps because of body-fat I lack

So I really needed to get out to the store
Having eaten all my apples I needed more
But most of all I needed the pills for the ills
From which I suffer that they might buffer the pain
Of being "widowered" and then shat upon again

A nice neighbor as a labor of love agreed to drive
But then did much more out of a great generosity
Now I'm shopped and pilled my refrigerator filled to thrive
I'll survive for the Lord sends his angels to care for me
To be there for me and there's no place I would rather be
Than here in the palm of God's hand to the end of the road

That neighbor is an attorney specializing in fraud
As a fraud victim now I recognize the hand of God
Life has taken from me but always paid back what it owed
And I thank God for a fraud attorney for the journey

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 10, 2005, 1:45 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1322:
So Free Now

My transformed tattoo is all healed-up now
Emblem of my having survived somehow
The strangest experience of my days
I will remember this nightmare always

But I take a deep breath and feel stronger
Having decided I would no longer
Live a lie for liars ever again
Freed as by fire and purified by pain
From base alloy I am refined to gold
I am mine and cannot be bought nor sold

Though I am alone my soul is my own
And that is worth not less than everything
Single with ten fingers and not one ring
I feel so free now just to be alone

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 9, 2005, 8:54 pm


Raise Your Middle Finger

for my kids of all ages everywhere

Looking back from fifty I'll save you some trouble
Just tell you straight up and burst another bubble
I want you to know an essential paradox
By which selfish people try to keep you in a box
In my experience I've found it to be true
That whenever anybody looks down on you
That person is not worth giving a second thought
And it's sad but true that people like that have brought
Most of all the misery we suffer down here
In a world manipulated by pain and fear

Raise your middle finger and say f**k YOU to these
Purveyors of doom and dysfunction and disease
I'm as good as anybody and so are you
In my retrospective view monkeys in the zoo
Have been much better people than judgmental dudes
Looking down long noses with shortsighted attitudes
And both the dudes and their 'tudes could use a swift kick
Right in their fancy asses having made us all sick
But you and I will live well and we'll laugh best and last
And we'll leave their narrowminded natterings in the past

So the next time one of these losers tries to put you down
Remember: foot to ass finger to face ...and smile to frown

+Steven Curtis (Papa) Lance

If anybody gives you any trouble call home at Studio Lance at (714) 289-2892



Copyright MMV








Mar 9, 2005, 5:20 am


As I Move On

Better late than never but still too late
Lost in a lonely land alone
To avoid the scorpion-sting of fate
Not for the first time I have known
What it feels like to be played for a clown
Against my will to entertain
Sick sadistic souls in a soulless town
Who find their pleasure in my pain

I stumble into the discovery
That I am still here wiser if sadder
That the fools cannot make a fool of me
The more I think about it the madder
I get and yet not a single regret
Not a cloud in my sky I am too young to die
Even though the misbegotten might not be gone
Soon all this will be forgotten as I move on

Scornfully underestimating me
They have disrespected destiny
Thus they make their fatal mistake
Tomorrow they will be gone
I smile as I move on

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 8, 2005, 5:09 pm


My Fellow Wanderer: My Friend

Friend let me walk with you awhile
Along this raggedy road
And we can make each other smile
While bearing the heavy load
Which is the lot of those of us
Who are doomed to wandering
No looking back no tears no fuss
Just a bittersweet song to sing

Enough and too much of the gloom and doom
Which darkens the road between womb and tomb
Away with all that and get on with it
May God bless and keep us along the way
I think you and I are a perfect fit
You me and the road on a foggy day

And I know there are far too many words
Thrown about everywhere hither and yon
So we can just listen to these busy birds
Working alongside as we wander on
Walking alongside through sunshine and rain
Triumph and tragedy pleasure and pain
All of it all of it till it is gone
For we will never pass this way again

God bless and keep us to the end
My fellow wanderer: my friend

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV











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