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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 2526 thru 2550 of 2779 Poems

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Mar 29, 2005, 12:16 am


Fallen Star

Back from that unknown I called love
To this known of being alone
Back to what I have known above
All else since all else was a dream
And I was alone all along
Seems things are never what they seem
To be to me reality
Is an elusive quality

The one I sang of never was
How ridiculous a love song
Or if she was she was because
I wished and dreamed and hoped that she
Might be but I see I was wrong

Too old too poor too far away
She just got tired of me one day
Rejecting me electing he
Who purchased her propinquity

Destined for ashes without graves
And doomed as I am just the same
They bought no freedom they are slaves
But she is his that is if she
Is at all whatever her name

Back from that unknown I called love
I have never been this alone
As dream turns nightmare push to shove
And soft sweet flesh to hard sour stone
As cornered now the mind gives way
Yet stings with folly sharp and stark
Nothing but sorry left to say
As stars fall and the world grows dark

A tattoo has been born again
Which once marked my not being free
Even as one once loved once slain
Transformed in its symbology
The star is fallen from the sky

A trail of fire rains in its wake
Where once it bore her name so high
Forsaken now thus I forsake
As she lies in the arms of he
Who kept his word that he would take
The one I dreamed I loved from me

She broke my heart and thus I break
The spell the hold of hell which she
Held me within her web of lies
As falls the star so would I be
Deceived no longer as I rise

Now ripen fruits of bitterness
Ever more bitter never less
When will this rock to gold refine
This vinegar ferment to wine?

I hate but will I hate them still
As spring warms sink beneath the chill
Of lost love never found again
Or is there yet an end of pain
If only by the trembling hand
Of one who failed to understand
That life is not fair after all
After the fall after the fall?

Calling on the phone alone
Holding only a phone
No one wants propinquity
To madness nor to me

Only answering machines

I understand now what this means
In darkness here I sense the fear
Of those who were once near and dear
As they all back away from me
And as I feel myself alone
On the lonely end of the phone

How empty now to realize
They wish that I would go away
Behind civility's disguise
I wish I had their strength today

Their machines are chirping hello
I am calling to say goodbye
But I am the last to know
To face the lie and die

So life was not fair after all
What does my life mean? It means
I face the lie and die
Fallen so far my fallen star
Chirping answering machines
After all chirp after the fall
Hello! Hello! Goodbye
My fallen star fallen so far!

What does my life mean after all
After the fall after the fall?

+Steven Curtis Lance


Copyright MMV







Mar 29, 2005, 12:12 am


Easter Vigil

Through a time of testing and of trial
When madness had become my daily bread
Drama on her part on mine denial
The dead alive the living nearly dead
From bad to worse there must have been a curse
Deliver me from the idolatry
Of she would control me utterly

The creature displaced the creator to
Become my god my Lord instead of you
And so I fell to false idolatry
But my idol proved unworthy of me
Offending divine sensibility

As dawns your rising day I ask you Lord
Forgive and may you only be adored
The impostor was not even a real
Person as I am with a heart to feel
But only a conspiracy of lies

Lord Jesus rise in me too as you rise

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 17, 2005, 3:53 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1324:
Heavy Metal Thunder

My '65 Chrysler is being repaired
I know she will make it I'm not even scared
I felt like I left her in good hands down there
When I looked back over my shoulder and saw
This morning at the Quality Auto Care
Them diving with wonder into her great maw
Where that enormous 383 V8
Has roared and wrestled with forty years of fate

She will rise to roar and wrestle forty more
I may not be fancy and I might be poor
But I have the only car I would ever
Want and she is a part of my family
Has been these forty years and I could never
Bear to hear her roar for anyone but me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 17, 2005, 12:05 am


Hosed

I got hosed by a crazy girl
Doo-dah doo-dah
Took me for an Internet whirl
Oh doo-dah day

I rode that insane carousel
Until my nerves were shot to hell
Oh double doo-dah doo-dah day
Always in trouble anyway
No matter what I said nor did

But I searched and finally found the lid
Of Pandora's box and screwed it back on
Now all my troubles are corked-up and gone
Zippity doo-dah ding dong derry day
Men in white coats came and took her away

A thousand days of life and love went poof
And this is the end of my silly song
So double dog doo-dah and oof oof oof
I pick up my pieces and move along

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 16, 2005, 4:05 am


She Winks at Me and I Suspect the Best

for she who is hope to me

Though at the darkest hour more wide awake
As here at midnight I keep watch alone
Than any blazing noon which I have known
Is this a dream? A nightmare? A mistake?
I ask with but the moon to answer me
Alone at midnight only destiny
With me and she seems fickle company
Yet here she is albeit in disguise

I have been young and jaded old and wise
Now only lonely I face and embrace
This only woman who still understands
Me as I was and am and in her hands
Is what remains of that which I will be

She keeps the future secret locked with bands
Of steel and she is sworn not to reveal
The mystery of what will be but she
Is smiling as she draws me to her breast
She winks at me and I suspect the best

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 15, 2005, 3:38 pm


Future Rising in the Sky

for she who is hope to me

The sunshine and the Santa Ana wind
Have swept in and I am no longer pinned
Within my doors by chilling winter rain
The breath of the desert breathes here again
And with this swooping sweeping of the spring
I feel that anything and everything
Any new thing can be new life I see
New love for me a possibility
Which blows in on the scented desert air

I feel in my heart I know in my mind
The excitement of breathing free at last
My hope is real I know I feel it there
Inside of me the dark days left behind
The detritus and debris of the past
Blown away by the warm refreshing breath
Of budding spring as it overwhelms death
My life is blowing in the wind and I
Can see my future rising in the sky

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 14, 2005, 6:25 pm


On the Bridge at Break of Day

Drifting lightly on the ocean
Underneath is dark and deep
Up and down a gentle motion
Far above where dead men sleep
Dappled sun descends serenely
I can hear the widows weep
Here where fate is felt so keenly

Night-watch evermore they keep
At the bottom of the sea
At the windows far away
But the lost and left shall be
Found in glory so they say

May there be a place for me
That I might their victory
Savor with them then I pray
Over death the enemy
From the windows far away
From the bottom of the sea
On the bridge at break of day

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 14, 2005, 10:30 am


The Delft-Blue Eyes of Tiffany

for Tiffany Andrea Ross-Fletcher

How wrong I was to think blue eyes
Held but contempt and lies for me
I never dared to realize
The wondrous possibility
These Delft-blue lights could ever be
Shining for me at this late hour
I would those two bright stars devour
And overwhelm me utterly

The summer skies which warm your face
Are captivated by the grace
Which they find there and so remain
Enchanted mirrors where I see
A dawn of hope an end of pain
A rising blooming destiny
Blue roses bud to bloom tonight

The Delft-blue eyes of Tiffany
Reveal my hope and it is bright
You give birth to the best of me
I leave behind the rest of me
Tonight your eyes restore my sight
In an undreamed-of ecstasy
The bright surprise by which I see
The Delft-blue eyes of Tiffany

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 13, 2005, 10:22 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1323:
Socksual Conundrum

a sonnet in couplets or in this case pairs

Having washed my socks in the sink yet seeing no sun
I find a conundrum of celibacy begun
Outside is misty-moisty inside I am alone
Drying options are limited and some are unknown

To pop them in the oven "peccata fortiter"
Has appeal I feel but then I wonder "do I dare?"
And a riddle fit to drive one to an early grave:
If the oven then conventional or microwave?

Then if I did use an oven for a laundry load
Would something unspeakable happen? Would it explode?
And if so would I go out in a blaze of glory?
More likely it would be seen as a silly story

Which it manifestly is and I will be just fine
My his-and-hers socks all his and they are all just mine

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 13, 2005, 7:39 pm


No Drama Please

Now all the hot air and hullabaloo has passed
Hysterical hotheads run out of gas at last
Or is it just that I can't hear them anymore?

I know I don't give a damn what they're shouting for
Not buying what they're selling and sick of smelling
Their hot and bothered and lathered-up demeanor
I seek a life simpler smarter purer cleaner

Weary bleary others teary dreary drama queen
And take your entourage too (you know what I mean)
Keep your juvenile tricks on your side of the Styx
The adults would like to have a conversation
Without the noise of your permanent perturbation

No drama please
Just do it
Get off your knees
Go to it

You continue to fail to realize
The audience does not like long goodbyes

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 13, 2005, 1:39 am


One Girl One Boy: Play With Me

for my friend Chanti

My friend and fellow-victim at the hands
Of hysterical and histrionic
Friendly enemies with insane demands
No sense of humor and unironic
So lost within themselves they cannot see
The light which shines for them this very hour:

If they won't have it then let's you and me
Enjoy it nor let their dark souls devour
Those black holes take the glories of this day
By which our God would beckon us away
Into the life intended for us here
A life of light and love and quiet joy
Thus let us leave behind the pain and fear
To step into the sun one girl one boy

Leave the twitter and the twaddle
Nevermore to mollycoddle
These damned and draining fools
Life's to enjoy
And we are not their tools
Step into the sun and play with me
One girl one boy
We'll all be better off you'll agree

And they'll just have to work it out on their own
We'll say "We've gone out to play: leave us alone"

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 12, 2005, 7:08 pm


I Would Rather Be a Beagle Than an Eagle

A haiku sounds like a Japanese sneeze to me
I am sick of sonnets as anyone might be
Who has written one thousand three hundred and some
Mostly for a girl who treated me like a bum
Rejecting me for a German paralegal

Now my brown eyes are those of a beaten beagle
But if I learn haiku I will write one for you
Writing all those sonnets gives me something to do
And it could be the blue-eyed Aryan master race
Might yet receive from me a cream pie to the face

All these years I had thought that losing World War Two
Had discouraged them from treating people like me
As lesser children of a lesser destiny
I would rather be a beagle than an eagle
Anyway

Let us pray
That someway somehow someday we can all be free
Both the rejecters and rejected: them and me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 12, 2005, 8:08 am


Personal Ad

My love was a lie and came to an end
I have been dumped and it hurt me so bad
I am taking out this personal ad
Would anyone like to be my girlfriend?
I would love to be the one and only
Of some kind lady for I am lonely

I got the tattoo fixed without her name
It was unbearable to have it there
Now it is a dark star falling in flame
The memory haunted me everywhere
Even on my arm but is gone there now
I have to get through this and live somehow

Is it too late to get back in the game?
It was all a big lie nor did she die
It was not give and take it was all fake
She sucked the marrow out of my bones my blood is sucked dry
I want to live but feel it so much easier to die
She rejected me and she is gone: I have to move on

Tonight I throw it all away
Tomorrow in the light of day
I will see and I will be free
Would anybody like to be with me?

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 11, 2005, 7:19 pm


Mardi Gras Beads in Lent

My son Teddy here to see me
Wearing Mardi Gras beads in Lent
Knows all the secrets to free me
Or at least make the pain relent
Of having been made a fool of
As a middle-aged man by love

He is fantastically charming
He makes me feel that I am too
So kindhearted and disarming
And he loves what I write for you
We ate some apples together
I gave him some Feta cheese bread

With Teddy's help I will weather
This hollow feeling I am dead
Inside feeling like an old fool
He came from parochial school
Wearing Mardi Gras beads in Lent
I hope he comes back tomorrow

Time with Teddy is heaven-sent
An angel God lets me borrow
When I have nothing but despair
The bell rings and Teddy is there

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 10, 2005, 11:12 pm


Reaching Out Shyly

We have had children you and I
Well-along in life together
With those chosen to be their own
And seen many seasons pass by
Been through fair and stormy weather
Married single divorced alone

I almost forgot
How to be alive
I wonder "Now what?"
And "Can I survive?"

The sun is shining here is it shining there?
When you love someone the sun shines everywhere

+Stevie Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 10, 2005, 6:31 pm


A Fraud Attorney for the Journey

I haven't been able to start my car
For three days so I can't get very far
I lent or maybe gave my bicycle
All I know is it has never come back
While on foot I feel like an icicle
Perhaps because of body-fat I lack

So I really needed to get out to the store
Having eaten all my apples I needed more
But most of all I needed the pills for the ills
From which I suffer that they might buffer the pain
Of being "widowered" and then shat upon again

A nice neighbor as a labor of love agreed to drive
But then did much more out of a great generosity
Now I'm shopped and pilled my refrigerator filled to thrive
I'll survive for the Lord sends his angels to care for me
To be there for me and there's no place I would rather be
Than here in the palm of God's hand to the end of the road

That neighbor is an attorney specializing in fraud
As a fraud victim now I recognize the hand of God
Life has taken from me but always paid back what it owed
And I thank God for a fraud attorney for the journey

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 10, 2005, 1:45 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1322:
So Free Now

My transformed tattoo is all healed-up now
Emblem of my having survived somehow
The strangest experience of my days
I will remember this nightmare always

But I take a deep breath and feel stronger
Having decided I would no longer
Live a lie for liars ever again
Freed as by fire and purified by pain
From base alloy I am refined to gold
I am mine and cannot be bought nor sold

Though I am alone my soul is my own
And that is worth not less than everything
Single with ten fingers and not one ring
I feel so free now just to be alone

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 9, 2005, 8:54 pm


Raise Your Middle Finger

for my kids of all ages everywhere

Looking back from fifty I'll save you some trouble
Just tell you straight up and burst another bubble
I want you to know an essential paradox
By which selfish people try to keep you in a box
In my experience I've found it to be true
That whenever anybody looks down on you
That person is not worth giving a second thought
And it's sad but true that people like that have brought
Most of all the misery we suffer down here
In a world manipulated by pain and fear

Raise your middle finger and say f**k YOU to these
Purveyors of doom and dysfunction and disease
I'm as good as anybody and so are you
In my retrospective view monkeys in the zoo
Have been much better people than judgmental dudes
Looking down long noses with shortsighted attitudes
And both the dudes and their 'tudes could use a swift kick
Right in their fancy asses having made us all sick
But you and I will live well and we'll laugh best and last
And we'll leave their narrowminded natterings in the past

So the next time one of these losers tries to put you down
Remember: foot to ass finger to face ...and smile to frown

+Steven Curtis (Papa) Lance

If anybody gives you any trouble call home at Studio Lance at (714) 289-2892



Copyright MMV








Mar 9, 2005, 5:20 am


As I Move On

Better late than never but still too late
Lost in a lonely land alone
To avoid the scorpion-sting of fate
Not for the first time I have known
What it feels like to be played for a clown
Against my will to entertain
Sick sadistic souls in a soulless town
Who find their pleasure in my pain

I stumble into the discovery
That I am still here wiser if sadder
That the fools cannot make a fool of me
The more I think about it the madder
I get and yet not a single regret
Not a cloud in my sky I am too young to die
Even though the misbegotten might not be gone
Soon all this will be forgotten as I move on

Scornfully underestimating me
They have disrespected destiny
Thus they make their fatal mistake
Tomorrow they will be gone
I smile as I move on

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 8, 2005, 5:09 pm


My Fellow Wanderer: My Friend

Friend let me walk with you awhile
Along this raggedy road
And we can make each other smile
While bearing the heavy load
Which is the lot of those of us
Who are doomed to wandering
No looking back no tears no fuss
Just a bittersweet song to sing

Enough and too much of the gloom and doom
Which darkens the road between womb and tomb
Away with all that and get on with it
May God bless and keep us along the way
I think you and I are a perfect fit
You me and the road on a foggy day

And I know there are far too many words
Thrown about everywhere hither and yon
So we can just listen to these busy birds
Working alongside as we wander on
Walking alongside through sunshine and rain
Triumph and tragedy pleasure and pain
All of it all of it till it is gone
For we will never pass this way again

God bless and keep us to the end
My fellow wanderer: my friend

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 7, 2005, 11:42 pm


Life Without Her

She lied and tricked and scammed me
She cursed me and Goddamned me
Exhausting me with all her drama
Unresolved from Papa and Mama
While I the fool rushed down to hell for duty
Drawn to doom by an unseen siren's beauty

I was a good sport and I did my level best
And I believed as she deceived and cheated me
I was in love and never mind all the rest
Now she lies in the arms of an enemy
A man she had always told me was a pig
The worst take what they want from the best of us
Their hearts are so small but their egos are big
Enough for all and each of the rest of us

I look back now so sadly
Why did it have to end like this?
It all turned out so badly
Now I will never taste her kiss

I loved that girl... so madly...

Oh Silke Shining in the Sky!
Who are you really?
Oh transcendental butterfly!
Please... come back to me...

But you are gone...
...If you ever were
Dusk without dawn...
...And life without her

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 6, 2005, 6:03 pm


An English Girl for Me

a silly song for Chanti

I sing of an English girl whom I know
Who doesn't consider me common nor low
Who never says I'm "geschmacklos" and so
To hell with those cruel continentals
Who never understood the fundamentals
Of decency especially to me
An English girl for me and wouldn't you agree
That the ability to laugh is half the battle?
Nor have her people ever treated mine like cattle

But all that's in the past I suppose they would say
Except they keep treating me like that today
I've got your "geschmacklos" I've got it right here
Take along some raspberries and a Bronx cheer
I may be a mongrel but mongrels can bite
And I might be mixed-up but part of me's right
My father's English after all and I'd a damn sight
Rather not bother with people who look down on me
Are cross and bossy whether here or across the sea

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 6, 2005, 12:27 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1321:
All a Lie

It was all a lie just a vulgar trick
A cheap disappointing Internet scam
A third-rate opera which makes me sick
It shows the world knows how lonely I am

And this farce went on for a thousand days
Only now am I beginning to see
Stumbling in a daze from the purple haze
Of a crazy maze what she did to me

Now my empty arms hold only the whys
Of how she could pretend and seem to be
What she was not to my naive surprise

Of course there was a man who helped her to
Make a fool of me and possibly you
I hope I can forget her and be free

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 5, 2005, 5:32 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1320:
Awakening

He is old his chest is bony
He is cold his heart is stony
He ate the bitter fruit of love
He swallowed all the pain
This dead man I am speaking of
Today will rise again

The light returns to burned-out eyes
The flesh returns to bone
The heartbeat and the breath arise
The soft smooth flesh from stone

The senses are restored and take
It all in as a smile
Returns to grace a newborn face
Missed for a little while

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








Mar 5, 2005, 1:47 am


Totus Tuus Domine

Prodigal lost far away
Would I could come home again
Lovelorn wandered far astray
I would lose this searching soul
At the breast of God today
Incomplete to be found whole
Take this ache and break this pain
Totus tuus Domine

Sold by self to slavery
Hope has flickered strength has gone
Here where darkness covers me
Light of light break through with dawn
Liberator make me free
Let me find my purpose there
At your breast as once young John
Found to share it everywhere

Hope and strength bring me to be
Overshadowed by the love
Of your rising Son to see
Bridged beneath beyond above
Past the life and death of man
Arching to eternity
Spun the spectrum in a span
Raise the rainbow over me

Lift me over hoist me high
Life in death and love through pain
To walk fearless on the sky
As once Peter on the sea
Once-cocooned to rise again
Give me wings and breathe on me
I would be a butterfly
In nomine Domini

Love thought lost and gone away
Rediscovered in the light
Of a thousand suns today
Overwhelm this jealous night
Take me father come what may
Spirit breathe me to the bright
Promise of your rising day
Totus tuus Domine

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV











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