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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 2426 thru 2450 of 2779 Poems

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May 21, 2005, 10:30 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1383:
For All I Knew

I thought I lost what I thought was love
But all I lost was sorrow
And I gained costly lessons above
All of which is: tomorrow
Things will always look better than now
If we can get through today
All experience teaches somehow
And is useful in some way

What I thought was love was never real
And I was deceived and mocked
But I remember it and I feel
How my heart believed unlocked
And let in love which for me was true
At least in my heart... for all I knew

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 21, 2005, 1:43 am


About the Author

Winston Churchill once said of Clement Attlee that he had "a great deal to be modest about." So do I. Attlee did beat Churchill in that election though.

I'm nobody, really. I call myself "The Lucky Little Bastard" because I came back from the dead when I was nineteen; that was quite a trick, but I can't take credit for it. God has been good to me; they say he takes care of those of us who don't have enough sense to take care of ourselves.

I was born and raised and still live in the old family home, the last and least, in Old Towne Orange, California. I share Studio Lance, as I call it, with my good old fat old cat, Freddie Noodles.

I have three wonderful children to whom I refer as "intelligent friends": Maria, 21, Stevie II, 19, and Teddy, 14; I enjoy their company and our close relationships very much. Otherwise I pretty much keep to myself, a recluse, something of an enigma to many.

I drive the 1965 Chrysler Newport Sedan I picked out for my grandparents when it was new, but it hasn't been running lately. I like to walk here in Old Towne, especially in warmer weather. I'm a skinny little guy, very sensitive to cold, very sensitive in general, actually.

I'd like to get to be a good poet before I die, if I can; I'm doing my best. I'm fifty years old now, born on New Year's Eve amid thunder and lightning in 1954. Everybody always seemed to think I'd amount to something special, starting off with a bang like that, and then also coming back from the dead like I did. I was in a coma for awhile, and supposedly my brain was completely destroyed. Nobody understands, least of all me, why I am here or what I am doing or how. I know I'm really curious about everything; that's the why of it.

I got to be really good at composing a cappella choral motets along the way; I like counterpoint. I've learned a few things here and there, even won some awards and things which don't really matter. To my mind--such as it is--kindness is the only thing which really matters; I want to be kind.

I am a simple and an honest man, and I want to be remembered as a kind man too.

New Poems is my fifth book of poetry. I hope you like it. Feel free to look me up anytime and get in touch. Call me up and I'll read you some poems.

God bless and keep you.

+Steven Curtis Lance








May 20, 2005, 10:04 pm


Summer Came Suddenly

up a tree in Texas

While I was shivering it got warmer
Summer came suddenly
Came on strong
Better than the misty-moisty former
Way which things seemed to be
For so long

I got so tired of always feeling cold
And generally hunkered-down and small
Rained-on reined-in isolated and old
At last has come the best season of all

Summer came suddenly and found me lost
Bound up in blankets trying to get warm
I never could afford what winter cost
It only seemed to want to do me harm

But summer showed up in the nick of time
When I was just holding on by the skin
Of my teeth here shivering my chilled rhyme
Getting colder more bitter and more thin

Summer came suddenly and I can see
Life can be beautiful even for me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 19, 2005, 11:52 am


So Clear So Bright

for Heartshope Kandaroo

People think that they love whether
Or whether not
And they thought they were together
But they forgot
To love unconditionally
The way we do
The kindest kind of love I see
Is me and you

If somehow everyone could feel
Like you and me
If they could just feel what is real
Then they would be
Shining just like these stars tonight
So clear so bright
And all of us would be all right
For love is truth and truth makes free

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 18, 2005, 7:39 pm


Shut Up

Guns before butter and bombs before bread
The winds of war are blowing us away
Intelligence which seems madness instead
For them or else against them so they say
If you resist them they say you are mad
But have you seen the latest news today?

Their guns between their legs they seem so glad
To strut like barnyard roosters through the earth
As if they owned it and there were no God
No life after death nor life after birth
The peaceful are considered quaint and odd
And life is cheap when on the other side

The dove lies bleeding and will soon be dead
Shut up sit down for a hell of a ride
Guns before butter and bombs before bread

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 17, 2005, 9:11 pm


Taste of Death

You think you can see
But you have gone blind
You think it is me
Gone out of my mind
But it is just you
Know not what you do
You think you can feel
You make such a fuss
But you are not real

You are elected
By making afraid
We are rejected
But all are unmade
The joke is on us

With my last free breath I say
May you taste of death today

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 17, 2005, 12:20 pm


The End

Long the strife short the breath
Late on this day in May
The sun has gone away
Dark is life dark is death
And we only delay
The downfall and decay
Which lurks around the bend

I wandered there astray
And there I found the end

They say this or that is why
Philosophizing as they die
In vain too late the hand of fate
Removes us from the stage
And I think it is funny
It is all about money
At the end of the age

All we have is absurdity
Nothing else left for you and me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 17, 2005, 9:00 am


Haunted: Dying Slowly

After a lifetime of everything lost
Now I know why she kept the TV on
The better not to think of what was gone
Expensive mistakes unbearable cost
She wanted to block out the echoing
Of harsh life mocking death of everything
Which dogged her every step wherever she
Found herself it found her then it found me

Having consumed my mother then it turned
To me her only son when it had done
I saw it then but only too late learned
Her lesson to which I was born begun
Inside of me to know personally
What it is really like to die this way
Now after all with nothing left to say
All I can do is understand and be
Living and dying to her memory
Her son came up but it is not yet day

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 16, 2005, 11:27 pm


Last and Least

I want to stay here as long as I can
As long as the money holds out
Recluded here a lost and lonely man
Secluded found in faith and doubt

I would like to believe I can hold on
I could never explain it to
Make any sense but when all this is gone
There will remain the echo of
Five generations one family's love

Of all those hopes so many knew
Of birth and death childhood and senescence
Wisdom and immaturity
Of courtship and marriage of me and you
Life death and immortality

Too much for me and so at last we fall
No excuses in my defense
The last and least the one to lose it all

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 15, 2005, 11:53 pm


Time-Frozen Snowballs

for Grandma and Grandpa and Mom

Here snowballs bloom on bushes in the spring
They never bloom until the sun shines warm
They wait through wind and flood through drought and storm
They are not fazed by these nor anything
But stubbornly await that day in May
When they see it is time for them to say
That spring has come and that this is their day

Eastern viburnum at home in the west
Grandma and Grandpa and Mom and I laughed
Over the years standing there photographed
Posing with spring snowballs of memory
In bleached photographs in our Sunday best
Blooming through the album leaves of the past
No one is left to take pictures of me

All dead and gone now and I am the last
With these time-frozen snowballs none can see

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 15, 2005, 11:32 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1382:
Consider the Moon

When I consider the moon and I do
It always seems to be a she to me
She is a woman surely for she wears
Ineluctable femininity
To which nothing else in the sky compares

Beaming bone-white and shining silver through
The night as she waxes and wanes away
To nothing only to be born anew
Each night with something different to say
She speaks to me and surely speaks to you

When you consider the moon as I do
Can you not feel her gentle gravity?

She raises me and makes me stand up straighter
That winking eye is more than just a crater!

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 14, 2005, 4:56 am


Diamond

for Heartshope Kandaroo

When the learner is ready the teacher will come
When the light lances night there can be no more fears
As forged in the mirror a diamond appears
The teacher is ready and the learner brings some
Surprises as hope rises to break a new day

The learner and the teacher embrace at sunrise
The diamond shines its new light burns night away
I find you and you find me in each other's eyes
By the light of the diamond forged from the tears
Of watching and waiting and wondering to say:

When learner and teacher are ready each appears

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 13, 2005, 8:03 pm


Thank You

for Heartshope Kandaroo

The sky was light
But it was night
For me

You called me as the sun was going down
But then you made it come back up again
You see

I never went outside nor went downtown
But life flows into me and I begin
To be

So happy that my face breaks out in smiles
When you call out to me across the miles

Now as the sun comes up I think of you
As you work hard at your new job today
And I just wanted to write you and say
That you saved my life again Kandaroo

And as you knew you called because you know
You do
To savor this sweet day before I go
Thank you

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 13, 2005, 7:11 am


Shooting Star

for Heartshope Kandaroo

Across the deserts far and wide
East through the southwest to your side
To have seen you before I died
That you might know I meant it when
I said I believed in you then

I hope you know I mean it now
I do and say it once again
And if time and the fates allow
If only in your memory
I will be there someway somehow

And when you see a shooting star
Look up and know that I will be
With you as you remember me
Such closeness never can be far
Away and it is always free

Whose life transcends to endless days?
Who shares his heart his hope his ways

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 13, 2005, 4:00 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1381:
MCAS Yuma

for Heartshope Kandaroo

The smoke trees and the mesquite trees
And all the land was only sand
My manzanita memories
The Arizona of my dreams
Was paradise or so it seems
Across these California years

I know it now I understand
That there was hardly anywhere
But looking through something like tears
All I remember is the good

Chretin's tamales refried beans
Quartz saguaros petrified wood
Green young Marines red sunset scenes
The catfish-fry and Semper Fi

+Steven Curtis Lance


Copyright MMV








May 12, 2005, 11:21 pm


Volunteer Nasturtiums and Wild Sweet-Peas

for my son Stevie II and his friend Julia

Volunteer nasturtiums and wild sweet-peas
There just as they were a hundred years ago
Saved in my own backyard by the likes of these
My immortal soul decides to not let go
Of the promise offered me this day in May
By the things I know and which I do not know

Since I like it here I will not go away

I can go out wandering but then come back
Visit with these hummingbirds and buzzing bees
What I have is more important than my lack
It must be for a reason I am like this
And the way I am is not so bad to me
Here in my backyard embracing this sweet kiss

Happy happenstance of serendipity

Saved in my own backyard by the likes of these
Volunteer nasturtiums and wild sweet-peas

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 12, 2005, 7:08 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1380:
A Function of Felinity

for Heartshope Kandaroo

Fred pokes his head through two panes of the curtain
Face framed between them commanding a certain
Dignity and absurdity at one go
Two green laser-eyes on all which lies below
The front room window where he keeps the watch there
Just in case he should spy his friend Smokey Joe
Or heaven forbid some strange dog ambling by
I think he also keeps one eye on the sky

Nothing gets past him nothing can outlast him
Vigilance a function of felinity
Which animates his radar-ears to motion
As standing guard with uttermost devotion
He keeps the watch while right here on top of me
There is nothing Freddie Noodles does not see

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 12, 2005, 1:54 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1379:
Had Enough

I was too naive to realize
The Internet is a world of lies
I hoped it would prove a useful tool

It did: but for making me a fool

Crazy people saying crazy things
Everyone listens when a fool sings
But no one cares for reality

Not about you and not about me

Absurdity keeps stupidity
From killing me with avidity
So I linger although wounded sore

I have had enough I want no more

I was always giving and forgiving
But my life is simply not worth living

+Steven Curtis Lance

Absum



Copyright MMV








May 11, 2005, 10:02 am


Listening to the Sky

for Chanti

In the moon of the return of Saturn
Saturn returns to drop on top of me
Searching the sky for meaningful pattern
Only darkness far as my eye can see

I look up and I wonder what it means
And if you asked me I would tell you I
Know not the North Star from Great Northern beans
But I still keep looking wondering why
Things are as they are and what does that star
Know which I know not or maybe forgot

In truth I never knew a thing at all
I believed this that and the other thing
Standing here cold and curious and small
Looking up and watching and listening
Trembling now in tears alone with my fears
Waiting to hear the music of the spheres

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 10, 2005, 7:46 pm


Stalker

No more will I endure your politics
Yesterday today but not tomorrow
Nor do I care to know your petty tricks
The ones which you think so very clever

Your endless rants bring me endless sorrow
You suck at my soul but I will never
Let you run me through with a pin and mount
Me in your museum of those who failed
To fight you when they could and now are jailed
Within the shadows of conspiracy

No! You have underestimated me
You bring me down but not down for the count
You ring me up and lecture me all day
You say you will destroy who will not play
I have three words for you I want to say:
LEAVE ME ALONE (as I hang up the phone)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 10, 2005, 6:35 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1378:
For One I Care For Some I Do Not

They choose to spend their grim days fighting
Imaginary conspiracies
Each other and us these tragedies
Instead of being useful writing

I suppose they just need more to do
This forbidden quality of us
Is such fun as stupid people fuss
Lacking lives they live through me and you

We have lives nor do we care to play
Their sick perverted whispering games
Their downscale drama their sorry shames
Sad and futile failures: go away!

Pardon us as we pursue the best
Leave the gossipmongers take the rest

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 10, 2005, 2:35 am


Post-Precipitation Contemplation

I am getting on well with the weather
On this the first day after Mother's Day
Today we had a nice time together
Climate is starting to listen to me
I feel very flattered I have to say
At least the atmosphere and I agree

Now I look forward to the rest of May
With all the joys of summer still to come
A felicitous time to be alive
Especially after all those tiresome
Months of rain when I was afraid to drive
I no longer have to think about that

My car will not run but walking is fun
I sleep alone but I have a warm cat
All in all I am just glad to be here
Or anywhere at all at this late age
With the atmosphere less drear less severe
Now smiling on my lonely pilgrimage

I am more suited to contemplation
When not pelted by precipitation

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 9, 2005, 9:00 am


Absurdity Saves the Day!

for Heartshope Kandaroo (and you and you and you)

When hope is unsharable
You think it could not get worse
A smile seems unwearable
In a random universe
When life is unbearable
You feel like riding a hearse

That is when absurdity
Saves the day and never fails
Laughing existentially
As the train runs off the rails
Singing dancing you and me
In our pink top hats and tails

Let the Tom DeLays Bill Frists
All the fundamentalists
Live well on their way to hell
As they fish and we cut bait

Just too little? Just too late?
Come on out and step in style
Ours the folly! Theirs the fate!
Come on out and smile awhile

All is relative I say
Their Second Amendment rights
Our First Amendment bright lights
Nothing matters anyway:

Absurdity saves the day!

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 8, 2005, 11:02 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1377:
On Mother's Day

in memoriam Patricia Lance

My mother used to call it jealousy
This impulse which makes others so unkind
Whatever it is it is hell for me

Some seem to just love to mess with my mind
Push all the buttons to make me feel bad
Make it so I never know what to think
Use me abuse me and make me feel sad
And ultimately bring me to the brink
Of giving up or else of going mad

She knew this because they did it to her

On Mother's Day I weep for what we lost
Of all the joys which are not never were
Will never be and stagger at the cost
Of jealousy to my Mom and to me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV








May 8, 2005, 11:03 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1376:
Finding You

for Heartshope Kandaroo

Saturday night and the weather agrees
All of the pieces form into one whole
Warm open sky bears a beckoning breeze
Bringing the universe into my soul

New Moon-bright stars wink at me through the trees
Magic is sparkling around me tonight
I was born just for such moments as these
Here from the womb of the transfigured night

This is the cure for my lonely disease
For you are with me wherever you are
Flashing around me elusive firefly

The moon veils her face revealing a star
I never would have noticed had she shone
Finding you finding myself not alone

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV











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Displaying Poems 2426 thru 2450 of 2779 Poems

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