Dark this night of sable rich and deep Breathes a quiet breeze upon chill air Far away they dance and die and weep Are born and laugh and learn to walk where Millions walked and fell and turned to soil Doomed entombed after a life of toil
No one dances no one is born here No one laughs and no one here walks now But for one occasion which most fear When strangers are moved to dance somehow Silently they dance as turns the wheel Silently the turning earth they feel
Hooded in the shadows now they face Each other across the turning ring Midnight wheels majestic in the grace Of ancient rite like a living thing In the new moon in the holy place Where the dead are brought burnt offering
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Mar 1, 2005, 10:36 pm
Transcendental Sonnet #1316: Here in Between Heaven and Hell
I had a love then I had none One day she was then she was gone I loved I lost now what do I Do as my life passes me by?
Life is my gift and must go on Yet is not mine to take nor give It is commanded that I live Until the course of days is run Which has been given unto me
To span my mortal destiny To do the very best I can By doing good by doing well To be an honest useful man Here in between heaven and hell
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Mar 1, 2005, 4:14 pm
"Between us and heaven or hell there is only life, which is the frailest thing in the world." - Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
A Little Peace and Quiet
I am looking for a quiet place A quiet place of a quiet grace The quiet grace of a loving face Of someone who will actually Care about insignificant me
Perhaps not very dramatic Nor terribly acrobatic Yet interesting some might say If in an undramatic way
I am looking for a little peace and quiet
And if I can ever find it I will try it I will try it on with glee Might you like to come along To try it on and be with me Peacefully and quietly strong?
Everyone is looking though some might deny it And all we want is a little peace and quiet
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Mar 1, 2005, 4:54 am
Transcendental Sonnet #1315: Gone
As long as I have the sky Let all the rest of it go For if the sky is in my Eye at least I always know I have a roof over me And I will never feel jailed
A fantastic view and free What if the world says I failed? The truth is I don't care That was then and this is now I left it all back there And I will get by somehow
I packed up some books in this old backpack I don't give a damn and I won't look back
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 28, 2005, 10:47 pm
Invitation to Tea (from Me)
Enough of crazy people who are mean to me And no more drama please I ask you on my knees Enough of phony friends and all their perfidy More than enough of difficult relationships Today like yesterday will live in infamy I'm celibate I have a cat I'm Mr. Chips A little peace and quiet would be very nice A cup of English tea some apples and brown rice
I am fifty years old now my children are grown A gentle man who just wants to write poetry If you want to make trouble please leave me alone Perhaps I'm a bore and not what you're looking for I'm not very sexy and that's just fine with me But if you can be civilized I think you'll see There is more than competition and position To be found and I know because I've been around
If you want to compete and pose do it on your own time If you must live fast and high-flown then please hang up the phone I'm an old formalist poet just leave me to my rhyme Having said that feel free to come and visit me for tea
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 28, 2005, 4:27 pm
White Towers in the Sky
White towers in the sky passing me by In a magisterial procession Glory on glory as far as I see Breathtakingly majestic progression
An unimagined verticality High and solemn unhurried sweeps from west Across the far horizon toward the east As if the greatest loftiest and best Had deigned to show themselves unto the least
Which would be me as I marvel below At the heavens unfolding above me As if God speaks to me "be still and know"
I would run and gather those who love me But I am alone except for my cat Who rolls on the sidewalk happy to be Here by my side to keep me company
I pause to pet him and I thank God that Above me such magnificence today And cute cats rolling here below at play Are given me as gifts of harmony To save my mind as God has saved my soul
I feel at peace and humble and made whole As part of everything serene and free My sister! My brother! Look at the sky! You too may see white towers passing by!
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 28, 2005, 9:59 am
Blue on Blue
I wish you were here to see the moon with me Tonight my dream-lover from over the sea I could never begin to describe aright This refraction this diffusion of the light As haloed by gold clouds wreathed by silver mist The moon becomes a daring aerialist
Riding the clouds and thrilling the crowds all night Surfing the sky and rising as high as dawn Till merging with the greater light it is gone
But it has only disappeared from my eyes To rise in glory there when it is day here To delight other eyes in faraway skies And when it is far from me it will be near Two true blue eyes of love right there above you To dance for you reminding you I love you
Blue on blue to bind us two By a third the moon and you And I: blue on blue on blue
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 28, 2005, 12:55 am
To Make a Pretty Girl Smile Awhile
I would like to sing a little song To make a pretty girl smile awhile You may say silly willy-nilly Not very fancy not very long A little something for a little girl A pretty girl who makes my senses swirl
I want to be with her to take a whirl On that old insane carousel of love And sing a little song for her above All the absurdity this crazy life Can throw at us and all the noise and stuff Which interferes and keeps her far from me
I know she loves me and that is enough And I also know that my destiny Might well be to make this pretty girl my wife So I will sing like there is no tomorrow And drown out with my song the noise and sorrow Of everything ...and she will smile as I sing
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 27, 2005, 9:20 pm
They Always Told Her I Was Not Good Enough
I once loved a woman and she was the one She was the right one for me But everyone around her always told her That our love could never be They tried to blind her eyes so she could not see
But when she opened them I was still there With a love which they could never understand Just stupid old me my dream and my prayer Now we will meet again in a better land
I once loved a woman and wanted her so They wanted our love to die They always told her I was not good enough They tried insult they tried lie They nearly succeeded but she needed me
Now she is gone and they remain Nor give a damn about my pain
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 27, 2005, 10:01 am
Crawling Toward Healing
one poet's psychological crisis and pilgrimage
Is madness inescapable for me A biological imperative Written in the book of life in the sky Encoded in my genes and all that means A destiny of family history A sentence of death under which to live No matter what I do nor how I try?
Made a fool of on the Internet My words offend seized on by enemies I thought were friends who relish times like these Made a fool of everywhere and yet In sickness what am I supposed to do Stop writing poetry? I will not be him I cannot be you I can only be me I have to express myself and I will Forty years failure of medication I have paid my dues I have paid the bill
I return to God and meditation With the help of God I will overcome I will stand again somehow By the love of God I will overcome And my healing starts right now Breakdown breakup breakout Never count me out
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 26, 2005, 3:55 pm
For I Am Not
I wrote a lot of poetry No one wanted to see I never noticed this before: I had become a bore
I used to send my poems to my "friends" But nevermore because I think it tends To make them all get tired of me I am sure you agree
So now yes sir and now yes ma'am I will no longer spam With poetry for which you do not care Ignore me: just pretend I am not there
For I am not
I just forgot If momentarily You do not care for me As I once thought
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 26, 2005, 12:58 pm
Considering Conceding: Weighing Withdrawal
(Making the same mistake Kierkegaard made?)
As I have discussed and written before The human being finds himself alone But if he should hear a knock at his door Ought he then open it to the unknown? Is it imaginary? Is it real? Better if imaginary is how I feel
To the question of clerical celibacy I answer with Isaiah "here am I: send me"
A difficult relationship is worse Than being alone in the universe No regrets no fears nor would one cause tears
I prefer to avoid the heartbreak and trouble Which comes when we cause our aloneness to double And I have been celibate for these past twelve years
Could there be hope? Of course! There always is Yet I fear that hope is not mine ...but his:
Rival! I salute you in your superiority! Leave me alone then with my God! Lord here am I: send me
Only one haunts me No one else wants me
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 26, 2005, 10:54 am
Moment of Clarity
Alienation and isolation My difficult roommates of fifty years Today took welcome if brief vacation And took along my phobias and fears Away they went on holiday to hell Left me to fend for myself on my own
And in their absence today turned out well Not alienated only alone Not isolated merely singular And as for fears of things which never were They went with the phobias and the rest
I am beginning to like it this way And am wondering if perhaps the best Idea is to extend this holiday Of all my demons make them stay away Changing the locks and not going back to The way things were no matter what they do
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 25, 2005, 12:02 pm
To Be Alone Together or Apart?
Is everyone ultimately alone As loop and closed circuit joined end to end And never really understood nor known To others be they lover child or friend?
Alone with thoughts of God or of the void Alone yet always seeking company? To be alone together is the goal Aloneness doubled but never destroyed
Human beings seem predestined to be Singly or doubly alone at the soul The chasm never filled by orgasm The little death but foretaste of the great
The still point in silence as hours grow late Calls higher than the mocking of the flesh That moment of communion in a sea Of misunderstanding and wounds made fresh
I wonder is there hope for you and me? Could we undertake to make pilgrimage Called higher to the still point in an age Of anger and utter cacophony?
To sleep to dream to wake to doubt To have a broken or a bricked-up heart Looking within looking without To be alone together or apart?
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 25, 2005, 5:11 am
Transcendental Sonnet #1314: Magister Ludi / Betting It All
Goose and gander Tit for tat in love and war Raise no dander All is fair if this then that Which is will be as it has been before
Are you in or are you out? You roll the dice and the game Is on Once you join the game all doubt Is gone
Branded on your heart the name Burning in the smoking sky Love cannot afford to die Today so sit down take your cards and play
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 24, 2005, 8:13 pm
A Relative Reality
What people call reality Seems relative to them to me I don't reject it out of hand I just don't see what the fuss is about It's something I don't understand In their reality it seems I'm out
But that seems to me to be a good thing I don't see what it has to do With here and now with me and you Unreal reality has a false ring
It's whatever they say Not even what they do On any given day And done to me and you But that would seem to me to be A relative reality
Not really real at all! You see?
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 24, 2005, 3:24 pm
Simply Together
People have hurt us People desert us When we think we have a friend When we have come to depend On those who say they love us Their protection above us Beneath us around us disappears Betrayal has found us lost in tears
Yet there have been one or two People just like me like you And nothing can come between Us and nothing can demean What we share and how we care For one another all our days True friends are for now and for always Today and forever we will be there
No if when nor whether But simply together
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 24, 2005, 11:14 am
On Transcending Anger and Hate
Perhaps one has to reach a certain age To finally transcend the anger of Life which so often burns us in our youth To gain perspective and escape from rage Evolving through unselfishness to love In the service of meaning and of truth
Perhaps one needs to live for quite awhile To be able to accept with a smile That there is so much which does not make sense To learn to shrug the shoulders shake the head Move past defensiveness as a defense Finding some sense before being found dead
But then again there are angry old men Some people never seem to get it straight Consumed by the sin of pride from within That there is no hope to be found in hate
I have seen it twist pervert and destroy A man who was once a beautiful boy His loving heart punctured as by a pin He was once a mother's pride-and-joy son Left now a hollow husk by hate undone I would not be that man please God not me
Blessed is he who hate transcends With a little help from his friends
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 24, 2005, 4:50 am
Transcendental Sonnet #1313: So Many People and So Few Years
I would have friends and I would be one Be a blessing to those around me Would know one in need when I see one Have others be glad that they found me And in general be of service To my fellow human beings here
So many are anxious and nervous I would soothe suffering and fight fear And honestly love fellow creatures As all are both students and teachers
So much to learn and so much to teach Many tears to dry and many fears To calm and comfort many to reach So many people and so few years
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 23, 2005, 7:37 pm
Cats in Clover
The winter sunshine feels so good today The sky was all motley and dappled shade It could have easily gone either way Light and dark fought but decision was made That the sun would break free and victorious
My cat is basking and thinks it glorious To feel this half-forgotten warmth again After days of steady relentless rain Which indeed is to return as refrain Soon enough but let us not think of that
But that is how they say it is to be I would never dream of telling my cat This afternoon is perfect and I say Thank you Lord for this for my cat and me
I should tell you that my cat's name is Fred Very well-fed and a very good friend He is nine years old fat and rusty-red When it is raining cold we always end Up curled-up together as we weather Out all the strange things strange storms tend to send
But now he has gone out with Smokey Joe The neighbor-cat who knocked on the window With his paw as he saw Fred sleeping there So now they are romping and frisking where They like to be best as the sun sets in the west They leap and roll over in rain-softened clover
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 23, 2005, 4:45 pm
Reporting Live from Hollywood: Oscar-Nomination-Worthy Rain
I prayed "O Lord bring back the fun" He brought back the sun till Sunday At least that is the day they say Another round will be begun Of Oscar-nomination-worthy rain
A few days in which to dry out Before we all get hosed again And wonder if a waterspout Will come ashore down at Seal Beach Or rockslide berms on PCH will breach
I would not complain but I should explain It only happens in February And none of us here are ever very Good at handling any sort of weather
But this rain does bring people together If only in a muddle or a crash And always in a puddle with a splash This being Hollywood we are quite good At making the most of it with a dash Of style as we muck about for awhile
Whatever the Lord and Oscar may bring In this "industry" I live love and sing We make a production of everything
+Steven Curtis Lance ASCAP (my initials make me sound more "industry")
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Oscar TM AMPAS
Feb 23, 2005, 3:47 am
Bring Back the Sun
They tell me depression is on the rise In southern California where the sun Supposedly always shines there are signs It has been so long since sun met our eyes That melancholia has now begun To sneak into the supermarket lines Psychological sorrow psychic pains Are zig-zagging across the freeway lanes
Trying to equalize and stabilize Our mood within this constant rain of late Has tipped the scales of many to create Depression of unmanageable size All night all day no matter what they say About it the rain will not go away
They worry about it on the telly But we feel helpless as we realize As they speak of cut-off lows and storm cells We are cut-off in our personal hells Our hillsides are now turning to jelly So they say depression is on the rise
It is not in our heads but in our skies Bring back the fun O Lord bring back the sun
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Feb 22, 2005, 6:07 pm
Content Beneath a Discontented Sky
I thought that we had gotten through the rain In southern California where the sun Had teased a little while with winking smile But now it has started to rain again Another round of mudslides has begun And we will have to hunker down awhile
This old house has come through many a storm Nor is there any mud to slide where I Just write my sonnets and try to keep warm Curled up with my cat and watching the sky Through old lace curtains here in my front room
And though the sky grows dark there is no gloom Inside of me as spring begins to sprout Within as the torrents begin without I will stay right here I will have no fear And when this is over I will go out To go and buy more apples at the store
God grant them grace today who mudslides face And may he keep eccentric poets dry At least I have a place of quiet grace Content beneath a discontented sky
I will not float away today but if I do I will ride the tide to float all the way to you
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 22, 2005, 11:58 am
Transcendental Sonnet #1312: After Rain
A patch of blue sky through the lace curtain Of my Grandma's kitchen which is now mine Sunbeams through the old windows light the floor
I understand that life is uncertain Yet now after rain a sense of divine Order and symmetry more than before Comes into focus looking through old lace Absently as I watch sparrows return And in small bright white cloud-shapes where I trace Profoundest secrets I may never learn
I like to know but like to wonder too I seek no scientific proof of things I like to hear that sparrow when he sings And I would like to take a walk with you
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV Silke LLC
Feb 22, 2005, 1:25 am
With You
for you~*
The sun and the rain The summer so warm The cold winter storm The joy and the pain
The times and spaces Of my life's refrain Ever new begun
I would not trade places With you nor anyone
This is my life it belongs to me I have not been but I would be free Should you be free would you like to see How you and I together might be?
My heart is free and my heart is true I would love to share my heart with you
