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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 176 thru 200 of 2843 Poems

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May 26, 2016, 7:29 am

To Realize Surprise

Having thought a lot
Having thought about it
A lot that I thought
I knew I did not

Having come to doubt it
Then now I know what
I did not that I do

Not knowing but
Not having to

Thought it out and got
It when I thought it through
That I never knew

Having thought again
About it now is when
Opening my eyes
To realize surprise

Not having to know
But find out as I go

Steven Curtis Lance

May 23, 2016, 10:51 am

Between Us

Lately my poetry
Is the summing up
Of my reality

Who I am and what
I am fated to be
That is coming up
Now from inside of me

Bittersweet not sour
Somehow at this late hour
Like a memory

Not of what has been but
Is always again
Insight from inside when
The way out is in

The meaning in between
Within us to see
Is us ultimately

Lately I have been
Seeing the meaning of
Life being the love
Between us finally

Seeing how we could
Now being understood
Seeing being seen

You and I as we
Who know what we mean

Steven Curtis Lance

May 17, 2016, 8:34 pm

That Certain Cryptic Confidence

Startled schizophrenia asks "what is that?"
Jaded depression asks "what does it matter?"
Both of them me I agree with the latter

Paranoia says it is directed at
Me to see it could be a conspiracy!

But paranoia does that likes to flatter
Itself as the center of the universe
I would get that too and yet it could be worse

I think because my father was a hitman
Who was these too is the thing that makes me tough

Not excusing anyone of anything
Unlike many not accusing anyone
Just that this of all things must be just the thing

Getting it early on getting along an
Anomaly not looking for a strongman

Kind of having my doubts about one instead
Glad to lose the dad issues having had done
With haunting before not wanting any more

Having had my own madman having been sad
Getting over a strongman having had one

When the less insane are out shouting about
What they are afraid of from the inside out
Letting go and getting better not too bad

Hearing an earful of fearful strongman stuff
I find me to my mind to be strong enough

Myself another madman but other than
That a getting of it and a getting at
It without fear that is what I am here for

How somehow now as his one surviving son
I get on with what it takes that makes this that
"Certain cryptic confidence" as one man said

This is what he meant about what went no doubt
Given through the blood to the living from the dead

Steven Curtis Lance

May 12, 2016, 11:32 am


If I cannot forget
At least I can not regret
Though I remember still
I can go on so I will

I who learned the hard way
Yesterday to know today
That I may never know
Until the end anyway
Am open to surprise

So I let go then to go
On going even though
Being so long now to be
For seeing how it goes

Of to be or not I chose
To go ahead and see
Opening my hoping eyes
I understand I guess
Though I wonder nonetheless

I go on being me
Having come from no to yes
Go on now I suppose
For my curiosity

Steven Curtis Lance

May 11, 2016, 1:45 am

Plastic Bag in Paradise

Discarded it defied us
And became detritus
Washed up in the desert where
I see it flapping there

Plastic bag in Paradise
Stuck on a Teddy Bear
Cholla you make me think twice
About my groceries

Thrown away but here you are
Blown in flown out so far
Returning to indict us
For our absurdities

Stuck on a thorn a warning
Is flapping in the air
In Paradise this morning
But could be anywhere

Steven Curtis Lance

May 7, 2016, 11:00 pm


Listening to the songs
Of these desert birds
I realize the words
In an avian native tongue
Each have specificity
That may be lost between
Us do not mean us
Being one another
Otherwise and other

But the meaning belongs
To the otherwise who
Recognize this song being sung
Seeing how I sing it too
Know somehow what they mean
Showing between us
The universe conspiring
For us for aspiring

Otherwise and other
Being one another

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 30, 2016, 1:39 am

The Carnival

The question was when I was a kid
Would I go the carnival
Look at the girls who looked at me too
Face our incarnate arrival?

Could clumsy kids be graceful we who
Were unsure about survival
Arriving could we survive us when
We came face to face with our fears?

Had to but would be sad had we not

So I should go is what I thought
Overcoming some fears I got rid
Of the hard way over the years
Sometimes over and over again

Going through this life was showing
Me how it does now what it would do
When life went on like it meant to
Showing it meant I should be going

Had to but would be glad I did

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 28, 2016, 11:02 pm

More or Less

My life has not turned out like I thought it would
But thinking about it turned out to be good
Not really thinking about the sky until
I was in a cage then but now I do still

And thinking about it I have understood
What went through hell came out well through less to more
Or less a secret I never knew before
I learned it more or less turned out like it should

I could have loved and laughed more hurried worried less
But more or less it turned out like it should I guess

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 26, 2016, 12:44 am

Not Again

The young are told by the old now is then
Stand still and stay tuned say turn back to back when
You were still buying until you were sold
Lying they say time now for then again still
A few complying will be sold to do as told

I am old too but I am not like that
To "stand athwart history yelling stop" and
Refusing to lose now then winning at
Getting people choosing to misunderstand
Willfully keep the sheep skillfully in their fold
Our time is now they say but it has been
And having been then not to be now again

What anybody knows about today
Is it is not about to be yesterday
Being how many I have been and may
Be say now is what is seeing then is what
Is not anything that is but is what is not

I remember then because I was there
Through those years of history the mystery
To me was how the fearful came to be
Too easy to scare when I became aware
Of a strange fear of change then in the air
When it was then the old now dead skillfully
Willfully misled the fearful headed nowhere

Now for the living or then for the dead
Time never turned back ever learned to stand still
Went forward as if sent relentlessly
Though then never meant to now went on ahead
Realized in the real time of reality

I find time does not turn back but away
Now from then when then again is in its way
So whose time it is if any instead
Of many who bought then and thought it was how
To make time stand still when it will not now
Turns out to be those who learn being timely
To know when seeing then to say no not again

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 16, 2016, 7:54 pm

The Family Plot

We have a family plot
And by this I do not
Mean paranoia but graves
Where a family saves
Spaces in places for their dead

But I sold mine instead
So no space in place for me
Not to be so to be
Just what I must do somehow
Having to be immortal now

Written out of the plot by
Being too poor to die
Every day is a bonus
Day free of the onus
Of day-to-day mortality

But should reality
Someday at last disagree
At least my family
Is not in Fairhaven where
Their plot is not to be their lot

Where they were never really
Neither will I be there
What makes reality real
Takes us elsewhere who feel
Together still for everywhere

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 15, 2016, 3:42 pm

Gardenia Weather

My mother wore gardenias in her hair
From the bush in front of the front porch there
At 145 North Cleveland Street when
My grandma floated them like sailboats in
Bowls of cool water in the shadows of
The dining room windows smelling like love

In the summer when I was a child and
School was about to get out I was glad
A 1958 Packard would wait
With Grandpa packed from Yuma at the gate
Though they were all mad they were not all bad
I wondered then but now I understand

The family that had me that I had
Together in gardenia weather then

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 13, 2016, 7:21 pm

My Mailman

My mailman always calls me boss
And volunteered to never toss
My packages over the gate
But first to honk and then to wait

When we first met and never yet
Forgot but brought what he did not
Forget was thoughtful as he thought
He ought and brings the things I get

What sent that went across the sea
To cross the desert presently
Presents a pleasant present when
He waits out at the gate again

Someone who knows about what goes
But comes around and I suppose
I sent what went but found its way
As what my mailman brought today

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 11, 2016, 9:02 pm

The Unexpected Kiss

Myself and I agreed with me
When I myself said to me let
It be what has not happened yet
Let it be and let us let it

To let it be is to get free
Of second-guessed reality
The table set for guests unmet
As yet whose fate is wait and see
Thankful to be at the banquet

When not to be was not to be
We left not to be behind us
To be though it was not what we
Expected kept an open mind

Where I myself find me to find
One mind though open found unsound
But mindful my hopeful heart found
Love knows what goes comes back around
The unexpected kiss that is
What this is when we let it be

When this is it then it is this
So this is why but also how
To be for me or not and miss
My chance when I see this is it
Having outlived to outlove now

Let it be and let us be too
This life to love and give and get
Through the rest to the best who let
It be what has not happened yet

When this is it then this is what
It is to be do we or not
Accept the unexpected kiss
Expecting us let it find us?
To be may be to say we do

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 7, 2016, 10:47 pm

Thank You Anyway

Thank you universe
Or whoever you
Whatever who may be
Out there somewhere
Whatever they call
You or God after all
Afar like a star

It could have been worse
Though maybe you knew
And that was you with me
When I was out there
Then but got through
Where maybe you were too
So maybe you are

Be that as it may
Thank you anyway

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 6, 2016, 6:21 pm

Garbage Truck in Paradise

A garbage truck is snorting
Careening and cavorting
Up the hill and seems to fall
Back but gets there after all

Garbage truck in Paradise
Valley up the alleyway
Once a week that seems like twice
Up it goes but knows the way

It always seems like it will
Not get back to the landfill
Doing what it cannot but
Still it does no matter what

Once like twice when it is nice
Once it does then goes away
Garbage truck in Paradise
Valley up the alleyway

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 4, 2016, 10:34 pm

This Minute

On an ultrabright blue day
I am out in it to win it and may
As out here as I am in
This minute how I win it now this way

Ready for spring to begin
Although unsteady hanging on again
So maybe I may as well stay
As far gone as my nearby star here then

One with the sun when life goes on
For only this once before it is gone
How I win now I am in
This minute of an ultrabright blue day

Steven Curtis Lance

Apr 1, 2016, 9:09 am



The razor wire was on the inside
Of the cage and there was the joke
A suicide I thought I had died
But in the cage is where I woke

The top and sides were made of chainlink
But the razor wire made me think

And if I lived and I stayed inside
I was paid cigarettes to smoke
Prescription labels on the outside
From the inside since I was broke

Face to the sky through the chainlink then
But the razor wire was facing in


The orderlies never beat me
In the lockdown psych ward
Though I teased one about his hair

I was already old
So all they ever did was scold
And tried but failed to scare

I never got the yellow board
They tied us to when there
And then they got disorderly

But not on me because
Being a suicide I was
No fun not one to care

They never took me away
Because I was anyway


And here I am in Paradise
Valley anyway
Where it really is pretty nice
On a bright blue day

Apparently supposed to be
Or so I suppose
One of those things I guess like me
That goes on and goes
And what it all means heaven knows
I wish it would share

But then again I could be there
On this bright blue day
Could find myself in Paradise
Valley anyway

Steven Curtis Lance

Mar 28, 2016, 8:29 pm

Unfashionably Unfascist

Fascism is in fashion now
But not for me
The opposite of free not how
I want to be

Not one of those so I oppose
What heaven knows
I see them hail out on the trail
I pray they fail

Unfashionably unfascist
As I lived I
Live by love and until I die
By love still free

Albeit unfashionably
I will resist

Steven Curtis Lance

Mar 24, 2016, 11:00 pm

A Circa 1963 TV

Across the desert floor I see
A circa 1963 TV
Consumed by some consumer and
Landing beside a cactus in the sand
To ride the sun into this land
Standing in for Venus on an old show

And I could understand that though
I think it looks more like Mars as far as
Whatever other world it was
But it was this one that looks otherwise

Seen on TV by other eyes
In 1963 and it could be
This circa 1963
TV across the desert floor from me
Was how they saw that show back when
Consumed now resumed on Venus again

Or on its stand-in now as then
A circa 1963 TV

Steven Curtis Lance

Mar 19, 2016, 10:01 pm


The tick-tock of the clockwork of me
As the wind blows through the bronchial tree
Assures me how the machinery
Still does now what it was supposed to do
So long ago and all along through
So many ins and outs and ticks and tocks
And through the shocks of a few hard knocks

I keep going because it does until
Gone when I will go on then but still
It goes although all those years behind me
And shows that it goes to remind me
How between heartbeats now before this breath
In between to be and not to be
I find the meaning between life and death

So the machine goes on until gone
And so I go too then I will go on

Steven Curtis Lance

Mar 15, 2016, 8:22 pm

In the In Between

for my fellow artist Franziska

What I always wanted to do I tried
To and did so I am satisfied
To be doing what I knew I should when
I did then and now would do again
Doing what I do like I knew I could
Being an artist to be understood

When the unspoken that may not be said
Is spoken in the in between instead
Between us where we find what we mean

The only way we lonely ones like me
Find each other across the divide
One from another to the other side
Like sparks through the dark we arc to be
Understood and when we are it feels good
To be and to know we did what we could

Between two stars as we fall through the sky
The meaning between us when you and I
Find what we mean in the in between

I find myself too by finding you
Doing what we always wanted to do

Steven Curtis Lance

Mar 10, 2016, 7:36 pm


Through incidental sadness
Of being day to day
To transcendental gladness
Of being anyway
From pole to pole of madness
I journey through the week
Being glad today to say
Transcending as we speak

Steven Curtis Lance

Mar 8, 2016, 8:20 pm

My Star as Far as I Can See

for Franziska

You are far away and I am too
But here we are anyway you
And me pinking with propinquity
Thinking with specificity
In an embrace across time and space
Alongside along the long way

Stronger for having gone the wrong way
The hard way better exercise
The letting go to embrace surprise
Face to face gone through having gone
On to be and do and to go on
A journey that is not a race
But unites us in spite of it all

And it was you as I recall
As it is now and as it will be
For the rest of my destiny
I suppose and who knows but I do
Who daresay it is fair to say
Though far away we are anyway

Sometimes it seems like dreams come true
And when they do then like now I see
The best of destiny to me
Is you though far away and me too
It was always you after all
Out of the blue and into my heart
To be a part of me apart

The best of the rest of me is you
My star as far as I can see

Steven Curtis Lance

Feb 26, 2016, 6:51 pm

Minding What Matters

Along the way it gets so existential
So you notice though it always was
Gets pretty real here along toward the end
When lots of things I thought were not essential
Got essential after all because
Falling what mattered was calling a friend

When it all shattered wondering what
It mattered understanding it did not
Shattered a friend is what mattered then

Late in the season listening to reason
More than before though late in the day
Never mind forever now find how to
Get what gets to get through a change of season
Letting it rearrange you get who
You are what you got so far anyway

Minding what matters late in the game
Finding a friend to remember your name
If you are lucky like I have been

Steven Curtis Lance

Feb 24, 2016, 6:58 pm

Turns Out

Once someone loved me at least for awhile
And then she did not but I can smile
Alone and on my own to remember
April again when in December

Not minding if she forgot me because
Remembering how stupid I was
The funny thing now to me is how we
Thought it would be for eternity

Once someone loved me at least she did then
And when she did not I thought again
Loving and losing someone learning how
Eternity turns out to be now

Steven Curtis Lance


Displaying Poems 176 thru 200 of 2843 Poems

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