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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1651 thru 1675 of 2787 Poems

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Aug 9, 2007, 8:20 am


Going Your Way

Riding on the razor's edge of always
I enjoy thoughtfully balancing days
And nights of suns and moons which rise and set
Black velvet nights of stars are best of all

When time comes let it be then that I fall
The days and nights and suns and moons forget
But stars remember everything they see
And they are almost as lonely as me

Someone once told me I was a star but
Looking in the glass now I cannot say
I seem like any sort of star today
And wonder as much of why as of what

If you should read these words someday please know
I loved you long ago as best I could
But I think now you might have understood
And might just take me with you when you go

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Aug 6, 2007, 11:38 pm


Love Song

If I cannot imagine it how
Can it be my imagination?

It happened and I remember now
That crystalline realization
Of the fairest fondest fantasy
My twice-born second incarnation
Ever dared to dream to live to see
Expecting nothing and hoping less
As a shadow of the former me
A sinner with nothing to confess

But I touched her and then: she touched me

At the climax of my life I guess
I am always surprised on the way
To wherever it is I journey to
The only place I want to go is you
The one and only day we have today

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Aug 6, 2007, 12:04 am


A Convicted Man Confesses

I find myself embarrassed by my hair
Not by that which I have but rather by
That part of it which seems no longer there
And orients my temples to the sky

But when it all grows back from summer's buzz
In familiar forgiving disarray
All will fall into place the way it was

Until the next impulsive summer day

I might as well forget it now because
The next impulse will be a year away
I will wash and comb whatever I can

When in summer I buzz my hair I say:

"This looked better as a boy than a man
Before all those coerced 'yes'es
A convicted man confesses"

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Aug 4, 2007, 7:59 pm


One Summer Moment

Snapshot captured by an enraptured eye
Moment of meeting forever fleeting
But never to be forgotten (ever)

I will remember you until I die
And send you my beating heart in greeting
If only I were handsome or clever
Would you then remember me as I you?

You may forget me yet do not let me
I will remember you just as I do
The most beautiful face I ever saw

After the winter of a broken heart
Your brown eyes melted me like a spring thaw
Summer to autumn then let winter start
You will be with me to keep my heart warm

You have altered something inside of me
You took me by the thunderbolt by storm
Your smile shines inside me like destiny

I cannot forget nor do I regret
That there will never be someone like you
I may be a fool (I may be) and yet
How can I forget once a dream came true?

Remember me as you grow and go on
And one summer moment ...already gone

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Aug 3, 2007, 1:45 am


For Natasha

In the hush of a heart healed while broken
Where scar tissue scabs the stump of the lost
In disappointed silence brooding there
As a phantom reproach for what it cost
Sighs a pain without breath to be spoken
Except by one who knows and dares to care

Dare we care enough to know and come near
Enough to bridge this breach from soul to soul?

Our jagged edges meet their matched mates here
In a form of which the heart is token
When two face and fit as halves into whole
Stars like diamond teardrops weep soft rain
To shake the opaque and to make it clear
That the sweetest sounds in the silence of
The hidden hurt shaped like a heart remain
Soft knittings toward the unity of love

Forgotten fades the memory of pain
For long lost halves becoming whole again

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 30, 2007, 10:13 pm


Fiat Lux (if just a little for now)!

The junta has settled its hash with me
Having conceded I am quite insane
For eight fifty-six a month USD

They posit they will pester me no more
Nor knock up my doctor with those inane
Questionnaires which quantify sanity
And leave behind their torments tried before
To drive me to the homeless life outside

I won by loss but heaven knows they tried
To huff and puff and stuff me stubbornly
Since nothing succeeds like excess I guess

Still I exceeded them in stubbornness
Remaining insane with my damaged brain
Documented so meticulously
That though all else is lost here I remain
Stuck in the safety net one of the few
Who gets to live indoors almost like you

In five to seven years they might check back
But the neo-cons will have gone by then
Their junta hounded haunted by Iraq

I will be among the forgotten men
A raggedy-man at the end of time
With stubbornness stupid enough to stay
Here to obsess by syllable and rhyme
With eight fifty-six a month USD
Which creditors make haste to take away
But creditors never take poetry

Muddling through madness yet muddling somehow
Fiat Lux (if just a little for now)!

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 28, 2007, 9:37 pm


Family Skeleton

He ravaged his daughter castrated his son
Was he a Neanderthal? Yes he was one
I know since I tasted his dark mystery
The family skeleton used to be me

The good ones all died and left me alone
To begin life when I thought it was done
And would have been if somehow I had known
The rest of it but then we never know

Yet it was interesting in its way
They tell me it might get better too so
Not having much say about things I stay
To try and live some life before I go

I wonder if it ever gets too late
For a happy-ever-after to be
Within the pale of possibility
Or are some of us prisoners of fate?

Failing to grasp the meaning of it all
I need nonetheless to keep on trying
Saving new tears till old finish drying
Trying not to be a Neanderthal

Consoling myself however I can
Life after death if not love after hate
I wait for someone to appreciate
A rather old-fashioned postmodern man

It will never be worse whatever will be
Than when the family skeleton was me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 27, 2007, 9:19 pm


Between Now and Never

What did it cost?
No less than everything
It all went bad
Nothing left but a ring
And I know how you feel
Because I am like you
It happened to me
Little boy lost

Will this wound ever heal?
What they said was not true
Little boy sad
What was taken away
Is not lost forever
Just look around
There is always today
And now you are free

Little boy found
It happens to be
That we are both free
Between now and never

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 25, 2007, 9:48 pm


Left Unknown

No stranger to pain myself it seems odd
That being hurt or hurting should seem fun
To friends and lovers or to anyone

I hear much less of Masoch than of Sade
But find a bit of both in everyone
And rather more of Satan than of God

Some have a little more of one I guess
Than the other yet neither pleases me

Without much experience to confess
And not quite sure what to be pleased might be
With little to go on I must admit

I wonder could I get the hang of it
Or are some things just better left unknown
To neither hurt nor hurting sleep alone?

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 24, 2007, 8:23 pm


The Fall of the House of No

The braying bullies of the House of No
Now chastened just a little toward the last
Though blind as ever sense they soon must go
Back beneath bleak rocks and into the past
Yet followed by their failures even there

Too blind to repent still they must relent
With cries for jail and justice in the air
Resentment like a lightning bolt strikes home
Mutinous murderous mad from the wars
A republic turned imperial Rome

The pimps are more to blame than are their whores

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 23, 2007, 7:58 pm


From the Leading Edge of Always

The papers on my clipboard are impressed
By other poems written other days
As slightly rumpled they wait to be dressed
With lines from the leading edge of always
Which frighteningly is where I write now
My sharpened pencil drawing out the day
As present limitations may allow
To face the future presently and say
The past has been survived no matter how
Becoming the impressions of today
Atop the indentations of the past
The scarrings one might say the ones which last

I write the best I can and then move on
To leave behind my pencil's footprints here
Another page and another day gone
The future beckoning the present near
To hear a secret heretofore unknown
A tantalizing by-product of dawn
But when the morning comes I am alone
As slightly rumpled I wait to be dressed
The papers on my clipboard unimpressed

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 22, 2007, 10:32 pm


Shadow

A surfeit of so-called society
With all its control and complication
Seems smothering in its ubiquity
I choose to live like an island nation
Albeit one uninhabited by
Anybody else but my cat and me

Leave us in peace and quiet Fred and I
And convene community on your own
Let terms of individuality
Apply to us as we commune alone

I am a recluse with a good excuse
Surprises make me nervous simply said
I will see people when I am ready
But to be interrupted seems abuse
Makes my house-of-cards psyche unsteady
And generally seems of little use

When I feel in the mood I clean up well
But with my books and cat find all I need
Too many people often seem Sartre's hell
As they rut and riot and feud and feed

I like it when my poetry is read
And like to read myself now and again
I hope to still be read when I am dead
Of course it will not matter to me then
Still I suppose one seeks to leave one's mark
If only as a shadow in the dark

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 21, 2007, 10:38 pm


Anything

With a sharp pencil and a cup of tea
One can very nearly do anything

If someone somehow could compromise me
That I should be a yo-yo on a string
I would cut that string by sharp poetry
That compromisers come to know the sting
Of the truth spoken albeit in love
Though love disappointed by suffering
A love tried by fire thus unafraid of
Anything so embracing everything

With a sharp pencil and a cup of tea
A chiseled nib and ink like coffee or
Cuneiform and what was tea before
One can very nearly do anything

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 19, 2007, 10:53 pm


An Erstwhile Undiscovered Part of Me

I woke this morning to remember that
Impulsively I shaved my head last night

Where my hair used to be my head is white
With the outline remaining where it was
So now I am rummaging for a hat
To avoid sunburn and embarrassment

Those who see will think it must be chemo
Or some other good reason my hair went
On holiday so suddenly one day

Questioning people will question the cause
For this effect some cause I might not know
Yet it is without question gone away

Is it too late at last to stimulate
Its growth by such a radical shearing
Or is that an old wives' tale out of date
Which might but hasten its disappearing?

What if like Samson I have lost my strength
And might not be able to write about
This experience as I would like to?

This act might have planted some seed of doubt
I feel strangely shy to share it with you

My hair is all exactly the same length
Which is to say it has no length at all
But at least this happened in summer's heat

And it will all be grown back in the fall
To stand at attention bristlingly neat

Till then I take this opportunity
Having abandoned my search for a hat
Open to the sky if not knowing why
To be all me no more nor less than that

To open my mind and to ventilate
An erstwhile undiscovered part of me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 18, 2007, 12:58 am


My Mother the Moon and Me

When my mother came to die
She never wore her glasses anymore
Sometimes now neither do I
Since there is little to see but the door
Yet beyond this waits the sky

I mostly wear my glasses for the moon
To search its surface for a face
Familiar to me to see again soon
Found in the sky the fond embrace
Of one I loved and lost who went before

One who is loved is never lost
The moon is high but not too high
Open the door nor count the cost
What waxes must wane
To wax yet again

My mother is smiling tonight and I
Am ready to live to die and to rise
My mother's son now a child of the sky
I take off my glasses and realize
All I need to see is here within me

Closer than the moon and nearer than soon
Right here right now I am risen and free

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 16, 2007, 5:25 pm


For You

They ask me "is there someone?" There is not:
There once was someone but then she forgot
About us and how much she meant to me
I loved her blindly so I could not see
That she had stopped loving me long ago
Maybe I was the last one to know...

For all I know there could be someone now
Loving me softly (secretly!) tonight
Who is waiting for when the time is right
To tell me except she is not sure how
That she started loving me long ago
Maybe I am the last one to know...

What if we wish tonight on this same star
Under this same moon as we wait for "soon"?
Come out love... come out... wherever you are...
I will wait forever if I have to
Until we are one with our star our moon
And until then be lonely: for you

(Come out love... come out... wherever you are...)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 15, 2007, 9:29 pm


Essence

After so many years here we are now
I for one never thought I would make it
Always thinking I would die young somehow

Life seemed so hard once! "How could I take it
For all those years we are expected to?"
I asked knowing I could never fake it
The way middle-aged people did (and do)
But as it turned out it was not half bad

"Getting there is half the fun" as they say
And all of those catastrophes I had
Seem more like adventures along the way
Looking back... and forward: into your eyes

I see I am still me reflected here
The essence of who we are never dies
As I find myself in your eyes today
The same as I was except for the fear
Which time like the tide has polished away

It took me a long time to realize
But I am here to live and to love you
I hope that as you live you love me too

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 14, 2007, 11:13 pm


Freedom of Thought Would Give You Wings

die Gedanken sind frei

What is it you are looking for?
Who lives and loves needs nothing more

If you open your eyes to see
And open your mind you will find
All that you need here close at hand
Your nose points forward not behind
And outward to infinity
Enjoy it then and understand
Contentment waits in simple things

If only you would flap and fly
Freedom of thought would give you wings
To live it up with lift you high
And make your life a lot more fun

Let go and give yourself a chance
For life has always just begun
Forget your fears and join the dance
Of living loving laughing life

Love me and you and everyone
Break free of argument and strife
And see how easy life can be
If you can find the magic in
The daily commonality
Without or if you choose within
The things surrounding you and me

And if you get lost or get bored
Turn in or outward till you see
The wonders of the unexplored
Unnoticed you can have for free

Whatever you are looking for
Make love to me as I to you
And let us taste of what is true
Who lives and loves needs nothing more

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 13, 2007, 10:24 pm


The Heart Knows Better

Belief bespeaks higher reality
The heart knows better than what the eyes see

Each breath I take becomes an act of faith
The beating of my heart the rhythm of
Life and nothing less unafraid of death
That ultimate we give the name of love

To live and to love we are called were made
And so we will be our hearts lifted high
We who have no reason to be afraid
Will live and love freely as time goes by

As time falls away irrelevant to
The manifestation of our dreams here
The living of me the loving of you
As we soar into always leaving fear
Behind in the dust as we know we must

And oh what free flight it is when we soar
Higher and further beyond everything
Which ever held us down to soar the more
As the rhythm of life beats and we sing
Of freedom and transcendence past the care
Beyond not caring through the open sky

Through the open air into everywhere
Without even pausing to say goodbye
To the chains and their stains we left behind
Ascending to life which never need die
The life of love of universal mind

Belief bespeaks higher reality
The heart knows better than what the eyes see

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 11, 2007, 8:59 pm


Acceptance

The days are growing shorter but
Now I embrace that which must be
At shortened sunsets dreaming what
These shortened days might hold for me

The nights are growing longer yet
The moon shines brighter than ever
Since I let go of time to let
Myself into now from never

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 9, 2007, 10:21 pm


Somebody Worth Loving?

The music stopped the echo died away
Dried and dessicated as the husk of
A flower which once meant everything to
The person I used to be yesterday

How rich I was then surrounded by love!
Now all I have left are these words for you
I hope you will take them from my thin hand
From what is left of me and understand

I used to be somebody did you know?
But none of that matters anymore now
I just want to be forgiven then go
And have you remember me well somehow

I love you with what is left of my heart
My body and my soul love you as one
Who wants to make you smile before they part
And kiss my closed eyes when my soul has gone

I might have a month I might have a year
All I know is I am with you today
What is left of me shorn of fame and fear
But before I go I just want to say

Thank you for being so kind to me
Thank you for understanding me how
I did the best that I could to be
Somebody worth loving ...loving you now

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 8, 2007, 3:43 am


The Veil and the Vision

Waiting by the water for the fire to fall
I look forward to beginning my journey

Though I may never go anywhere at all
At something like sunset the journey takes me

Where I might be journeying I never know
Till it happens and maybe not even then

I have to be patient to go and not go
I have to be ready for the moment when
The fire falls and unseen hands spirit away
The veil which customarily wraps my eyes
And which makes a starless moonless night of day
The removal of which makes me realize
How much of the time how little I can see
But it is always darkest just before dawn
While waiting for light when the veil is withdrawn

When revealed before me shines the mystery
I write it down quickly and then it is gone

But it becomes a keepsake of memory
Though the veil is restored the vision lives on

This is how poetry comes to be
At least how this poem came to me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 6, 2007, 4:10 am


Friends and Lovers

When two friends fall in love what does it cost?
Where something is gained is something else lost
Or does the past return to leave afraid?

Friends make better lovers than strangers could
When everyone we meet lives as the star
Of his or her own opera and they are
Through conjugation by the bed unmade
As they purport to purchases unpaid
Psychodramatic traumatic not fun

With friends conversation is understood
As something like a sacrament to be
As close by choice as you can be to one
Who chooses to be just as close to me

And this is how the miracle is done
By word of mouth and on a handshake for
A closeness which by choice asks nothing more
Than two friends and some curiosity
Which causes them to leave the door ajar
As friends will do in close community
For sharing compared human empathy

The step from friends to lovers is not far
The love we gain outweighs the fear we lost
In this life where life itself is the cost
Of living and loving and if one ends
We have the other one still we are friends
First and last before and after other
Roles we might play as sister and brother
Aboard the sinking ship Humanity

Our ship will not go down unless we doubt
As humans do as human as we are
But I doubt we could doubt you or doubt me
When friends become lovers and stars come out
Not just to play at our expense but stay
To make the night the best part of our day

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 2, 2007, 11:04 pm


One of Those Places

the Plaza park in my hometown

A twilit Monday quiet as any I can
Recall since an old child once turned to a young man
Who went on to become then this old child again

I walk to my customary place in the square
In the Plaza at the hub of the circle there

I consider caramel-apple suckers where
One blown-away day I sat close with another
Eating caramel-apple suckers in the rain

Now she is far away from me as yesterday
The days blow away while only their ghosts remain

This is where the others worried to my mother
About her child and thought they might take me away

And yet here I am and I listen to the train
Blowing a song about winners who lose it all
About how money can cost you your family

The water around the fountain swirls down the drain
To be drawn back up to dance the patterns I see

There are some places where it should always be fall
And this is one of those places (at least to me)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII








Jul 1, 2007, 3:18 am


Stay Hungry

What is it again we are looking for?
If we ever find it then it might be
Enough for awhile until we want more

An appetizer toward satiety
A spirit-snack as the need increases
To stimulate our curiosity

Nature abhors a vacuum nor ceases
To make hungry hunters of you and me
I hope I only find it at the end

I want to keep wandering all night long
One who has found it seems no more a friend
But smug and flaccid where I would be strong

I want to stay hungry all the way up
Or down however you choose to see it
My bowl half-empty with a half-full cup

Some ask the question but I want to be it
Some shout their answer at me but I say
I only hear their self-satisfaction

They never asked the question anyway
Distracted to unthinking inaction
By deductive reductive redaction

To those who must shout answers I say please
Look around you at our diversity
Remember there are more satieties
Than one-size-fits-all answers you would shove
Down the throats of all in the name of love

So if you love me let me disagree
I may never taste of satiety
That intoxicated sobriety
Staying hungry but curiosity
Is the food of hungry hunters like me

Although satiety might be nice
My curiosity will suffice

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVII











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