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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1651 thru 1675 of 2804 Poems

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Aug 31, 2007, 8:38 pm


If I should die before I wake
I hope before I do I make
Love with you

You may not want to be with me
Now but I hope when you are free
You hope too

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 31, 2007, 6:50 pm


The lonely lover of my soul
Who of the dust created me
That he and I might both be whole
Is source and life and destiny
My origin and yet my goal
And all I have to do is be
Reflecting as the moon the sun
The light of love by which I see
The neverending unbegun
Bow of my soul's trajectory
The spectrum shining in the air
A rainbow bridge across the sky
Where there is here and here is there
To live a love which cannot die
By which we sojourn you and I
Bound in the arms which make us free
Above the broken chains which lie
Forgotten rusting at our feet
A cross the point at which we meet
Invincible in unity

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 29, 2007, 7:01 pm


My favorite greeting is "Mind the Cows"
I feel fragile when the going gets tough
I am not very good at whys nor hows
And yet under fire seem agile enough
To have dodged danger a very long while
Wearing my mentally-disabled smile

I like drinking tea and going to sea
And I want to live in England someday
The government here is not fond of me
And might likely like me to move away
I am kind to cats I like friendly dogs
I like to hear crickets at night (and frogs)

I am afraid of ladies but love them
I love to read my poetry out loud
I love young people and have three of them
Life makes me humble but they make me proud
I have a weakness for good cigarettes
I have only bad ones but no regrets

I am as poor as a person can be
Yet am not homeless nor do I need much
I am rich in friends who care about me
I am at once both in and out of touch
I get depressed yet know that I am blessed
So "Mind the Cows" (and never mind the rest)

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 29, 2007, 4:09 am

I Chose to Live

In the end all saw his wisdom so they say
Of renunciation acceptance of fate
Will I have wisdom someone can see someday?
I reach for it hoping it is not too late
I may never get it but at least I tried
And I hope they see I lived before I died

My son my Golden Bear at Cal makes me proud
As does my other son still in high school now
The sort of pride which is quiet never loud
Yet which warms me from the inside out somehow
I may never be wise but at least I tried
And I hope they see I lived before I died

As for my daughter she is ashamed of me
Although I am just as proud of her as those
Who are proud of me and unashamed to be
The children of a father they never chose
She may never understand me but I tried
And she knows I chose to live before I died

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 28, 2007, 7:53 am


for Katherine Donovan

Come with me into the garden
I will sing a mystery
How a seed of fall and woe
Grew to become a healing tree

Garden dawn and fruit was sweet
But bitter bore the seed anon
Of that tree where good and evil's
Secrets whispered thereupon

Garden dusk received the seed
Cast down but watered by dawn's tears
That in time of deepest need
Another tree would heal the years

When the gardener came to pray
Bright drops of red fell where he knelt
He stooped and cleared the thorns away
And all their stinging sharpness felt

As his blood dropped to the earth
The seed awakened where it lay
Cruciform that healing tree
Which bloomed his resurrection day

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 27, 2007, 10:06 pm

Because Because Is

It hurts us so to be misunderstood
I hope you found what you were looking for
That is if you remember what it was
It hurts to reach so hard yet not be good
Enough (and then to only reach the more)

And when we cry we find out just because
But what because is we may never know
Except to be together as we go

Wash me in the river! Wash me away!

It hurt me so to be misunderstood
I never found what I was looking for
Nor can I now remember what it was

I enter another river today
But this is where I entered once before

Take me home river! Take me take away!

Because because is what we never know
Except to be together as we go

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 27, 2007, 4:12 am

Nightfall in the Garden

for my friends Steve and Amber

I sacrifice my loneliness to you
I offer it wrapped in my hollow heart
Since lonely dreams lifted only come true
When hope learns trust so the healing can start

Lifting empty hands is all I can do
When the heart is pure and the only cure
Is reaching the impossible by faith
Through unrelenting striving toward the light
As from the struggle love brings life from death
Beneath the stars where flowers bloom in the night

I stand at nightfall in the garden now
Back from this morning a lifetime ago
To find such light as the dark will allow
At last I believe and soon I will know

Lifting empty hands is all I can do
I sacrifice my loneliness to you

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 25, 2007, 7:16 pm

My Own Universe

a sonnet

Never again! I must never depend
Upon another for my happiness
Elusive as it is as I suspend
Between what I deny and I confess

It is just I need so to be loved and
Find it is so impossible to be
If you cannot love me then understand
This aspect of my human frailty

I wish I could be utterly alone
Yet that is not what I want in the end
But rather to be known as I am known
My want and wish is that I had a friend

Now just as always for better or worse
I keep to myself my own universe

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 25, 2007, 7:17 am

Sibling Rivalry

That which you wish with to impress
We mere who wait our quite-late bus
Soul-seen by us serves to express
The truth that you are one of us

Carried now you command a car
Combative as you sit too high
Though lost and falling like a star
You smile by smirk and sidle by
Commanding from your armored tank

You smirk and pass we smile and sigh
To know (unlike you?) whom to thank
That we are nothing less than you
Though how and why you might deny
Despite this we are human too
Resolved in our mere way to try

Not high nor low just you and me
We live and dream alike then die
We are now and will always be
Not high nor low just you and I

Siblings of the same family
Sequestered by our rivalry

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 23, 2007, 2:46 am

Each One a Star

People ask "who am I?" and I say "You"
(I am "Me"): let the answered question shine
The questioned answer manifest to see
That we are who we are and that is fine
With me and I trust you find it fine too
As we agree to be (or not to be)

One-shoe-dropped awaiting the other shoe
We tend to forget in the to-and-fro
Within all our inscrutability
We share a knowing grin behind our face

Beneath the skin we all are much the same
Our differential specificity
Intended to our credit not our blame
So let us live it up and down with grace

On fundamental questions we agree
And hope to have some fun before we go
As we cooperate to play this game
Of life which we win by having been born
From bud to full-blown bloom effectively
Surviving the rose and also the thorn
Ferreting out the false to find the true

We never have much time we never know
Embodying Socratic irony
We learn but to find out we never knew
But have been are and will be even so

Recycling most things creating a few
Our thoughts have wings our best ideas are free
And if to be (or not to be) we are
Within our galaxy each one a star

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 21, 2007, 9:22 pm

Birthday Song for Teddy

for my son born 21 August 1990

Clutching a moment which could be the last
Since moments scrabble and dribble away
Like sand sifting through this glass of today
To join their fallen fellows in the past
Which were and are no more but had their say
And still remember what they might have been
Before and after left lonely between
I hide within my hand what cannot stay
An ice cube melting running down my wrist

Why must I be an existentialist?

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 19, 2007, 11:34 pm

Here We Are

We are kept from knowing our future quite
Simply because it never happens yet

We remember what happens (and what might
Have been seems even harder to forget)

And for the moment which time will allow
We live all we can in what we call now

So here we are shaken thrown together:

To find ourselves in each other somehow
Through trial trouble terrible weather
But also the shining fortunate day

To make our lives of whatever comes by
We put our heads together so to say
And bridge the gap between us you and I

Nor would I have it any other way

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 19, 2007, 5:49 pm


I have never seen anyone like her before
I thought these weary eyes had seen it all by now
But they had only seen less of what she is more
She has always been and will always be somehow
Before and after what is gained but to be lost
Above and below those things which come but to go
Never mind what time it is nor what it might cost
I have to take her chance or I will never know

She bears within herself such grace and such supreme
Delight to sight and spirit to seem more a dream
Than anything seen in waking reality
Nothing less than the desire of my dreaming soul
She both embodies and inspires my poetry
And makes the broken pieces of my heart come whole
The first time in as many years as she has been
Or has she been forever here inside of me?

Knowing nothing I believe she knows what I mean:
I have to take her chance before I have to go

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 17, 2007, 9:13 am

Good Enough

Go ahead and judge me but you are wrong
You call me a "trainwreck" and look at you:

Your fuse too short your memory too long
For there to be anything I can do
To ventilate your airtight narrowness

So now I no longer bother to try

Giving up relieves me but I confess
I feel sorry for that pussy-whipped guy
Who strains against your strictures nonetheless

I know what it feels like to try to be
What you judge as Good Enough and I guess
I should be glad Good Enough is not me

So see you later kid be perfect now
(Perfectly miserable we both know)
Without you I feel Good Enough somehow

Good luck (and you need it) until you grow
Enough to know imperfect is the way
Of you me and the pussy-whipped as well

Since you will never hear a word I say
This "trainwreck" bids a silent "go to hell"

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 15, 2007, 1:01 pm

Plausible Deniability

A sorrow someone silently might bear
A lifetime and still silent disappear
Before someone else knows someone was there
This sort of thing happens all the time here
Coldness as common as kindness is rare
Disappointment so deep it feels like fear
Redolent of that reluctance to care
One finds where absence never seems to go
And presence seems determined not to share

Where bad news is always the first to know
And seems to serve to chase good news away
When tears are too fast with laughter too slow
Seeming unseemly seemingly hollow
And night is not relieved by dawning day
One peevishly partners the other so
That each is interrupted in its way
Where neither may lead nor either follow
But since the dance will not end simply stay

In stalemate like old ice beneath new snow
And so till all is silent everywhere

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 13, 2007, 11:43 pm


This heartbeat this breath this eye-blink of God
This interstitial instant which we are!

An angel's kiss a mother's knowing nod
(A father's disappointment even so)
Sacred memory of a falling star
To always remember if never know

We ride astride the comet's tail to be
An evening's entertainment from afar
A moment streaked across the evening sky
A diamond dropping through blue velvet night

This now which is then forever to me
Having gone blind to discover my sight
An orgasm imprisoned in a sigh
The meaning of the meaningful is she

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 12, 2007, 3:00 am

Within the Rose

I was taught God made us because he was lonely
And that our lot is to enjoy him forever
Though in no position to complain I only
Hope he will keep me out of trouble and never
Tire of me nor become bored with my company

So far so good but for the nightly frightening
But then like a cat I always land on my feet
If shaken stirred by darkness to the brightening
Dawn of shared understanding with others I meet

In sum it seems this life is an education
A learning excursion I would enjoy again
Having learned the key to it is ...resignation...
Which knowledge makes it easier to bear the pain
Demarcating the essential separation
Between the creator and we who created
The separation in the first place I suppose

Yet I enjoy creator and created too
As separation becomes less demarcated
In answer to a question none created knows
Nor do I need to know while I am here with you
Where both question and answer bloom within the rose

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 9, 2007, 8:20 am

Going Your Way

Riding on the razor's edge of always
I enjoy thoughtfully balancing days
And nights of suns and moons which rise and set
Black velvet nights of stars are best of all

When time comes let it be then that I fall
The days and nights and suns and moons forget
But stars remember everything they see
And they are almost as lonely as me

Someone once told me I was a star but
Looking in the glass now I cannot say
I seem like any sort of star today
And wonder as much of why as of what

If you should read these words someday please know
I loved you long ago as best I could
But I think now you might have understood
And might just take me with you when you go

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 6, 2007, 11:38 pm

Love Song

If I cannot imagine it how
Can it be my imagination?

It happened and I remember now
That crystalline realization
Of the fairest fondest fantasy
My twice-born second incarnation
Ever dared to dream to live to see
Expecting nothing and hoping less
As a shadow of the former me
A sinner with nothing to confess

But I touched her and then: she touched me

At the climax of my life I guess
I am always surprised on the way
To wherever it is I journey to
The only place I want to go is you
The one and only day we have today

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 6, 2007, 12:04 am

A Convicted Man Confesses

I find myself embarrassed by my hair
Not by that which I have but rather by
That part of it which seems no longer there
And orients my temples to the sky

But when it all grows back from summer's buzz
In familiar forgiving disarray
All will fall into place the way it was

Until the next impulsive summer day

I might as well forget it now because
The next impulse will be a year away
I will wash and comb whatever I can

When in summer I buzz my hair I say:

"This looked better as a boy than a man
Before all those coerced 'yes'es
A convicted man confesses"

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 4, 2007, 7:59 pm

One Summer Moment

Snapshot captured by an enraptured eye
Moment of meeting forever fleeting
But never to be forgotten (ever)

I will remember you until I die
And send you my beating heart in greeting
If only I were handsome or clever
Would you then remember me as I you?

You may forget me yet do not let me
I will remember you just as I do
The most beautiful face I ever saw

After the winter of a broken heart
Your brown eyes melted me like a spring thaw
Summer to autumn then let winter start
You will be with me to keep my heart warm

You have altered something inside of me
You took me by the thunderbolt by storm
Your smile shines inside me like destiny

I cannot forget nor do I regret
That there will never be someone like you
I may be a fool (I may be) and yet
How can I forget once a dream came true?

Remember me as you grow and go on
And one summer moment ...already gone

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Aug 3, 2007, 1:45 am

For Natasha

In the hush of a heart healed while broken
Where scar tissue scabs the stump of the lost
In disappointed silence brooding there
As a phantom reproach for what it cost
Sighs a pain without breath to be spoken
Except by one who knows and dares to care

Dare we care enough to know and come near
Enough to bridge this breach from soul to soul?

Our jagged edges meet their matched mates here
In a form of which the heart is token
When two face and fit as halves into whole
Stars like diamond teardrops weep soft rain
To shake the opaque and to make it clear
That the sweetest sounds in the silence of
The hidden hurt shaped like a heart remain
Soft knittings toward the unity of love

Forgotten fades the memory of pain
For long lost halves becoming whole again

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Jul 30, 2007, 10:13 pm

Fiat Lux (if just a little for now)!

The junta has settled its hash with me
Having conceded I am quite insane
For eight fifty-six a month USD

They posit they will pester me no more
Nor knock up my doctor with those inane
Questionnaires which quantify sanity
And leave behind their torments tried before
To drive me to the homeless life outside

I won by loss but heaven knows they tried
To huff and puff and stuff me stubbornly
Since nothing succeeds like excess I guess

Still I exceeded them in stubbornness
Remaining insane with my damaged brain
Documented so meticulously
That though all else is lost here I remain
Stuck in the safety net one of the few
Who gets to live indoors almost like you

In five to seven years they might check back
But the neo-cons will have gone by then
Their junta hounded haunted by Iraq

I will be among the forgotten men
A raggedy-man at the end of time
With stubbornness stupid enough to stay
Here to obsess by syllable and rhyme
With eight fifty-six a month USD
Which creditors make haste to take away
But creditors never take poetry

Muddling through madness yet muddling somehow
Fiat Lux (if just a little for now)!

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Jul 28, 2007, 9:37 pm

Family Skeleton

He ravaged his daughter castrated his son
Was he a Neanderthal? Yes he was one
I know since I tasted his dark mystery
The family skeleton used to be me

The good ones all died and left me alone
To begin life when I thought it was done
And would have been if somehow I had known
The rest of it but then we never know

Yet it was interesting in its way
They tell me it might get better too so
Not having much say about things I stay
To try and live some life before I go

I wonder if it ever gets too late
For a happy-ever-after to be
Within the pale of possibility
Or are some of us prisoners of fate?

Failing to grasp the meaning of it all
I need nonetheless to keep on trying
Saving new tears till old finish drying
Trying not to be a Neanderthal

Consoling myself however I can
Life after death if not love after hate
I wait for someone to appreciate
A rather old-fashioned postmodern man

It will never be worse whatever will be
Than when the family skeleton was me

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII

Jul 27, 2007, 9:19 pm

Between Now and Never

What did it cost?
No less than everything
It all went bad
Nothing left but a ring
And I know how you feel
Because I am like you
It happened to me
Little boy lost

Will this wound ever heal?
What they said was not true
Little boy sad
What was taken away
Is not lost forever
Just look around
There is always today
And now you are free

Little boy found
It happens to be
That we are both free
Between now and never

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMVII


Displaying Poems 1651 thru 1675 of 2804 Poems

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