I questioned the clock but It struck me as it stuck To its tick-tock story That it never knew what It was ticking about
So why should I worry About what something thought Which never stops to think Tick-tocking to the brink?
I went away without The certainty of time I know what it will say Tomorrow as today A pleasant mocking chime
It cannot stop to ask But answers on the hour Relentless in its task Mechanical with power
Ordering the lives of Those who are not in love
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 20, 2005, 8:33 pm
Out There Where the Sun is Shining
There is hope for me and I can feel it Tears to diamonds refining Destiny unfolding to reveal it Out there where the sun is shining I can make a deal with fate and seal it With a kiss forever just like this
I can see my life is changing Healing growing rearranging Things are looking up for me and so Wish me luck my friends now as I go Tears to diamonds refining Where it shines out there for me I know:
Out there where the sun is shining
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 20, 2005, 2:47 pm
Transcendental Sonnet #1411: April Come December
Forgiving is easy forgetting is not Some people tell me and they say it is true Your life has shattered now and a jagged shard Is all you have left now so what have you got?
From one shard to another both things are hard Nor do I have a clever answer for you I cannot explain but I can share your pain Because it is my own: you are not alone
Forgiving and forgetting cannot be done Without the grace of God the forgiving one But we remember April come December And when these my words you see remember me
April come December souvenirs of spring In the dark days we remember everything
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 19, 2005, 7:34 pm
Sorrow's End
You ask me to forgive you I cannot I am doomed to relive you
You forgot Me but it is so hard to Forget so easy to regret
I cannot forgive you: not yet
Only grace can erase your face Only by faith can I be free Of your madness and cruelty
May God forgive and grant the grace I need to leave where nightmares feed Upon my heart upon my art
I will forgive you when I can
When grace will mend at sorrow's end The miseries of mortal man
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 18, 2005, 10:53 pm
The Little Book of Lance
As the Little Book of Lance comes out No braggadocio for me The self-promotional spout and shout That do-si-do of vanity Strikes me as base buffoonery
But celebrating inwardly Quietly then this book will become In transcendental victory My handbook and my vade mecum
When I go out I can show it to Friends when I meet them and maybe you In the way my mother taught me Modestly and with dignity
And may the arrogant relent If I have seemed so I repent Pride has chased but has not caught me For first and last I am but dust
Though I could never tell you why I write my life down since I must I live I write and then I die To give The Little Book of Lance a chance
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 18, 2005, 5:43 am
Walk
It is the intention Of God for me to live Divine intervention Comes quietly to give Me reason in season To continue my quest My duty to beauty The brightest and the best
When my way is shrouded In shadows of the night When my day is clouded I walk by faith not sight
And in the end I will not fail And I will get up when I fall For watching just behind the veil Is one who waits and knows it all
Since he has walked this way before And there is none who loves me more
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 18, 2005, 12:11 am
Never Never Go Back There
Last night with sad eyes lighted by moonbeams Which seemed not for me I lay discouraged Here as my empathic cat lay on me Face to face and nose to nose hoping he Could purr me into better brighter dreams
Now my eyes embrace the sun encouraged As I blink into light I hardly know Having languished in the shadow of death These years: I will dry these tears even though I have no certainty of heartbeat breath Nor of tomorrow ever coming yet I remember life but will not forget What it was like to live among the dead
Life my libation hope my morning prayer I will embrace love as my daily bread And I will never never go back where The dead things hold sway to bury the day No I will never never go back there
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 17, 2005, 5:59 am
Forget
I lie here utterly lost in decay Feeling as though I were already dead As one by one my friends all turn away Leaving me to fate in this narrow bed This haunted house the only home I know I cannot leave them laughing when I go
Not this time as it all comes crashing down Around me just as Uncle Jack once said My only consolation is that he Forever will be far away from me Because if there exists a place of grace And I get there I will not see his face His mocking smile and his bully-boy style Would have no meaning and be out of place
But what do I know and where can I go? My life was lived as though in outer space A silent vacuum where no one could hear Me and where no one wanted to be near Me: it is enough it is too much now Forget what you see forget about me
I just want to sleep... to forget somehow...
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 17, 2005, 12:22 am
Transcendental Sonnet #1410: Before September
I have learned the hard way There is no tomorrow Sufficient to this day Its own joy and sorrow
And if tomorrow comes And if the sun should rise Blow trumpets and bang drums To celebrate surprise
But do not depend on It: today is not gone Yet: this might be our last Moment before September
Today might be the past Which no one will remember
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 16, 2005, 5:49 pm
A Thank-You Note for Someone Who Cared
I was sick unto death with despair And I looked for someone who might care Looked everywhere but no one was there Except for my son and also one Who has many better things to do But chose to care for me: that was you
Alone in a lonely universe Some disappointed and made it worse One dumped his hostility on me But my son was here and you were there For me for grace can be anywhere And I was dismayed to be betrayed But not by you: your friendship is true
I have a new book coming out soon My son did the cover art the moon Water and fire the earth and the sky And you read over each one of my Poems with a sharp eye every day I thank my son and K. A. M. J. In the front of that book: take a look And you will see what you mean to me
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 16, 2005, 4:59 am
Refreshing
All the middle-aged fancy folks have calmed down now (Including me) A teapot-tempest come and gone It is only you who get me through this somehow Swimming through a night of sludge knowing that the dawn Will bring another day of you another way A better brighter fresher way for life to be
And you and only you give me the light to see Through the misunderstanding and the la-de-da The basic barnyard bullsh*t and the blah-blah-blah Of people who are weak nor think before they speak (Including me) Adults are idiots you see But really there are no such things: we all are kids
Our superegos are disused we use our ids And heaven knows wherever we go the ego Must always be front and center especially Whenever it comes to poets and poetry The greater the ego the lesser the talent too That is why it is so refreshing to be with you
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 15, 2005, 7:39 pm
Kiss of Death
I got out with my soul Still under my control Or at least not under Hers which is a wonder Considering how she Controlled the rest of me
Succubus! I made it Out alive and paid it All back in blood and tears The worst and best of me Those high and haunted years And I still have my soul
As for the rest of me Such as my heart my mind My health I had no choice But leave all that behind And the sound of her voice Will haunt me all my days
Always always always
Oh shattered yellow rose Does he write you poetry? In Swedish I suppose Do you ever think of me?
That which is dead can never die No hope of ever turning back Oh yellow rose now turned to black Take this my kiss of death goodbye
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 15, 2005, 3:58 am
Succubus
I slept all day and made coffee at midnight I see some of you think that you are lovers Never mind love it is life for which I fight So go get 'em boys but a shadow hovers Just over your shoulder as you grow older
I know how it is for that same shadow haunts Me too just like you: but ...I know what it wants
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 15, 2005, 2:53 am
Uncle Jack Called Me an Invalid
The thing which makes of me an invalid My individual residual Of what was done to me* and what I did Disables yet enables me to be Of a peculiar perspective to see The most unusual as usual
By which the invalid is made valid Each breath and heartbeat and tick of the clock An unexpected miracle of grace
Blessed are those who can forget like God Whose healing forgiveness serves to unlock All of the doors which are slammed in my face A validated invalid if odd I continue my daily pilgrimage Validated in an invalid age
*(done to me by Uncle Jack)
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 14, 2005, 3:14 pm
Wait
How long does it take to live Down a past for which I grieve? Would it be better to give Back my gift of life and leave This fight? Would God then forgive My desertion we believe To be murder even though It is my own life I take Having made the choice to go? Is this a choice I can make?
How much is enough at last? Everyone speaks of the now But the future frightens and I cannot escape the past My now is a no-man's-land State of suspension somehow Between being bound and free I am ready to die but Frozen by my fear of what Has been is and is to be
Since only one knows my fate I will trust in God ...and wait
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 13, 2005, 8:36 pm
The Moment of Pure Being
The eternal conundrum finds Existential resolution When loving hearts to troubled minds Speak peace be still you are not ill It is just that you must let go Embrace the light be still and know
Who fights with fate can never win Acceptance of mortality Is offered as the master key And those who take it then begin To live each day as though the last Transcend the future and the past
Now is the only solution
For only in the now is found The secrets of the universe Where one has been where one is bound And rich poor up down better worse Mean nothing to the moment of Pure being which is life is love
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 13, 2005, 1:07 pm
Ready
Now I let it all go I am ready to die But if you must ask why Then you will never know You would not understand
I am not complaining Nor am I explaining Simply waiting to go To new life to new land
As a dry leaf in fall Learns to fly even so In its time that is all And the way it will be For this leaf which is me
No debate only fate When the autumn winds blow And my gaze is steady Because I am ready
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 12, 2005, 4:33 pm
Summer into Fall
The sunflower light of summer enshrouds Itself behind a neutral grey curtain A change of scene takes place behind these clouds Crowds below are skittish and uncertain
We see the calendar predict a fall Does it speak of fall as in autumn or That unspeakable we dread and wait for? Humankind is not good at change at all
Underneath our shrouded sky this morning Chicken Littles here and there cluck warning Making the now wary very nervous Frightening those with kids in the service
Is the sky falling or is it calling The attention of our eyes to that light Which shines behind the curtain out of reach Yet never out of mind though out of sight?
The world evolves as it revolves to teach What goes around comes around again too Riding this carousel is what we do Riding through it all summer into fall
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 11, 2005, 5:56 pm
Looking Up
What do you think of and what do you do When the unthinkable happens to you?
You rise and realize to your surprise That the world really is a crazy place That the human race really is a race Where everyone runs and nobody wins Your world seems to collapse before your eyes
When this is the way your morning begins You find yourself shaken find yourself stirred Not the beginning you would have preferred To the day anyway but come what may This is the way it comes and how it goes
In a world where nobody really knows What to expect and what will happen now Stop to reflect then keep going somehow If things are as bad as they would appear The only way to look is up from here
Our future hopes are born in present laughter Our best revenge is happy ever after
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 10, 2005, 6:43 am
Sprout
A dry seed a thousand years old Dormant a thousand summers' heat Dead through a thousand winters' cold Can spring to life and bear new wheat Awake again once more to feed A world in need a living seed Because although it seemed to die It was waiting its calling then A lesson for us you and I
In all our trials even when We seem to dry and die away We live to bloom another day Our opportunity can be Once twice and thrice and yet again We are not limited to one Chance only and past present pain Another cycle is begun If only we can wait for fate
As old and dry and dead seeds sprout So can we if we wait it out
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 9, 2005, 3:36 pm
Faces
I can no longer bear to go to the cemetery Although I used to go there every day I used to walk my Grandma's dog there and it was very Thoughtful and therapeutic in its way Then the only one of us there was Grandpa all alone Apart from the old folks other places
But now they are all there all the family I have known I see their graves and I see their faces
And I was supposed to be there too but I had to sell My corner of the family plot when I was fighting for my life and felt like I was in hell Already but steadier now than then I trust in God like they did struggling through my own last days I cannot bear to see a stranger there and yet always:
They call to me that I should be with them to see December But whatever happens it is their faces I remember
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 8, 2005, 6:44 pm
Ride Lucky Little Bastard Ride
Good to get paid Good to get laid Good to be alive speaking generally
And if one could Be understood That would be the best that one could hope to be
The Lucky Little Bastard keeps keeping on Worries about nothing until it is gone Ride Lucky Little Bastard ride
Down here there is no place to hide So you might as well enjoy it Soon enough they would destroy it
And get you too Yet never do Ride Lucky Little Bastard ride
Nobody knows quite on whose side But now really does that matter With the fat cats getting fatter?
Leave some for me Be cool just be The Lucky Little Bastard son of glory
And they will never catch you: end of story
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 7, 2005, 11:29 pm
Falling Forward
If walking is falling forward Living is dying daily toward The ending of our beginning As the spheres of space are spinning Their solidarity to lend Us on our journey without end
Falling forward into the light Dying daily into the bright Promise of knowing the unknown
Knowing we are never alone Although lonely we are only A step and a heartbeat away From those who would love us today They are there and they care for you I know because they care for me
People like me and like you too Walking and living destiny
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 7, 2005, 9:28 pm
Future Embrace
Change is terrifying Why? Change is clarifying I See tomorrow rearrange the sky
I can see embracing dreams come true
Love is terrifying Too Love is clarifying You See the future written you and I
Embracing one another as new
It will not be scary So You need not be wary Know Tomorrow comes today if we try
The future and I both embrace you
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMV
Aug 7, 2005, 12:39 am
This Riddle Love
Wounded wary from the sins Of betraying lovers lost Knowing too well that the cost Is no less than everything Broken hearts begin to sing This is how the hope begins
Stirring in abandoned hearts Which will not be silenced now Life now turns from death somehow First a taste then wanting more Hearts beat faster than before This is how the magic starts
What was done becomes undone Hearts beat hard and heads grow light Things feel strange but strangely right
Hearts are pounding one to one Out of body out of breath Life-rush of the little death
On earth heaven is begun Two by two by me and you This is how the dream comes true
Point and purpose of it all Nothing better and above All else soars this riddle love By which we are raised to be Beautiful again and free Rising only when we fall
