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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1501 thru 1525 of 2843 Poems

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Jun 25, 2008, 7:20 am


I Mean to Find Some Meaning

Is the way I feel the way I am or am I the same
When I feel proud of myself as when I wallow in shame?
If only for the sake of convenience I wish I knew
Is who I am or who I feel I am the one to blame
For the manifold absurdities attached to my name?

Though I know nothing I am comforted that no one knows
And everyone should be in solidarity with me
As we try to hold on to what may come yet never came
But the sad part is that there were dreams which never came true
And there were nightmares which woke into dark reality

If I ever found some meaning I would share it with you
Though from my past experience I seem unable to
Hold on to what may come for very long before it goes
But if I could I really would whatever else I do
And I mean to find some meaning here before I get through

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 23, 2008, 7:36 pm


Existential Satisfaction

We are picky in the pink of propinquity
And we like to be able to feel respected
If not quite accepted at least not rejected
The closest we let respect get to you and me

Self-banished by blandishment for a blandish while
To the indifference of anonymity
With its enigmatic subcutaneous smile
Its grin beneath our skin our bone beneath its stone

We dream our days invisible but side by side
We fret ourselves about who lives about who died
And those who did (oh God forbid) were all alone
Leave hope behind who enter here: be satisfied

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 23, 2008, 1:28 am


One Spark of Happiness

The promise of tomorrow yesterday
Becomes a disappointment one day on
Today has only tomorrow and then
Just before it gets here it gets away
And we are left with nothing but the when
Of this fleeting present soon to be gone

But this is how it is and this remains
The only payment we can depend on
The present is the profit of our pains
A penny-candle given to spend on
One spark of happiness one moment long
Like you might find in a line from a song

The present is the promise of today
The only time we ever understand
Because all other time is meaningless
Except this gift for which no one can pay
Regret and apprehension nonetheless
Forget all time but now and hold my hand

And when we come together as we must
After having come through meaninglessness
The best of our coming will be the trust
In life and one another we will feel
When finally we are able to say
The present came for us and it was real

Like you might find in a line from a song
One spark of happiness one moment long

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 22, 2008, 7:32 pm


Lonely if Only

Lonely if only the way it must be
Actually we are all looking for us
Cruising for some chance encounter with who
We want to hang around with me and you

This is the business of us and the fuss
Which flusters us forward here day by day
And makes us search the faces on the bus
As I look for you and you look for me

Lonely if only the way it has been
I wonder why it has to be this way
But when we find ourselves we get along
Doing our part to keep humankind strong

It feels pretty good when it works out right
We just move along when it works out wrong
The light at the end of the tunnel may
Not be at all or be too far away

The light I care about is in your eyes
I might even have a little in mine
If that were all there were that would be fine
It took awhile but now I realize

Lonely if only you know what I mean
We need each other though we hate to say
It right out loud as lonely eyes see light
And hungry mouths taste hope however slight

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 21, 2008, 5:34 pm


Thanks

I am embarrassed to look as I do
And be as I am my life having come
To this after all this late in the day

Am I a hobo or am I a bum?
Will this pain I feel ever go away?
You say I never disappointed you
That you believed in me no matter what
I used to remember that but forgot
Out on the screaming streets of nowhereland

I am embarrassed but you understood
That I held on for as long as I could
You understood because you understand

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 19, 2008, 8:25 pm


Manifesto

The pattern of the past becomes a pattern in reverse
Like zebras walking backwards in a mirror at the zoo
As we pass by best and worst to slum with better and worse
In a universe which seems an existentialist joke

If I feel it has failed me does it feel I failed it too?
I seek but fail to find much as my life goes up in smoke
But our failings not withstanding this is my universe

I may not understand it but I know it like the hand
Which comforts me and challenges my need to understand
With a feeling of unsettling familiarity

Do immortals watch us with amusement and do they laugh
At us as we play beat-the-clock here in the other half
(The dark side of the moon as it would seem to me to be)?

The hand which comforts me assures me that I need not know
The answers just the questions and that hand goes where I go
Though I have the questions now the answers may not be known
Until I understand the hand which comforts is my own

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 18, 2008, 6:14 am


Maybe

My poems are not about anything
What I like to say about them is they
Do not represent but they simply are
(Although not about anything) something
Like crossword puzzles in The New York Times
They are puzzled over from near to far
Frustrating some entertaining some more

I like to try out unusual rhymes
Before the tide of time can wash away
These strings of syllables counted and squared
By which I am always asking what for
And why (as I question reality)
No one has answered and why no one cared
But maybe one will eventually

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 17, 2008, 3:27 am


The Time of My Life

As I waited for the telephone to ring one day
All the while hoping the mail might bring me some good news
I realized it mattered nothing what they might say

My poems work for me (and I hope they work for you)

We each have an opinion but what matters is whose
Is the one I choose to care about and listen to

Chimpanzees comfort each other with hugs and kisses
I only wish we could be as kind as they would be
Stumbling alone through hits and staggering through misses

I guess I wish I were as kind as a chimpanzee

Because no one leaves here alive I was born to lose
I must just do it graciously whatever I do

Because no one comes here in vain I was born to win
Whatever I do I must just do it graciously
Now as I wait for the time of my life to begin

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 16, 2008, 9:19 am


Existential Magic Show

Death is chasing us but life is running too
Though we have been so far behind for so long
We became far closer than anyone knew
Sharing certain feelings of uncertainty
And uncertainty certainly made us strong

The lotus unfolded and there I found you
Where you made me feel like a summer love song
Wearing uncertain feelings of certainty
And I knew by the time that summer was through
It would be that summer forever for me

So you are and you will be as you have been
My love and my summer forever for now
And you know I know you know just what I mean
As you saw me in half and then take a bow
Posing as the third half in the space between

Prestidigitators the both of us for
As long as there have been magic tricks to do
And I saw my lovely assistant in two
Who told me the story and swore it was true
We did our full act but the public wants more

No encore prepared and nothing up my sleeve
We reattach ourselves take our bows and leave

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 15, 2008, 12:10 am


Wait

I will wait here for you until you come
At such a time as you can be with me
And be content with nothing as the sum
Of what I know of hope and destiny
The sole exception being my knowing
My heart and feeling the feelings within

I feel the hope of destiny growing

Though all I know of what might be called real
Is just this hope of destiny I feel
Still this is enough for me to begin
We only have beginning anyway
With every heartbeat life begins again
And when the end comes then no one can say

Then only the works of our hands remain
When the spirit is far away from here
Yet never more present never more near
Because it is ever and always now
In cross-dimensional immediacy
Where spirits like thoughts will always be free

And we will be together then somehow

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 13, 2008, 10:31 pm


Empathy in the Afternoon

The consolation of my age
Is to at last find truth
Beyond the futile fists of rage
So ready in my youth
I see in someone else's eyes
The truth I know as you

To my surprise I realize
That you are my friend too
Shrinkwrapping problems down to size
Discerning false from true
For one who grew up in a cage
And never really knew

The thinking-over of it all
Heads my heart home to peace
The way a leaf must in the fall
Learn to embrace release
As all who live must learn to die
Just as we learn to live

As most by my age learn as I
Have had to so I give
An idea which could be advice
Were I to give such things:

All we need to do is be nice
To rise upon such wings
As given any commonday
Song sparrow as it sings
Get off the floor and score some more
Empathy in the afternoon

Whatever someone else might say
My consolation brings
Me out once more to dance the moon
Which though it wax and wane
Will always be up there and soon
As empty fills again
The moment of fulfillment shines

Nor does it shine in vain
Thousand-faced on moonflower vines
As we forget the pain
Of strangers here in stranger-land
Who need not be told twice
Still strangers but who understand
All we need to do is be nice

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 11, 2008, 8:16 am


Our Flexible Selves

Do I have to be home for fate to knock on my door?
How specific is this metaphysical visit?
What if I get in trouble out here looking for more
And miss its knock? Would fate unlock my door and come in
Anyway to take what I lose and leave what I win?
When I do not believe that fate is real then is it?

Given the choice I would rather not deal face-to-face
With one who bears a scythe to cut down those of my race
Which is only part of being human after all
And I wonder if such cutting bears a sense of place
Or if those who can no longer stand it take the fall
For those who cannot stand it but stand in any case

If not at my door there might I miss the whole affair
Or wherever I go might fate (and its scythe) be there
As well? Neither heaven nor hell but purgatory

If I am anywhere at all I am only where
(Without so much as knocking) fate has tracked me to be
A free human being (at least temporarily)

The history of humankind is a sad story
Though a tale told by the victors you can see the cracks
In the walls by which we see the blood and cruelty
Inflicted on the victims which fate silently tracks
We see the winners never really won anything
Fate does not discriminate and this should dull the ache

We are judged by neither what we take nor what we bring
If we are judged at all it is only for the sake
Of ourselves since there is nothing we can bring nor take
But our flexible selves which bend and yet never break
And what this flexible self of mine would like to do
Is to give fate the slip and then to skip out with you

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 8, 2008, 3:00 am


Karen Smith

At this late hour and this great distance of
Forty years later I find Karen Smith
In my memory where she lives now with
A few other girls I will always love
And saw again the reason why it was
The way it was was simply just because
The way it was was how it had to be

But I wish Karen Smith was here with me

(And should you insist I should have said were
Then you did not know no did not know her)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 7, 2008, 9:11 pm


Spell (for You)

Though I feel confident to spell
And do such things as words demand
To draw my dreams before they die
One thing I never understand
But notice how and wonder why
I find my fingers feel all thumbs
And I feel stupid truth to tell
Facing figures summoned by sums
Beyond what I can count by hand
As syllables of poetry
Which soar yet never seem too high

These are the figures I can face
They seldom are more than fourteen
Or less than four or in-between
Fourteeners and in-betweeners
Pentameter and ballad-rhyme
If you know me you know I mean
I count these all day all the time
With my self-confidence in place

Yet when such mathematics comes
As figures the fiduciary
I hide and wait for it to go
Since it could not have come for me
Avoiding like an evil spell
No matter who thinks what is true
That which I have no hope to know
In favor of that which I do
To draw my dreams before they die
Whose numbers lift me to the sky
To speak these words I spell (for you)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 6, 2008, 12:58 pm


The Unruined Movie

If we could know the future would we panic
To find ourselves carried inevitably
Along a circuitous trajectory
The knowledge of which humming hypomanic
Might ruin the movie revealing its end?

I think I would rather not know what will be
So I can be surprised by what life might send

If we could remember the past would we find
Ourselves overwhelmed by the weight of it all
To live again these risings before this fall
Living less in our before than our behind?

Both future and past should be shared with a friend

But there is no future as everyone knows
They say it will come and yet it never does
And as for a past we can never recall
I just hope that now is better than it was

All anyone can do is see how it goes

And then there is the question of where we go
Which is balanced by the question of where we
Came from in the first place if we really are
Something like present here for something like now

I would ask someone but how could someone know?

Wherever it is I am going somehow
And somehow I sense it is not very far

I know no future and I forgot the past
But I really think life is better this way
And I am no saint but a sinner can pray
To be present for something like now at last
To find my present and share it with a friend

The unruined movie reveals by its end
The here of life is now and temporary

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 5, 2008, 3:52 am


Twilight

With my left hand I beckon to the night
To just return my greeting anyway
While reaching with my right hand for the day:

Why must one hand be left and one be right?

I am not one of those people who must
Be right and if I were how would I know
Since I come from and must return to dust
Sooner or later? And yet even so
An ember in the ashes flashes flame
Out of the dust where the fire-rose must grow

Life out of death to keep alive the name
Of one who cannot really ever go
Because he never really ever came
But who exists and who persists upon
This isle of grey between the black and white
This land between the hand of dark and light

The night drops by before the day has gone
Its purpose to prepare the promise of
An hour when left and right embrace in love:

When twilight joins the hand of day to night

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 4, 2008, 2:22 am


Let Me Know

Utility and futility
Usefulness and uselessness

One being used is probably me
But no one is useless with hope I guess
And if I had anything it would be
Some hope and a sense of utility
To be a spark in the dark if I can

I need to be useful without being used
To win the approval my father denied
And have always tried (even since he died)
To win the approval my father refused
But the monster and the myth consumed the man

I want to open my eyes and see
Hope start (small: so it has room to grow)
And life as worth living even though
Utterly uncertain as I wait for
A miracle (just one miracle more!)

To win the approval denied and refused
I seem to have to work harder than others
I need to be useful without being used
If only to honor my murdered brothers
And if anyone could love me let me know

Uselessness and usefulness
Futility and utility

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








Jun 2, 2008, 11:37 pm


Hummingbird Reality

Have you ever heard the buzz of a hummingbird's wing?
A hummingbird hovered close and I heard its wing-buzz

I believe I wanted to be before I was born
And insisting on existing I remain as sworn
To be and to endure transcending such wear and tear
As those of us who insist on existing sustain
Where in the end like Cheshire cats only smiles remain
This is how it always is and this is how it was:

A hummingbird hovered close to me buzzing in the air
And this was and this is as real to me as anything

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








May 31, 2008, 10:38 pm


A Love Song Actually

Unlikely friends and likely enemies
Who are misunderstood unlikely friends
Since everyone should have a few of these
And for those who care for both means and ends
The pure joy of the process on the way
Life gave us this along with all the rest

We hid it in our hearts like yesterday
Alongside secrets never yet confessed
To learn we were lucky enough to be
Likely friends and unlikely enemies
And everyone should have a few of these

I have always gotten along with you
Just as you have gotten along with me
And if anyone asks me what is true
I answer magic and how love is free
To say I love you right out of the blue

When my eyes close my open heart can see
Of all the gifts life gave you were the best
So this is a love song actually
To say I love you and I know you knew

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








May 31, 2008, 4:58 am


The Consequences of Resurrection

A star once exploded inside my head
From the inside out it blew up my brain
And though then I was supposed to be dead
After a few weeks I woke up again
To be not what I was but this instead
And this instead has been all right with me

The consequences of resurrection
Are functionally like insanity
And include a craving for perfection
Having tasted it however briefly
Which to me would seem better than never
Because it gave me something to reach for
But nobody has to wait forever
Our days have a number and not one more

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








May 29, 2008, 8:54 pm


Interior Spacescape

As much appreciated as little understood
I am surprised to be cared about
But what I care about is caring makes me feel good
And forget what I was scared about

Every one of us has a reason to feel alone
But to be cared about is to have your reason known
(We smile at one another while stupid people shout)
I have my reason known now and am always surprised
Although alone to have my loneliness realized

Where my loneliness goes the rest will have to follow
Although it can only be unique
An interior spacescape beautiful but hollow
Cared about (surrounded) as we speak

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








May 26, 2008, 9:09 pm


The Question of Destiny

The answer to the question is out of the question
Because it is out of the question the answer grows
So if by my saying this I make the suggestion
That I do not know it is because nobody knows

I am willing to admit the pieces do not fit
Or fit in some way other than the way they appear
But I have long since seen this and become used to it
And the jumble of it all is the place we call here

The question to the answer is the answer at last
And so on in a dialectic which never ends
Between the answer and the question present and past
And the tumble of it all is the time we call now

I would rather share questions than answers with my friends
Because none of us knows any answers anyway
Although not sure of anything we get by somehow
And the here and the now which we share we call today

I feel less confused here than I might some other place
Nobody here pretends to know anything at all
It is something like heaven (or whatever you call
It) here where the question meets the answer face-to-face

I do not know because nobody knows
And not knowing has never bothered me
But out of the question the answer grows
To answer the question of destiny

Through the flood and through the fire
Through the deluge and the flame
Drown the guilt and burn the blame
Leaving only pure desire

Source and sense and suffering
Ego mind libido name
Talent time and treasure bring
To the All in offering

I do not know
And neither do you
But neither need we go
In search of what is true

The question to the answer is the answer at last
And so on in a dialectic which never ends
Between the answer and the question present and past
And the tumble of it all is the time we call now

You are here with me
I am there with you
This I know is true
This is destiny

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








May 24, 2008, 4:25 pm


Egg and Stone

Life is fragile as an egg and hard as a stone
But I think with you I can get through it somehow
My old friend you and I have always been alone
Before we knew the word it meant what we are now

Since to be alone seems to be our destiny
And since I always like to be alone with you
I wonder would you like to be alone with me
Or is that how we are now or have always been
Through all of our trials (and what then does this mean)?

Some people just get along better than others
Not talking much but by parallel existence
As strangers get married and friends become brothers
With the point of contact something like persistence

What would we be and what would our existence mean
If we missed the point of human propinquity
No me-and-you but only empty space between?
Alone together sharing the absurdity
Of being we are seeing at last what is shown

It is written through the universe everywhere
In the star of the sky and the sand of the sea
In the fingerprint and in the strand of the hair
That we not only are but we are meant to be

Together not whether but when and here we are
My old friend you and I have never been alone
Here we are together (if only we had known)
The space between two human beings is so far
But I think you and I can get through it somehow

Life is fragile as an egg and hard as a stone
Before we know the word it means what we are now

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








May 21, 2008, 8:28 pm


Captain Fantastic

I always like to read the comics first
And have dessert at any time I please
Appreciating life's gifts and graces
A little of the best before the worst
Enjoying my health despite my disease
And through these rose-colored glasses I see
This half-empty glass looks half-full to me

No one believes me but soon I will win
This race (which while absurd is not so bad)
No time like now to be and to begin
To do such duty destiny demands
As scary as it is as it places
The possible in improbable hands
Which have not learned the concept of defeat

I want to be Captain Fantastic now
The time has come for me to rise and soar
And although lacking laurel leaves to be
If not the laureate of the elite
The Laureate of the Mad anyhow
Who has lived a lot to live a lot more
And to bring smiles to serious faces

The spacetime fabric stretches elastic
So that an old dog might yet have his day
As Laureate of the Mad anyway

Look out world: here comes Captain Fantastic

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII








May 19, 2008, 8:06 pm


Keep on Dreaming

If you ask me to explain life to you
I suppose you might be disappointed
To find I left my explaining behind
When I looked for an explanation too
But found mine fragmented and disjointed
Since each who would explain had lost his mind

Then is when I realized how few knew
That what is worth knowing cannot be taught
What cannot be taught can only be learned
And what is worth having cannot be bought
What cannot be bought can only be earned

Dreams live to be lived so that ours may be
Illuminated lives where dreamers see
Circles above us reflected below
Where we catch what we might never pursue
But has pursued us here for all we know

Dreams are what create us as they come true
After giving us nightmares for so long
Becoming the essence of who we are
Having not killed us they have made us strong
Enough anyway to have come this far
So keep on dreaming whatever you do

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMVIII











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Displaying Poems 1501 thru 1525 of 2843 Poems

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