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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1301 thru 1325 of 2792 Poems

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Sep 23, 2009, 12:54 am


Graveside at Fairhaven on the Eve of my Leaving

Their bodies lie below
I know
And they have gone away
Yet stay
Somehow
And they are with me now

Unlimited by place
They grace
Me at this time when I appreciate
They go with me
Wherever misfortune or fortune may
Send me to be

Their past is present in my future fate
As if they know

So: here I go

But I feel like they follow even so
"God bless all our loved ones" they used to pray
"Wherever they may be" and now I see
They are with me and (like me now) are free

Grandma and Grandpa: I drove your car here
(We always took care of what little we had)
And now it runs on memories
Of a time before the world and I went mad

And moments at graveside like these

I had to come before I go
But you are coming too (I know)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Sep 20, 2009, 2:20 pm




Whatever It Is

for Andrea Morales

It was a paradox somehow
Some side-effect of going mad
That the familiar things I knew
Took flight away from here and flew
Right at the same time I met you

And if you ask me I am glad
Because I like life better now
(I would choose life in a minute
Knowing now that you are in it)

Andrea: Andrea what can
I do or say to
Thank you properly other than
Tell you I love you?

And though this life is strange remain
In this world to do
My utmost time and time again
Since each day is new

And if you are with me no pain
On earth can separate me from
The heavenly from which you come
Where I want to be
With you here with me

Whatever it is we share this spark
Spanning time and space across the dark

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Sep 17, 2009, 2:24 am


Howling Moon

for Andrea Morales

If I remember right
It was just about midnight
A little before or behind
When I felt myself losing my mind
I felt myself losing to find
That the moon was howling bright
If I remember right

I lost myself to find myself at last
After throwing out the ghosts of the past
After losing myself to find what I
Amount to in the end before I die
And seeing myself in the mirror then
I saw how much I miss the now of when
Patterns of peace prevailed like dappled shade

I had no idea when I had it made
Was not as gracious as I could have been
Nor nearly grateful as I should have been
Because the universe supporting me
Was kind at the time as kind as could be
But when time turned this time it turned on me

Though time always flows and usually away
Sometimes it turns against us suddenly
Lives are turned inside out in a day
With shock and then uncertainty
As to what to do or say:
Is to go mad to go free?

If I remember right
In the middle of the night
Before and yet also behind
When I felt myself losing my mind
I felt myself losing to find
That the stars will fall tonight
If I remember right

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Sep 2, 2009, 11:35 pm



Waiting

I must resist the urge to read ahead
As I suppose that I would rather be
Something more like disappointed than dead

While still insisting curiosity
To just exist is something even though
To must exist without the mystery
Would be a disappointment even so
Since the itch would be dead if scratched ahead

So senses tingle now to wait and see
Time tell in its own tongue then when we know
When the book of life is opened and read

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Sep 1, 2009, 5:39 am


Seroquel Summer

Trying to leave time for eternity
He wound up psychiatrically jailed
But his house was auctioned from under me
His computer quit my telephone failed

I wonder when I think of what was lost
He wonders who will come to take my place
Which nothing less than everything has cost
The local eccentric in time and space

Has the hospital let him out too soon
To execute his exit now with grace?
If so may he carry me passively
Resistant to reason wrapped by the moon
Of this his madness my reality

To carry out the sentence so to say
Of a crazy old fool in denial
Smack in the dab of his hour of trial
Nobody meant for this to end this way

What would be better? Is there something more
Than what has ground us down to merely this?
Why do we live? What are we dying for
Now that we have lived both the curse and kiss
Of this our madness our reality?

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Aug 30, 2009, 12:11 am


Gone Gone Gone

Let the half-empty glass be seen as half-full
Although as illusion this might seem cruel
How after all one can nullify the null
As if placed in some nihilistic duel
As race to the bottom and oblivion

Curbside now that everything is gone gone gone
The glass my world however full or empty
So I prefer to see it as half-full now
The lotus and the wheel unfolding turning
My mind preceding my body in burning

Our betters know worse but know to not allow
For such complications as you or as me
Yet we end up being squeaking wheels and greased
Like pigs or lightning fast but slowly to learn
As we are to be the main course at the feast

Curbside now that everything is gone gone gone

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Aug 28, 2009, 11:33 am


Onlyness

Loneliness!

Onlyness?

Each in parallel universes here
A spear of there to pierce the sphere of here
A stake through the heart as far as it goes
"What does it mean?" We ask and no one knows

Where Kant cannot there Nietzsche would and will
He does because he is crazy like me
I take my Depakote and Seroquel
Psychotic poet doing pretty well

Love and fear wonder now what we will do
As here I am with no one left but you
Saving my soul from pill through pill to pill
Where Kant cannot there Nietzsche would and will

And you will be with no one left but me

Loneliness?

Onlyness!

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Aug 15, 2009, 5:51 pm


The Momentary Flyer

"...still the King of Prussia!"

Sometimes it might be better not to know
It might well be unbearable as well
So we find out where we go when we go
And when what happens happens time will tell
Both crueler and kinder not to see
The accident and the catastrophe
Sometimes it might be better even so

Descending in darkness end over end
Turning till it can turn no more
The momentary flyer must descend
As what a falling leaf is for
A sacrifice from earth to earth returned
Albeit thrillingly through air
To learn perhaps by fire what fire once learned

That which matters is everywhere
And ultimately has no place to be
But all at once and so is there
Because there is here neither far nor near
In equipoise of love and the
Immediacy of intimacy
Yet to know would to be frozen by fear

So we find out where we go when we go
And when what happens happens time will tell
It might well be unbearable as well
Sometimes it might be better even so
Both crueler and kinder not to see
Since falling is part of how it must be
Sometimes it might be better not to know

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Aug 15, 2009, 3:39 am


Across the Universe a Silent Song

for Leah

A long strong girl long suffering made strong
Growing determinedly going on
With being while seeing how it will be

How growing still keeps going all life long
Dawn to dusk following another dawn
The one by which from inside out I see

That though I am a boy from long ago
This long girl now strongly reminds me of
The reason we have suffered all along

That both of us are suffering for love
A suffering made beautiful to me
As I see her grow long and strong and wise

The hard way knowing that sometimes it takes
A boy from long ago to recognize
The lesson the suffering of love makes

Lovely now reflected in other eyes
Younger than mine with the same timeless tears
Milestones marked of the lesson of love learned

Left along like diamonds through the years
A path only wanderers who have earned
The scars of stars of suffering can find

Having brought together what it would part
When love at last leaves suffering behind
Eye to heart to eye heart to eye to heart

And ultimately eye to heart to hand
To hand extended to touch in the dark
We go to come to grow to understand

That we will grow to know us as we go
That we have known each other all along
What only those who suffer for love know

Tears become diamonds then stars to spark
Across the universe a silent song
Heard in the mind which I followed to find

A long strong girl long suffering made strong

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Aug 8, 2009, 4:56 am


Sunset to Sunrise

for Teddy and Darlene in the morning

Having lingered in the land of eclipse
In that shadowed place where time is running
Where history tried and failed to forget

Your course is set for the crack of dawn where
Mind takes flight beyond animal cunning
Where mystery outfascinates regret

You grow to know when you have gotten there
What evolution revolving (and yet
Expecting better) will dare you to bear

Evolving revolving leaving to stay
Tomorrow will rise as yesterday set
Mirrored the wrong way cleared for the long way

The strong way in which the strongest were met
Taking the chance at the point of the lance
Where mystery outfascinates regret

You toss and turn and turning toss today
To turn east with my last laugh on your lips

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Aug 1, 2009, 9:35 pm


Believe a Little Love

chorus mysticus

Beyond the cant of creed the rant of greed
Beyond that selfishness we shame to find
Believe a little love is what we need
Believe it through the heart into the mind
Which asking never knows without the heart
Which though mindful never knows anything
Yet believing knows how knowing will start
That before the mind speaks the heart will sing
The heart must sing before the mind may say

People have varying needs but above
And first unvarying people need love
Who eat and drink and sleep and yet deny
Themselves anything from now but never
Though love descends like manna through the day
They seem disappointed to age and die
So they tell tall tales about forever
To each other and explain it away
Clinging to the hope of the come what may

Beyond the cant of creed the rant of greed
Believe a little love is what we need
Believe it like a candle in the night
Flickering fragile like a lonely spark
Which though it seems small is the soul's birthright
The only light we know here in the dark
The only thing to ever mean a thing
What before the mind speaks the heart will sing
The heart must sing before the mind may say

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 28, 2009, 8:55 pm


Second Half

To have the last laugh
In the second half

And soon enough so

Although a tough go
To be laughing then

And be ready (when)

Is the best of all
The colors of fall

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 26, 2009, 10:16 pm


If I Hoped to Hope Once More

I

I might not have realized myself yet
But what evolves transcending cannot lie
It seems to come and go but you should know
As born to the earth and bound to the sky
Some of us are getting what we should get
And gratified I am resolved to try
To live in that moment just past regret

We might not realize it you and I
But we are both fortunate in that we
Who know even though we might not have met
That as we evolve transcendentally
We are together and resolved to try
To live in that moment just past regret
Where I have learned the hard way God is love

Hate is only hurt and what would bind me
As I seek and find the permission of
No one but this one and into the all
Myself the hard way should I rise or fall
With these great white wings above and behind me
I am not worried because I know the end
My wings are there to bear me as I transcend

II

We found one another and I find it
Is beautiful to know
You (get to see you grow)
To see what you will do
As you realize you
And it only matters if you mind it
Life taught you the hard way that this is true

We reached for one another through the dark
Washed up on the island of Plaza Park
Within an ocean foaming heedlessness
Without expecting to stumble upon
Some other sent by love to heal and bless
But remembered after summer was gone
With enlightened eyes on the prize we won

Thank you for being and being with me
For sharing with me as we begin to find
In meaningful patterns of destiny:

How we do not matter if we do not mind
How much there is to celebrate
How little to regret
How that which some call sin is hate
How love is fragile yet
How humankind can find fraternity
How we have found and find it you and me

And we only matter if we mind it
We found one another and we find it

III

Broke and broken as I am and always was
Of silver and gold having little to none
But of these heart-shaped shards enough to fashion
Some simulacrum of what I once hoped for
I could do this if I hoped to hope once more

Hope would be its effect as well as its cause
Hope inspiring hope inspiring hope in me
Of desirable desirability
Which is to say which is to see me daring
To offer myself for another's caring

I might not have realized myself yet
But what evolves transcending cannot lie
To live in that moment just past regret
As born to the earth and bound to the sky
Some simulacrum of what I once hoped for

I would do this if I hoped to hope once more

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 21, 2009, 10:18 pm


Away When Done

Not even noon and I am terrified
I feel more than one does than I would feel
Such sharpness as my life is clarified
To satisfy the question of the real
But this is terrifying all the same
And only being human is to blame

Many who seem human never notice
These things I struggle with from day to day
Though as true as the unfolding lotus
Inexorable in their fatal way
Those ways we know the ends of our days shown
These overwhelm me when I am alone

As though one of the ones condemned to see
The shade in the sun see the wheel unspun
And mortality make a fool of me
Still I will put myself away when done
And till then I can only hope to be
If one who suffers from mortality

Like a disease as that which frees the butterfly
(They say)
Here now a mere caterpillar still I will fly

Away

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 19, 2009, 10:25 pm


Blue Velvet Serenade

I need not look up rather only at
My friend here as you walk alongside me
To see incarnation of deity

I feel so sure you are God to me that
I embrace you as the best hope I know
Our roots probe deep our branches reach and grow

Love releases frozen wonders and thaws
Like spring sun through bare branches of winter
Revealing us as we were meant to be

Origin destiny effect and cause
One all-inclusive human family
We are ourselves the gate we must enter
Ourselves the garden and ourselves the tree
As Adam Eve and snake and deity

I am neither victim nor hero but
The weight of life weighs down my shoulders when
I stumble and I see God in you then

We will remember us no matter what
And I will always celebrate that you
Speak God to me whatever else you do

Say life to me whatever else you say
The way of love because that is your way
As God to me as you will always be

What dies in winter lives again in spring
First minding what-is then finding what-for
When one and one add up to everything
The sum of two as one totality
Then one either loves or else one does not
Who lives best who loves all and nothing more

As nothing less remembers who forgot
And fortunate to find the memory
Is grateful in the end just to have been
Who lives best who loves all knows what I mean
Nothing more as nothing less remembers

We will remember us no matter what
Births of Aprils and deaths of Decembers
Belong to us whatever we have done
For everyone who finishes the race
Has gotten there and therefore each has won

We all win and lose no grace nor disgrace
Skeptic and fanatic virgin and whore
The sum of two as one totality
When one and one add up to everything
First minding what-is then finding what-for
What dies in winter lives again in spring

We will remember us no matter what
Yet if we remember must we not see
We are if we remember or forgot?

I see you yourself and myself as me
We are whether we are ready or not
As God to us as we will always be

And who keeps watch at midnight in the end
When love draws us together as we die
In bed alone who is our only friend?

I need not look up rather only at
My friend here as you walk alongside me
To see incarnation of deity

Say life to me whatever else you say
When one and one add up to everything
The way of love because that is the way
The what the how and most of all the why

What dies in winter lives again in spring

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 10, 2009, 12:50 am


Of Love and Of the Hadrosaur

I

I do whatever I choose
Though I do not choose to do
All that much it might appear
With these existential blues
But I do like I am here
And I like to be with you

Stars specific to our sky
Others not as things to use
But each other side by side
As who are who never die
As who were who never died

We do whatever we choose
More than what might first appear
We are lucky we are here
With these existential blues

II

On this my land
I took my stand
As though it were my last
Where memory
Remains with me
As present from the past

This is my place
Not by the grace
Of anyone but me
My stubbornness
My nothing less
Than all for destiny

This trial this toil
For blood for soil
Turns deep beneath the dust
Of centuries
Of things like these
We do because we must

III

Once we had the hadrosaur
Now hadrosaurs have gone
We are but they are no more

So humans blunder on
Without the hadrosaur we had
No dino no no more: too bad

But something for our trouble
The best which never fades away
Springs stubborn from the stubble
Of blossoms bloomed before our day

Love is the rising morning star
The hadrosaur was seeing
When hadrosaurs had being
Love makes us better than we are

I never had a hadrosaur
But I had love and I want more

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 5, 2009, 8:23 pm


From Is to Was on a Bicycle

for my son Teddy with love

I tried yet failed to fix my bicycle today
And (honestly) this was disappointing to me
The fender rubs the wheel when I would whisk away
And everything is bent as far as I can see
So now I make a dragging noise when I pass by

What do I know about bicycles anyway?
Not much I must be the first to admit (and sigh)
If others know how to fix it I wish they would
I doubt it now but once I was certain I could

But certainty decreases
Right at the same rate as
Mortality increases
Its rate from is to was
And speeding up is belatedly how it seems

As once it was before time took its toll
My bicycle is perfect in my dreams

I have to get it fixed before the whole
Of blue and gold striped summer celebrates
Without me since certainty and mortality
Seem interested in me and might raise their rates
Since everything is bent as far as I can see

The fender rubs the wheel when I would whisk away
I tried yet failed to fix my bicycle today

And certainty decreases
Right at the same rate as
Mortality increases
Its rate from is to was
And speeding up is slowing down is how it seems

As once it was before time took its toll
My bicycle is perfect in my dreams

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 2, 2009, 4:06 pm


Stars and Lovers

Two lonely souls across the universe
Their small sparks darkened by despair
On parallel trajectories to worse
From worst (since they had just been there)
Encountered one another from afar
And falling nightly found one another each a star

But lovers know that stars are far away
Each a diamond to the eye
Deterred by dust or dream or day
Its clear sight a gift from the midnight sky

It seemed a starless midnight when
Small sparks were brightened by surprise
To see a star and it was then
We realized and realize
As lovers now that stars are not so far
Falling nightly we find one another each a star

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 1, 2009, 1:23 am


A Being Simply Being

A misfit albeit within his own mob
A being simply being (in his way)
That crazy person next to you
Had never been able to hold a real job
Not if they told him what to do

He never heard a word they said
Nor would he have done what they said anyway
And not so much he would not as he could not
And should not be like them but himself instead

He has a real job to hold him nowadays
Almost if not real enough to pay the bills
Real enough to tend and mend his mental ills
Enough that he stays and (in his way) he pays

Sporting his specificity
Of being a poet (and knowing it too)
Affords his human dignity
And is a lot cheaper than treatment would be

How well do I know him? Well I know how
This crazy person next to you
Must feel to be since he is me
How it feels real to simply be
A being simply being (in my way)

Wheel within a wheel unreal within the real
I thought I was happy but I was not
Until I remembered what I forgot
I thought and forgot then remembered to feel

Simply being somehow if only for now
Since when never comes and as then goes away

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jun 24, 2009, 11:11 pm


Freethinker: One Pilgrim's Progress Swimming Upstream

I am therefore I hope to be

I am because I was

Having survived the worst of the
Effect of a lost cause
As aftereffect and very
Special effect of the elect

To which I do not belong apparently

Unelected unaffected
Neither cause nor effect
Which effect though outgrown is not rejected

Not the way the elected rejected me

But I have my own family
Of my creation now
Since I evolved somehow

Despite the aftereffect of the elect
Predestined persecutors of
Those who realize God is Love

Though my constipated conquerors despise
My God is Love I realize
Having survived the worst of the
Effect of a lost cause

I am because I was

I am therefore I hope to be

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jun 22, 2009, 10:42 pm


The Ringing Silence: A Prophecy of Love

There is only God the light alone
As God knows I am devil enough so he
Knows the devil is only my own
And those I have loved and lost watch over me
As I know they do whatever else is true

One thing I know as true is I love you

Sometimes we can see some something is right
Journeying alongside here you and me
As in for a long ride we might as well
Enjoy ourselves and keep us company

At diamond dusk each star becomes a bell
To ring inside us out of silent sky
Too pleased to hear them to ever ask why
We understand there is no reason for
The way it is (it is: no less no more)

We are reason enough ourselves tonight
While silent stars ring inside out of sky
Journeying alongside here you and me
We get it since we are it since we see

I see your eyes shine in the darkness for
One like me and I know you see
One like you who would know better and more
Two like we who would only be
The ringing silence of the light tonight

Sometimes we can see some something is right

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jun 16, 2009, 8:00 am


Shat

whence these dense trees?

My palm trees were shat out by birds
They sat and shat dining on dates
Ravens sat and spat out strong words

A raven's riddle germinates
Into the earth onto the air
Sit and sat spit and spat they shat

And yet they riddled even that

With question marks remaining where
Both rat and cat know better than
To question ravens like some man

But ravens answer anyway
Sitting spitting shitting between
Doing their do saying their say
And palm trees might be what they mean

I think they shat out these palm trees

All I know is I got them free
And grateful for such gifts as these
I wonder if you wonder too
About ravens and what is true

Or reading ravens might be you
In which case they are everywhere
In poetry and in this tree

Second helpings of dates then thirds
Providing for themselves and me

Up in the sky down on the ground
Above below and all around
This shared shade of a shat palm tree

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jun 15, 2009, 6:20 am


Staying Home:
The Song of the Saving of Studio Lance


I am going to die with a smile on my face
No matter how much it hurts
A scapegrace escaping with grace
After getting my just deserts

I am going to die with a gleam in my eye
Simply since what I have seen
Adventuring through time and space
Is better than what might have been

I would die as I live with my heart on my sleeve
Having always worn it there
But there is here and though I die I would not leave
Not with luck and answered prayer

I am going to stay here with love in my heart
Having sweet days for dessert
Just deserving to love after hate played its part
No matter how much it hurt
Or does or will to live my fill
A scapegrace escaping with grace
To die with a smile on my face

I will meet death ahead where I left it behind
On my next coming around
Let the smile on my face then show I did not mind
Because I was homeward bound

I am a scapegrace who refused to escape without grace
Fairweather friends had faith I would lose and said so
But I had more faith than they did so I said no
That I would go down the hard way and yet: somehow I won

Halfway through the journey my life has begun
I live now to die with a smile on my face
Having won night by day when the journey is done
I will come back in death as in life to this place

After getting my just deserts
A scapegrace escaping with grace
No matter how much it hurts
I am going to die with a smile on my face

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jun 9, 2009, 10:01 pm


I Am Nobody

If nobody is perfect and I am nobody
Does the exception which proves the rule apply to me?

A curious circuitous immortality
Through rejection to reflection of divinity
By election to perfection through nonentity

You say I am nobody anyway
Yet nobody is perfect so you say

Am I the exception which proves the rule
To make some somebody nobody's fool?

If nobody is perfect and I am nobody
Then the exception which proves the rule applies to me

And I know of some somebody who so wants to be
As I am who must not be because some somebody
But nobody is perfect and I am nobody

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jun 8, 2009, 6:20 am


In the Nightblooming Garden of Destiny

Around the corners of the night
As the dark matter of the universe
Edges the limits of our sight
Since sometimes to see the unseen is worse
The flowers of our fates unfold

As here within our hands we hold
Each other's hands and all we are

This is the meaning of the falling star

But at the falling we
Are only asked to be

And I only ask you to be with me

Around the corners of the night
We hold our hands and all we are is right

Here we belong to us alone
Where the most beautiful things are not known
Yet comprehended just in case
If all we know is that this is the place
Our fates await wearing each other's face

In the nightblooming garden of destiny
At the falling we are only asked to be

(And I only ask you to be with me)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX











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Displaying Poems 1301 thru 1325 of 2792 Poems

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