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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1276 thru 1300 of 2778 Poems

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Oct 25, 2009, 10:16 pm


Fifty One Fifty (Two)

When I was in Unit Five we had the cage
Unit Three had none but had a black tar yard
Some were filled with sadness others filled with rage
All of it was madness (all of it was hard)

And my roommate was an angry amputee
In piss-soaked Unit Five where his screaming voice
Raged against the severed loss of his body
(I didn't want to meet him but had no choice)

In Unit Three I was with two quite quiet
And rather confused men who understood me
They liked to observe but avoid each riot
Becoming statisticians of lunacy

And though we were all sedated as zombies
(Or maybe because of that) there was trouble:
I had never seen such anger as in these
Broken ones each in their own fresh (popped) bubble

Impotent rage of broken futility
Struggling against the smugness of our masters
Led to some interpersonal disasters
But I met a girl there who remembers me

Just two crazy people in love you might say

And there was a lot of just that sort of thing
In that lockdown psychward awkward sort of way
As the thing that took away that sort of sting
Of realizing madness once (and for all?)

The only way is up from that sort of fall
But I'll be taking these madhouse memories
Wherever I'm going till when I'll be where
I find happiness (then: I'll call her from there)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 23, 2009, 7:04 pm


Silvergreen Saxophones

Saxophones swimming like dolphins and
Playing like porpoises far from land
Utterly free from the human hand:
Some saxophones seem to understand

I saw saxophones dancing together
It sounded as beautiful as it was
Bringing a warm interior weather

I learned all about this only because
This was a lifechanging moment for me
When I saw them singing their symphony

And then in the olive grove I recall
Seeing them shining in silvergreen leaves
And there they seemed most beautiful of all:
When it comes to saxophones one believes

I keep my ears open so I can hear
Of silvergreen saxophones swimming near

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 20, 2009, 7:11 pm


Coming with Drums

That which inheres is in here in this sphere
I am a parent to the inherent
Apparently as it inheres in me
A parent and also a child of this
Quintessential essence of my being

And when I feel this it feels like a kiss
A bringing to being of the freeing
Which is what inheres and what is in here
And this is the freedom of unity
That which inheres is in here in this sphere

I gather myself as a sphere of light
Formed of the photons and photographs of
Before and behind what was lived for love
Particulars and particles of right
Rhymed into reason inherent in here

That which inheres is in here in this sphere
Which is what inheres and what is in here
Is to give birth to my parents and me
As well as my children apparently
Gathering myself tonight as birthright

Though to be born is a sentence of death
Not to be born is to never exist
Only those born unto heartbeat and breath
Are ever alive who do not resist
This questioned life and its answered insight

The surprising lightning silently comes
But thunder is coming: coming with drums

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 17, 2009, 11:14 pm



Nightfall

The time has come I love the best
Of all
The way I find out west is west:
Nightfall

Wherever I am I watch the sun
Disappear
While it shines up a morning begun
Far from here

But while it is gone the stars and the moon
Against the black
Are so beautiful that it seems too soon
When it comes back

Where all of the magical secrets of night
Are spread out for me
And all is of silver (both tarnished and bright)
And of destiny

When night falls it is fallen with me now
Before we rise
Till morning breaks the other way somehow
To lift the skies

As lifting all of the fallen then
Day returns
Falling and rising are equal when
Hope still burns

A lonely candle in the dark
I wait
Being the fire though but a spark
Of fate

And I too wait for morning but
The end
Of day is mine no matter what
To spend

The sun a gold coin on the sea
Then the silver of ecstasy

The time has come I love the best
Of all
The way I find out west is west:
Nightfall

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 16, 2009, 9:49 pm


Smoking Like an Existentialist

Contemplating the riddle of time
(Smoking like an existentialist)
Establishing a new paradigm
After a fork in the road a twist
Into a sudden turn for the best
Having escaped at last from the worst
(And the best is better than I guessed)

Change is good as I am not the first
To realize (though it took awhile
To see)
But seeing at last it makes me smile
To be
Ready for whatever life might require:
Out of the frying pan! Into the fire!

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 13, 2009, 11:34 pm


Remember the Rain



The dove grey cloud bank slowly smoothly slides
Across the sky as it rides on the rain
Revealing the secrets the sunshine hides
The ones we forget till it rains again
Of how it falls and fills and feels and how
It is what we forgot about till now

So let the rain come down and wash away
All but the best of it (save that but not
The rest of it) only leaving today
Remember the rain the way we forgot
Till now how it falls and fills and feels and
How a raindrop feels sliding down your hand

Remember the rain
Till it rains again



+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 11, 2009, 8:52 pm


Modjeska

coming to the canyon

I once had a home and I lost it
I could not afford what it cost: it
Pretty much cost me everything I
Had then asked for more but that is why
I find myself in a quiet place
Where I can trace all the stars of space
The sun going up and coming down
Much more clearly than I could in town

So here I am with only wild birds
And the occasional rooster or
Other creature which never had words
But I have some and will have some more

Now: no looking back nor thinking twice
I think I have found my paradise
The universe found this new home for
A rambler who may not ramble much
But by this creek and these hills and such
Which is the best rambling anyway
And having come here to roll the dice
I think I have found my home today

When it rains and the water flows then frogs will come
As sure as the anything anyone knows some
Sounds I have seldom heard before will come to be
The background sound of a new life in a new place
Where I will embrace my fall in nature's embrace
With sounds of other new lives speaking peace to me
Ready to be in the middle of nowhere now
To find myself at the center of everywhere
Having learned the hard way to care and not to care
The rain the water and the frogs will teach me how
Here now in my new life afterlife state of grace

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Oct 10, 2009, 1:58 am


Silvergreen

I have seen
Olive leaves dry into old fashioned pen points
Fallen so far from silvergreen now they write
Their songs of themselves where olive oil anoints
Till they turn to soil and rush upward to light
Where the cycle is turning and returning
To the mother all her children in the end
The mother receives what no other could send
Through the centuries both of birth and burning
Silvergreen

Olive trees
Are all around where I live and I see them
As wise and as somehow comprehending me
As if they could be me or I could be them
In a similar cyclical destiny
Though they always seem wise as they scratch the skies
And I am not too certain that I have been
But olive trees could comprehend what I mean
That I want to be wise like old trees are wise
Trees like these

In between
Olive trees where branches join one another
Overhead where underfoot leaves are writing
Where all is the cycle all is the mother
Here I am where the mother is inviting
Having come the hard way of birth and burning
The mother receives what no other could send
But the mother to her children in the end
Where the cycle is turning and returning
Silvergreen

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 8, 2009, 5:54 pm


Temporary Permanence

getting up and living

The shadow is dark and the dark is deep
To simply fall away forever then
Into infinity falling asleep
The brighter to rise in the morning when
We are as though we always were before
Not remembering the beginning of
Temporary permanence anymore
Busy getting ready to rise again
And this is and we are what we call love
Getting down then getting up and living
Getting whatever it takes by giving

Love is what we call this ground of being
In which we move being seen and seeing
And touching as well as being touched by
Others as both a window and a door
But sometimes only a wall after all
Where the shadow comes from the sunny sky
To simply fall away and simply fall
Not so much away as not so much from
But sunny sky to make the shadow come
In temporary permanence: to die
Busy getting ready to rise again

Getting down then getting up and living
Getting whatever it takes by giving

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 3, 2009, 3:50 pm


Love is God

The universe rings like a temple bell
Is this the sound of silence in my ears?
Is there a heaven? And how about hell?
Well you can tell me where you are tonight

Fat cocksure preachers can keep all their fears
I am in heaven and I am all right
In the palm of the hand of God I dwell
In light everlasting where the sky sings

Fat cocksure preachers do not know these things
Only God knows and Love will never tell
Those who have already made up their minds
I leave them behind on their fat behinds

I may be odd but I know: Love is God

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Oct 2, 2009, 6:00 am


Morning

my first poem from Modjeska

Deep beneath the ocean there is motion
Something is stirring as if in its first
Tentative reaching toward what it knows not

And having hoped its bubble till it burst
Remembers a future it once forgot

Under the seven wonders of heaven
One wonders which one to wonder about
While wondering itself is what it takes

Till light within the shadow of a doubt
Beyond belief hopes morning till it breaks

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Sep 23, 2009, 12:54 am


Graveside at Fairhaven on the Eve of my Leaving

Their bodies lie below
I know
And they have gone away
Yet stay
Somehow
And they are with me now

Unlimited by place
They grace
Me at this time when I appreciate
They go with me
Wherever misfortune or fortune may
Send me to be

Their past is present in my future fate
As if they know

So: here I go

But I feel like they follow even so
"God bless all our loved ones" they used to pray
"Wherever they may be" and now I see
They are with me and (like me now) are free

Grandma and Grandpa: I drove your car here
(We always took care of what little we had)
And now it runs on memories
Of a time before the world and I went mad

And moments at graveside like these

I had to come before I go
But you are coming too (I know)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Sep 20, 2009, 2:20 pm




Whatever It Is

for Andrea Morales

It was a paradox somehow
Some side-effect of going mad
That the familiar things I knew
Took flight away from here and flew
Right at the same time I met you

And if you ask me I am glad
Because I like life better now
(I would choose life in a minute
Knowing now that you are in it)

Andrea: Andrea what can
I do or say to
Thank you properly other than
Tell you I love you?

And though this life is strange remain
In this world to do
My utmost time and time again
Since each day is new

And if you are with me no pain
On earth can separate me from
The heavenly from which you come
Where I want to be
With you here with me

Whatever it is we share this spark
Spanning time and space across the dark

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Sep 17, 2009, 2:24 am


Howling Moon

for Andrea Morales

If I remember right
It was just about midnight
A little before or behind
When I felt myself losing my mind
I felt myself losing to find
That the moon was howling bright
If I remember right

I lost myself to find myself at last
After throwing out the ghosts of the past
After losing myself to find what I
Amount to in the end before I die
And seeing myself in the mirror then
I saw how much I miss the now of when
Patterns of peace prevailed like dappled shade

I had no idea when I had it made
Was not as gracious as I could have been
Nor nearly grateful as I should have been
Because the universe supporting me
Was kind at the time as kind as could be
But when time turned this time it turned on me

Though time always flows and usually away
Sometimes it turns against us suddenly
Lives are turned inside out in a day
With shock and then uncertainty
As to what to do or say:
Is to go mad to go free?

If I remember right
In the middle of the night
Before and yet also behind
When I felt myself losing my mind
I felt myself losing to find
That the stars will fall tonight
If I remember right

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Sep 2, 2009, 11:35 pm



Waiting

I must resist the urge to read ahead
As I suppose that I would rather be
Something more like disappointed than dead

While still insisting curiosity
To just exist is something even though
To must exist without the mystery
Would be a disappointment even so
Since the itch would be dead if scratched ahead

So senses tingle now to wait and see
Time tell in its own tongue then when we know
When the book of life is opened and read

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Sep 1, 2009, 5:39 am


Seroquel Summer

Trying to leave time for eternity
He wound up psychiatrically jailed
But his house was auctioned from under me
His computer quit my telephone failed

I wonder when I think of what was lost
He wonders who will come to take my place
Which nothing less than everything has cost
The local eccentric in time and space

Has the hospital let him out too soon
To execute his exit now with grace?
If so may he carry me passively
Resistant to reason wrapped by the moon
Of this his madness my reality

To carry out the sentence so to say
Of a crazy old fool in denial
Smack in the dab of his hour of trial
Nobody meant for this to end this way

What would be better? Is there something more
Than what has ground us down to merely this?
Why do we live? What are we dying for
Now that we have lived both the curse and kiss
Of this our madness our reality?

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Aug 30, 2009, 12:11 am


Gone Gone Gone

Let the half-empty glass be seen as half-full
Although as illusion this might seem cruel
How after all one can nullify the null
As if placed in some nihilistic duel
As race to the bottom and oblivion

Curbside now that everything is gone gone gone
The glass my world however full or empty
So I prefer to see it as half-full now
The lotus and the wheel unfolding turning
My mind preceding my body in burning

Our betters know worse but know to not allow
For such complications as you or as me
Yet we end up being squeaking wheels and greased
Like pigs or lightning fast but slowly to learn
As we are to be the main course at the feast

Curbside now that everything is gone gone gone

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Aug 28, 2009, 11:33 am


Onlyness

Loneliness!

Onlyness?

Each in parallel universes here
A spear of there to pierce the sphere of here
A stake through the heart as far as it goes
"What does it mean?" We ask and no one knows

Where Kant cannot there Nietzsche would and will
He does because he is crazy like me
I take my Depakote and Seroquel
Psychotic poet doing pretty well

Love and fear wonder now what we will do
As here I am with no one left but you
Saving my soul from pill through pill to pill
Where Kant cannot there Nietzsche would and will

And you will be with no one left but me

Loneliness?

Onlyness!

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX







Aug 15, 2009, 5:51 pm


The Momentary Flyer

"...still the King of Prussia!"

Sometimes it might be better not to know
It might well be unbearable as well
So we find out where we go when we go
And when what happens happens time will tell
Both crueler and kinder not to see
The accident and the catastrophe
Sometimes it might be better even so

Descending in darkness end over end
Turning till it can turn no more
The momentary flyer must descend
As what a falling leaf is for
A sacrifice from earth to earth returned
Albeit thrillingly through air
To learn perhaps by fire what fire once learned

That which matters is everywhere
And ultimately has no place to be
But all at once and so is there
Because there is here neither far nor near
In equipoise of love and the
Immediacy of intimacy
Yet to know would to be frozen by fear

So we find out where we go when we go
And when what happens happens time will tell
It might well be unbearable as well
Sometimes it might be better even so
Both crueler and kinder not to see
Since falling is part of how it must be
Sometimes it might be better not to know

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Aug 15, 2009, 3:39 am


Across the Universe a Silent Song

for Leah

A long strong girl long suffering made strong
Growing determinedly going on
With being while seeing how it will be

How growing still keeps going all life long
Dawn to dusk following another dawn
The one by which from inside out I see

That though I am a boy from long ago
This long girl now strongly reminds me of
The reason we have suffered all along

That both of us are suffering for love
A suffering made beautiful to me
As I see her grow long and strong and wise

The hard way knowing that sometimes it takes
A boy from long ago to recognize
The lesson the suffering of love makes

Lovely now reflected in other eyes
Younger than mine with the same timeless tears
Milestones marked of the lesson of love learned

Left along like diamonds through the years
A path only wanderers who have earned
The scars of stars of suffering can find

Having brought together what it would part
When love at last leaves suffering behind
Eye to heart to eye heart to eye to heart

And ultimately eye to heart to hand
To hand extended to touch in the dark
We go to come to grow to understand

That we will grow to know us as we go
That we have known each other all along
What only those who suffer for love know

Tears become diamonds then stars to spark
Across the universe a silent song
Heard in the mind which I followed to find

A long strong girl long suffering made strong

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Aug 8, 2009, 4:56 am


Sunset to Sunrise

for Teddy and Darlene in the morning

Having lingered in the land of eclipse
In that shadowed place where time is running
Where history tried and failed to forget

Your course is set for the crack of dawn where
Mind takes flight beyond animal cunning
Where mystery outfascinates regret

You grow to know when you have gotten there
What evolution revolving (and yet
Expecting better) will dare you to bear

Evolving revolving leaving to stay
Tomorrow will rise as yesterday set
Mirrored the wrong way cleared for the long way

The strong way in which the strongest were met
Taking the chance at the point of the lance
Where mystery outfascinates regret

You toss and turn and turning toss today
To turn east with my last laugh on your lips

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Aug 1, 2009, 9:35 pm


Believe a Little Love

chorus mysticus

Beyond the cant of creed the rant of greed
Beyond that selfishness we shame to find
Believe a little love is what we need
Believe it through the heart into the mind
Which asking never knows without the heart
Which though mindful never knows anything
Yet believing knows how knowing will start
That before the mind speaks the heart will sing
The heart must sing before the mind may say

People have varying needs but above
And first unvarying people need love
Who eat and drink and sleep and yet deny
Themselves anything from now but never
Though love descends like manna through the day
They seem disappointed to age and die
So they tell tall tales about forever
To each other and explain it away
Clinging to the hope of the come what may

Beyond the cant of creed the rant of greed
Believe a little love is what we need
Believe it like a candle in the night
Flickering fragile like a lonely spark
Which though it seems small is the soul's birthright
The only light we know here in the dark
The only thing to ever mean a thing
What before the mind speaks the heart will sing
The heart must sing before the mind may say

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 28, 2009, 8:55 pm


Second Half

To have the last laugh
In the second half

And soon enough so

Although a tough go
To be laughing then

And be ready (when)

Is the best of all
The colors of fall

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 26, 2009, 10:16 pm


If I Hoped to Hope Once More

I

I might not have realized myself yet
But what evolves transcending cannot lie
It seems to come and go but you should know
As born to the earth and bound to the sky
Some of us are getting what we should get
And gratified I am resolved to try
To live in that moment just past regret

We might not realize it you and I
But we are both fortunate in that we
Who know even though we might not have met
That as we evolve transcendentally
We are together and resolved to try
To live in that moment just past regret
Where I have learned the hard way God is love

Hate is only hurt and what would bind me
As I seek and find the permission of
No one but this one and into the all
Myself the hard way should I rise or fall
With these great white wings above and behind me
I am not worried because I know the end
My wings are there to bear me as I transcend

II

We found one another and I find it
Is beautiful to know
You (get to see you grow)
To see what you will do
As you realize you
And it only matters if you mind it
Life taught you the hard way that this is true

We reached for one another through the dark
Washed up on the island of Plaza Park
Within an ocean foaming heedlessness
Without expecting to stumble upon
Some other sent by love to heal and bless
But remembered after summer was gone
With enlightened eyes on the prize we won

Thank you for being and being with me
For sharing with me as we begin to find
In meaningful patterns of destiny:

How we do not matter if we do not mind
How much there is to celebrate
How little to regret
How that which some call sin is hate
How love is fragile yet
How humankind can find fraternity
How we have found and find it you and me

And we only matter if we mind it
We found one another and we find it

III

Broke and broken as I am and always was
Of silver and gold having little to none
But of these heart-shaped shards enough to fashion
Some simulacrum of what I once hoped for
I could do this if I hoped to hope once more

Hope would be its effect as well as its cause
Hope inspiring hope inspiring hope in me
Of desirable desirability
Which is to say which is to see me daring
To offer myself for another's caring

I might not have realized myself yet
But what evolves transcending cannot lie
To live in that moment just past regret
As born to the earth and bound to the sky
Some simulacrum of what I once hoped for

I would do this if I hoped to hope once more

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX








Jul 21, 2009, 10:18 pm


Away When Done

Not even noon and I am terrified
I feel more than one does than I would feel
Such sharpness as my life is clarified
To satisfy the question of the real
But this is terrifying all the same
And only being human is to blame

Many who seem human never notice
These things I struggle with from day to day
Though as true as the unfolding lotus
Inexorable in their fatal way
Those ways we know the ends of our days shown
These overwhelm me when I am alone

As though one of the ones condemned to see
The shade in the sun see the wheel unspun
And mortality make a fool of me
Still I will put myself away when done
And till then I can only hope to be
If one who suffers from mortality

Like a disease as that which frees the butterfly
(They say)
Here now a mere caterpillar still I will fly

Away

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMIX











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Displaying Poems 1276 thru 1300 of 2778 Poems

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