Just as I thought nothing more could be done Criminals were crossing me off their list Mission accomplished bagged another one In this case one too depressed to resist Their inexorable smugness of power I sensed that something like hope had begun Had sprung up in the night a sudden flower
With the dawning summer now it rises To see a crooked lawyer cringe and sweat In an unblinking yet a winking sun He sees I am not easy to forget After all along the way to the fall So I opt for life as an optimist Since even the small had better stand tall As just deserts bloom sudden surprises
They tried to take it all from me and yet I am the most stubborn person I know They forgot something they must now regret That I never never never let go They were set to drag me from my front door But here I stand a fighting chance at last Dead or alive they will fool me no more
I fight for my future honor my past By standing my ground right here and right now And I have nailed my colors to the mast I will beat them or die trying somehow Dead or alive my honor will survive If I go down now I go for birthright Since even the small had better stand tall After all along the way to the fall
We all must fall: but not without a fight
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 12, 2006, 9:09 am
God Save Me and Her Majesty
I love the kids at Starbucks but Their coffee is too strong Like creosote no matter what Somehow it has the wrong Effect on me: I prefer tea
Part of my British heritage I serve myself at home for free A kindness in an unkind age
And then... there is the awkward fact I can no longer pay Despite their kindness and their tact Giving their tar to me I had better have tea today
God save me and Her Majesty
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 12, 2006, 12:53 am
Strong Tea and Hope
I will make strong tea and hope for the best As I told a kind and well-wishing friend And the best is better than it once was Maybe good enough to forget the rest Or at least the worst has come to an end
But best does not matter nor worst because Actually I live in the middle Somewhere between the bottom and the top If not a joke then at least a riddle In tea leaves or a microcosmic drop Wherein my future life is reflected
Or more likely just leavings in a cup Of the predestined and the elected Where at the bottom things are looking up
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 11, 2006, 3:12 am
An Opening Flower
What is it about you inspires me so Making me feel like an opening flower?
I thought I was grown but you make me grow As I taste your life I share in your power You fill me with the essence of your youth Which is nothing more nor less than the truth Of life the vessel of vitality
Yet only when you yourself have grown old Will you understand what you mean to me How you are my warm shelter from the cold Breath of death as you laugh mortality Back into the shadows where it must wait
My beautiful girl bright daughter of fate You bring me into light where I can see Life is worth living loving forgiving Inspired by your freedom I too break free Loving forgiving life is worth living
As I taste your life I share in your power Making me feel like an opening flower
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 10, 2006, 1:23 pm
Rainbow
The more I know the less I know I am no prophet nor do I Hear voices of the dead below Or angels speaking from the sky A mere and modest Lutheran Not active in the ministry A quiet vegetarian Teetotaling and scholarly I scarcely understand what you The living have to say to me
I hold some things as false some true Have known sweet joy and bitter grief Stubbornly clinging to belief In providential destiny For me a functional answer As well as a working question
Along with all humanity My birthright includes the cancer We give the name mortality And yet it is my suggestion That this arc of the human span Our rising falling trajectory What Shakespeare called the ages of man Is as beautiful as a rainbow Which we might as well ride all we can As the more we know the less we know
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 8, 2006, 6:38 pm
Buzz-Cut!
My hair now cut militarily Still grows on a peaceful head These bristles which could give rise to dread Guard the gourd of a very Mild-mannered man instead to keep cool Through firecracking summer days
Since I was a runty kid in school The summer buzz-cut always Brings back past lives which I remember Boisterous boyhood memories Of joys between June and September A buzz-cut is one of these
Hot sidewalks! Hoses! Shells and smells of shore! Sandstorms! Arizona August rain Sizzling on the street! Flashback To splash in a plastic wading-pool!
These are the things which can make time crack Bright memories to which I now add more Or just shine up the old ones again Time dries away! September comes too soon!
Buzz-cut and ready: I jump into June
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 7, 2006, 7:26 am
Six-Seven-Six
Today finds yesterday forgotten fast Six-Seven-Six arrives and finds us here The triple-six apocalypse has passed Into the Y2K of yesteryear As just another day nor yet the last But good for fun and folly played on fear
We had an election Yet still our infection Remains There seems to be no end Of rot no matter what No way to break nor bend Our chains
More war another hurricane or two And then the sleeping giant will arise No devil-face but one with human eyes To see what true apocalypse can do On just another day nor yet the last Tomorrow finds today forgotten fast
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 6, 2006, 12:25 am
Wings
When we are left with nothing to say And can only look on helplessly Our hesitant voices dried away To a desert of uncertainty When darkness falls to bury the day Then I hope you will remember me
When the time of troubles has begun And all debates and arguments cease As both rich and poor fall one by one To a calm which seems almost like peace Into the night when the day is done Then I hope I will remember you
When we find out this was all a lie And we were sheep misled and deceived Only one idea will never die With nothing else left to be believed Love will be our wings and we will fly To finally find out: it was true
Then I know you will remember me Then I know I will remember you
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 5, 2006, 2:55 am
Prelude and Fugue: Hamster Treadmill Universe
Having awakened from hours of nightmare To a waking reality made worse By the fact my only escape lies there Trapped in a hamster treadmill universe Which I cannot bear awake or asleep I wonder: what on earth do I do now?
I have lost my ability to weep My tears have all dehydrated away Only the absurdity of laughter In the face of death gets me through the day Then I am left feeling empty after Where grief used to be is nothing somehow
Nothing is fitting since nothing fits me Nor do I fit anything anywhere (A typical existential lament) Why am I telling you? What do you care? Your seeing eyes are blind my blind eyes see Yet we share a common predicament:
We are human here at the end of days As some of you call this time when we live Like feathers borne on the breath of always I wish I could persuade you to forgive Each other and me but I forgive you As my hamster treadmill nightmare comes true
Faster and faster I spin round and round I only wish I had gotten to know What it meant to be human after all I open my mouth to scream but no sound I open my eyes to see but no light I open my arms to fly but I fall
With only nothingness waiting below Perhaps I was wrong perhaps you were right But nothing really matters anymore I quested my best and I was impaled Upon the sacred spear drowned in the grail In death to succeed as in life to fail
I saw three ships and in the last one ...sailed
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 2, 2006, 10:55 pm
The Wise Live by Surprise
I walk beneath the waxing crescent moon Alone but embraced by the waning night Between the second and the third of June Somewhere between the darkness and the light Around half past night and quarter to day It seems like the sun might refuse to rise Who knows? It might have always been this way What if night is only day in disguise? I get so tired I can no longer tell If these skies are playing tricks on my eyes
Yet here and now is heaven more than hell Because I am held in such soft embrace I choose to believe things will turn out right For wanderers like me in need of grace And so I walk by faith and not by sight Step by step because there is no hurry I take my time because this is no race And you walk in circles when you worry In any case out here beneath these skies By night or day the wise live by surprise
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 1, 2006, 12:32 pm
The Golden Light of Summer
The golden light of summer dawns And rising takes me by surprise By dancing lightly on the lawns To lift my heavy winter eyes Which barely looked up through the spring Time turns as each year lives and dies But summer conquers everything Now as this golden light I see Looks very much like hope to me
May golden light of summer bring Us home to simpler kinder ways And may we lose our suffering Within those brighter better days Which summer was and is always
Remember who you are and were As you unfold as you will be Remember him remember her All of those friends and family On whom this golden light now dawns Shining within the memory And dancing lightly on the lawns Who rising take us by surprise To lift our heavy winter eyes
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
Jun 1, 2006, 1:59 am
Totenstille
Now as I reach the age they were back when The old ones were silent and serious I know how it felt to be German then Their silence no longer mysterious
The yoke of history is hard to wear So heavy even if "we were nowhere Near and knew nothing about it at all"
Raised voices are lowered after the fall In dust and ashes lies the memory As silence becomes the witness we bear To bury the burden of history
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 31, 2006, 3:34 am
Love
The season is turning As all living things do Summer is returning And warms me through and through
I feel myself learning How much I care for you And to appreciate How your soul and my soul How your fate and my fate Are parts of one great whole Unending unbegun
And love is the reason A whisper in the air Turning with the season Returning with the sun
All living things are one Forever everywhere
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 29, 2006, 7:32 pm
The Evening Sacrifice
In my youth the dentist was Doctor Weld A philosopher who was kind to me The organist at church was Doctor Held We sang Bach and then talked of destiny Odd memories realities no more I learned to write chorales like Bach myself Such things as these the verities to soar At Concordia University Now my doctor has my books on his shelf
I think a lot about philosophy Perhaps now is after then was before But what? I think of them both now and then Of whom? Of Doctor Weld and Doctor Held Like: do they live or die? And: how or when? How do I live or die? Not very well (In te Domine speravi) today! I did not have to die to go to hell (Non confundar in aeternum I pray)
If philosophers live in limbo I Suppose this is where I am live or die Now: no then no how no when and no more Since now is neither after nor before I have nowhere to go and so I stay (In te Domine speravi) Today Is the lifting up of my empty hands (Non confundar in aeternum I pray) The evening sacrifice God understands
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 27, 2006, 7:48 pm
Never and Always
If I should see those lips being kissed By another unworthy of her Then I would see those joys I have missed Which will always be yet never were How they could never belong to me We will always be a fantasy
Dreams never die but I do and you No one can live as long as dreams do I have had enough of dreams and pain To last me past the end of my days I hope I never see her again But I will remember her always
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 27, 2006, 6:27 am
When I Hold Hands With You
It comes to a point where there are no more words Just dewdrops sparkling diamonds in the sun Drying birth-dying and flying into one Reality gathers to scatter like birds As the universe is born anew today But day and night are terms which do not apply
Night is on holiday having flown away To turn our tears to stars to dance in the sky Which takes time but is well worth it I am told Matters of time matter not since you and I Have jumped its fence to grow yet never grow old Here past day and night and all the former things Beyond the limitations of life and death
Where consciousness spirals in concentric rings Or floats forever free lifted by the breath Of All we fall to rise in skies always new Into the limitless blue which is the mind Of All we fall to rise past lies to the True Taking the best we leave all the rest behind
This is how it is when I hold hands with you
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 25, 2006, 9:45 pm
Bowl Riddle
My empty hands before me form a bowl Which might look empty yet is filled with grace The yin and yang which represent my soul These hands filled with manna before my face Are incomplete apart together whole My bowl by which to catch heavenly rain Two hands at the crossing of time and space And I need not hunger nor thirst again
Stand here at the crossing of life and death With me for a time and keep watch with me Feel how your heart beats listen to your breath Make a bowl of your hands and destiny Will fill your empty hands with grace so real That they become great wings by which to soar
Most people who seem alive never feel Nor know there are whole realms of being more Than anything they could conceive before Life blooms like a rose it turns like a wheel We are more than beasts not only birds fly We journey the universe standing still The earth and the sea the fire and the sky Belong to those with empty hands to fill
Now may you know the riddle of my song You had your bowl there with you all along
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 25, 2006, 6:43 am
Just Before Dawn
At a time when life can be hard to bear Both clarifying and terrifying I celebrate those people of good will Who in the face of discouragement dare Despite the despair in the air to still Have open minds and arms and hearts who care For those like me less fortunate than they And out from the faithful heart's fountain share The communion of their kindness today Meeting us at the point of our need where They could have but they did not turn away
I never knew winning until I lost I never succeeded until I failed I never realized what freedom cost My ship never came in until it sailed I needed nothing until all was gone First terrifying then clarifying Now it is darkest yet just before dawn
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 23, 2006, 2:25 pm
Free!
When day and night are one With neither moon nor sun When I can find no star
Drowning in the dark with the light too far Away to bless my distress too depressed To further fight too heavily oppressed To float now sinking ready to let go The will to survive arrives and I know There must be a reason I am still here And instead of death comes the death of fear
This is the birth of grace The dawn before my face That the light is in me
The everlasting daystar of my destiny Surprises me rises and I see: I am free!
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 22, 2006, 6:36 pm
Shadows
I have given my clothes To my son who outgrows Then returns them to me
He keeps getting taller I keep looking smaller Than all my family Just by staying the same While the son with my name Grows like a mighty tree
And he is not alone He is but one of three Descendants who arise To make me realize What I have always known Their descent is ascent
I stand admiringly In loving shadows now Of hope which I can see
Life passed me by somehow But I know where it went
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 20, 2006, 8:32 pm
Frowning Upside Down
"How are you?" is an existential question Ultimately unanswerable to me What does this mean and what kind of suggestion Does this make for my moment in history? It is not as if it were just me alone When asked this I think about society The world and fate the state of which is unknown But because I am asked while standing in line I have learned the expected answer is "fine"
Inasmuch as I do not have cancer nor Am I in other than existential pain With the usual plagues pestilence and war Next time they expect me to be "fine" again For a moment suspending dubiety That absurdity's grace might be mine again To keep dancing let the Titanic slide down While maintaining my proper propriety Without making trouble frowning upside down
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 19, 2006, 10:04 pm
May it Make You Free!
My daughter wept when Bush was re-elected But it turned out just as I had expected Nonetheless it broke my heart for her to see There is no justice in an oligarchy
And I used to wonder when all this took place When democracy turned out to be a lie Yet they always lied to us right to our face Kept us numbed with television hypnotized Stole from us and sent us off to war to die
I was about her age when I realized That all their fancy words meant nothing at all
We are not important we do not matter They step on us consume us and get fatter I have seen them strutting all my fifty years And now I can see them stumble see them fall To drown in our sea of disillusioned tears
My child if there is a future you will be One who will know the truth: may it make you free!
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 19, 2006, 4:53 am
Look Us in the Eyes
I have noticed that for some to feel snug Living in their skins dying in their sins They find it necessary to be smug Looking down on others as thus begins Their disconnect from commonality With us as though on islands all their own Living their lives devoid of empathy
Having left us for dead they live alone In shrink-wrap without solidarity With those of us outside here looking in We who find snugness alternatively Together in exclusion skin to skin
Their smugness stings their selfishness brings pain But they will pay dearly and soon someday They will never look down on us again
We face them as they squirm to look away
They fear us more than anything on earth They know their days are numbered as we rise They see their death awaken in our birth We see their smugness falter as we say Our time has come now: look us in the eyes
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 18, 2006, 5:53 am
On the Sword We Live By
He would singlehandedly save the republic Except for the fact he cannot catch the public Eye (ay ay ay): he was not born to be a star
When playing at poetry he is at his worst He will not be the last as he is not the first To find himself deluded by ego in vain
And (oops) here comes another monster hurricane To blow his party line away and rearrange The climate of his thinking on our climate change
(Poor man! No one will tell you what a fool you are) Trying to talk to a nut on the Internet Is the most futile exercise conceived of yet
Those who sit in judgment find themselves judged instead When ideology Becomes idiocy
Assuming and presuming until life is dead As we live so we die On the sword we live by
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMVI
May 17, 2006, 5:12 am
Manatee Man
The manatee man cannot see his penis He guesses if it were longer he could Guesses again if it were longer would He be in his dilemma? No matter: He is on the go while growing fatter Out on the town now in search of his Venus
Huffing and puffing smiling but bluffing Sweating profusely hoping obtusely As only an amorous manatee man With a will and a way and money can do
Money can be glamorous (he knows it can) And he is willing to spend Whatever they charge For a temporary friend Looking to live large With a will and a way and dinner for two
Or maybe for three for four or for more When pigs fly and when manatee men soar
