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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1201 thru 1225 of 2765 Poems

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Feb 13, 2010, 8:00 am


Now?

Nothing is as bad as depression makes it seem
Reality is never half so bad
It feels like a nightmare although it is a dream

Unconsciously afraid consciously sad

The future was not bright for me
Nor was the present right for me
The past was left but gone

How
Else to go but to go on
Now?

Time of times in timeless flow
Edge of the moving stream
Of consciousness of time and space
Beyond these as their transcendental grace

The intersection of it all
The point as great as it is small

The human race turns over in its dream
Of here and it is where
The existential asking place
Is and it is asking there

Where everywhere is now so now I know

Nothing is as bad as depression makes it seem
The human race turns over in its dream
And suffocates the sufferer
As it were

But if I should awaken tomorrow I might
Be able to figure it out
But am already having a nightmare tonight
Which only awakens my doubt

And yet having left the light on
I see
The past has left but gone
To be

Nothing was as bad as depression made it seem
Reality was never half so sad
It felt like a nightmare although it was a dream

A point as great as it was small
The intersection of it all

And when I awakened I dreamed I had gone mad

How
Else to go but to go on
Now?

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 11, 2010, 9:04 pm


To Transcend

for Gerald Tate

May I transcend someday somehow and may
Death the ineluctable
Come as it will nor would I elude it
To find indestructible
This old soul when young life has renewed it
To rise again and to be
The continuing quintessential me
And the how it will be now will be right
If I am to rise and am to go on
I will if forgotten at least not gone

I have found existence to be painful
And deity when it deigned disdainful

Oh leave me alone to do as I please
I just want to say
But this is how I defeat our disease
To transcend this way
And I will be freer than anything
I ever imagined before in my
Pretranscendental perspective I bring
So painfully to bear before I die
I want to transcend and I want to sing
How I never dreamed I could get that high

Human life does not so much have an end
As rather a point at which to transcend

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 11, 2010, 5:46 am


Actors

Here we have no continuing city
Here we are wandering and homeless souls
We may not seem it while sitting pretty
But out on the street and hitting potholes
Then is when we feel it then when we know
As actors who are at our best in tragic roles

The dog came to me and offered his bone
And so I see how I am not alone

Here I get depressed and disappointed
Here I know what but cannot see how
Feeling disconnected and disjointed
Needing to reconnect now with always
As if it were forever even though
I know my always is only my now

The girl came to me and offered her kiss
And I have known nothing better than this

Here we build walls to keep each other out
Here we use fear to keep each other in
It seems to me the purest faith is doubt
And I have faith in my doubt about sin
But guess sin would be whatever hurts me
Whatever hurts you would be sin then too

And so I see how I am not alone
And I have known nothing better than this

We will have to stop hurting ourselves to be
Worthy of ourselves and being seen to see
Then seeing out from in see our way to begin
And being and seeing and freeing our souls
As actors who are at our best in tragic roles
When the dog and the girl and I will all be free

+Steven Curtis Lance



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Feb 8, 2010, 9:24 pm


Love in Hell

There was a girl in the psych ward
Who stood out from the rest
Because she warily ignored
Everyone there but me

Margaritaritamargarita

Scary clowns in hospital gowns
Noticed how she was dressed
(As if they noticed anything)
I noticed she was bored

Margaritaritamargarita

She noticed silkscreened Bob Marley
On me and smiled at me
She sent me through the ups and downs
And I began to sing

Margaritaritamargarita

Sad clowns shuffled out of our way
Alive in Unit Five
We decided to live that day
Though damned and in hell's hive

Margaritaritamargarita

She took my book a trophy to
Dinners of nothing but
Air only air (and knew I knew)
Far as the eye could see

Margaritaritamargarita

If I go back no matter what
I know where she is there
And I know she will remember
August in September

Margaritaritamargarita

A ballerina from Russia whose smile
All white teeth and fragility
Within a mask of pain
Made me forget we were crazy awhile
Inciting possibility
And we will meet again

Margaritaritamargarita

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 8, 2010, 12:29 am


The Modjeska Manifesto

As life follows water so I am here
Like one of these oak trees I will stand by
Modjeska Creek be it muddy or clear
And even God forbid though it run dry
Here where I have come here where I will stay
Here where after a long night dawns my day

Jaya guru deva om: transeamus

This is where someday my flesh will give way
This is where I want my remains to lie
This will be my canyon of come what may
This is where I want what remains of my
Poetry and music I leave behind
To live within the landscape of your mind

Jaya guru deva om: shake the chains loose

I would like my children to come and see
What I can come up with here at the end
As I facilitate felicity
That everyone know that I am a friend
That I am the father of those who fight
To see who struggle upward toward the light

Jaya guru deva om: transeamus hodie

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 7, 2010, 11:29 am


Looking Up

God (whoever you are) I love you
You are on top and nothing is above you
But I here below
(For one) would really like to know
You better

I believe you are there
And that you will receive this prayer
By letter
Not of the law but of my hand
Not much to say but only just
A little note from me to you because I must
Because I believe you understand

Look down and see that this is only
Me looking up and feeling lonely
Where we have met before
And I am too hard to get along with to be
Successful in relationships apparently
Of which I want no more
(Entangling alliances seem what they are)

Whereas you God are cooler than a distant star
Classical and noble and objective
While I am romantic and poor and subjective
You are on top and nothing is above you
God (whoever you are) I love you

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 5, 2010, 10:32 pm


The Revelation

"As a man thinketh, so is he." -- Jesus Christ

At this late hour now finally I see
How the me of you is a point of view
How attitude affects reality
How what I think determines what I do
And how I think makes me how I will be

I see now how it was all in my head
How all my life was just a state of mind
I wanted to be but I was instead
And trying to get ahead got behind

But at this late hour now finally I
Can see myself beyond myself at last

And am surprised to see me satisfy
Myself that for a fool I wised up fast
Breaking through a lifetime of being near
To being to seeing how it is here

Everything is beautiful if I let
It be if I let the lotus unfold
I remember now how good to forget
It is and I grow young as I grow old
Because how I think is how I will be

At this late hour now finally I see

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 4, 2010, 7:22 pm


Thank You

for Aurora and Robert

Thank you for making it possible for me
To be and to write this poetry

If I were a plumber I might be wealthy
But am not that mentally healthy
And all I know how to do is make these rhymes

So I want to thank you for these times
Of rebirth and afterlife as I
Survive my own best efforts to die

I choose to be and to write this poetry
Thank you for making it possible for me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 4, 2010, 3:38 am


Happy

I want to be happy just like you do
Like everyone else in the world does too
Everyone wants to be happy I know
All of us seem to agree about this

It hurts to live but we hurt to live though
Time will play tricks while we wait for the kiss
Of that little sprinkle of fairy dust
We dream about (since in our dust we must)
Of that little sparkle of magic we
Tingle to when we sense the presence of
A member of our mortal family
And sense the possibility of love

I suppose it could be we are only
So alone with ourselves we get lonely
For someone other someone not the same
But we try not to be too distinctive
So the same someone finds no one to blame

Alienation and our instinctive
Fight-or-flight play out invertedly in
An endgame of just waiting to begin
For treasure island exiles washed ashore
For whom the tide returns to ask for more

I want to be happy just like I was
Or just like I remember as a child
But cannot be sure which is which because
One was the hope of happiness to come
Then one what came instead the distance from
One to the other one unreconciled
Though neither one believes in Santa Claus

Childhood is gone and adulthood goes fast
And no one ever told us it would be
That the worst thing at present is the past
In spite of all those memories we see
I might as well save the future for last
Here now as I am at the edge of me
Like everyone else in the world does too

I want to be happy just like you do

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 2, 2010, 9:02 pm


In Spite of All the Religions of Man

In spite of all the religions of man
And how man would control woman thereby
When he neither controls himself nor can
He be persuaded (by woman) to try

Man with his hopes and his popes and his creeds
Is up at night looking to meet some needs
Maybe remaking himself in the sky
But more than anything afraid to die

And yet I feel like something is out there

Like a god or the ghost of my mother
And I still pray and when I say a prayer
I can perceive the presence of other

I seem to be getting all my needs met
But by what or whom I cannot tell yet
Except a light of other in the night

In spite of all the religions there are
Or not it seems like something like a star
A spark in the dark as human birthright

And not mere manly function of control
But a flicker of freedom for the soul
(Which organ seems to exist to resist
The busybody and the moralist)

In spite of all the religions I know
I somehow believe in God even so
And he or she would seem to me to be
Better than they say (or is that just me?)

Take control away from them and be free

Can there be a god? I believe there can
In spite of all the religions of man

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 2, 2010, 8:09 am


You Knew

You said it was the zeitgeist and I knew
That I thought I knew that you did not know
Your zeit from your geist but then that was you
And you did it well so I let it go

But I knew what you meant and now I think
That you could tell the ghost of the time then
Though I could tell later there on the brink
In those days I was never quite sure when
You might be feeling serious someday
And turn (because I could not turn away)

Then someday you felt serious at last
And it was my privilege to be there
When one became another's answered prayer
(Nor does this go away though time flow fast)

Being and wanting to be I embrace
Being as it is unfiltered and raw
And through your honest eyes I have seen grace
And though it has been a hard freeze a thaw
And you did it well but then that was you
You said it was the zeitgeist and you knew

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Feb 1, 2010, 7:58 am


Nocturne in Blue Velvet

Beneath blue velvet canyon walls
Where the night falls
Like dew

There I have been dreaming about
Having a doubt
Or two

But when I wake up I will see
How good to be
With you

The spring will come the summer then
The seasons when
We knew

The fall the winter then again
The all
Of it to fall
As in love with you as I do

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 31, 2010, 5:43 am


Full Moon Modjeska

Full moon Modjeska lightning in the creek
A moon like the biggest egg ever laid
As spoken by an oak tree as we speak
And one is born here and another made
And both transfixed by the moonlight tonight
Full moon Modjeska will always be right

And who is it right for? For those who are
Full of the moon floating round the creek bend
Not too much in a hurry for a star
Or two nor in a hurry to sit still
And maybe a little bit stubborn too
Maybe a little bit shyer than you
With a heart for wonder an eye for thrill

It was always like this actually
And I would have been here before if I
Had the chance to as I was when I could
I knew I would live here before I die
Before I came Modjeska came to me
And now we come together understood

Full moon Modjeska magic in the air
This is the any of my anywhere

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 29, 2010, 9:36 pm


Free

I had to lose all that I had
In order to be free
To lay the good down with the bad
In order to find me
And when all fell away I stood
As naked as newborn
But in that dawn I understood
Blessed are those who mourn

And when all fell away I was
Revealed so I could be
And I was not ashamed because
The quintessential me
Was liberated though it cost
Me all and everything
With what I won and what I lost
Laid bare by suffering

I left behind but could not hide
The things I left without
And having nothing left but pride
To justify my doubt
I realized that nothing is
What I brought and will take
And God made me between these his
To let the maker make

I lost the life I knew to find
If I am to exist
And am to bloom to be my mind
Must open nor resist
That to be fitted for the sky
I must sit quietly
Accept the gift to live and die
And rise in victory

Forgotten wings unfolding now
To catch the wind again
Will bear me though not knowing how
Beyond remembered pain
Which was all that I thought I had
Except that it had me
To find my reason going mad
And through the dark to see

I lost my way a little while
Until I lost it all
But seeing now and being smile
A phoenix from my fall
And God who made me makes me grow
According to his grace
That though I stumble even so
I win the human race

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 26, 2010, 12:08 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1429:
Nice to Be Now Then


a Valentine

Now is always the best time because
No time like the present of what will be
Now is all there is or ever was
No time like the present and now for me
To be to unwrap the present: but how?

It was so long ago we did not know
Not yet anyway like we do today
That everything we did was dangerous
As we unwittingly endangered us

But then we survived and now we are here
When we have arrived and when we appear
And when we must be then we must be now

So nice to be current and concurrent too
So nice to be now then when now is with you

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 26, 2010, 6:00 am


Creekside

Creekside here what you hear is the flowing
The rustling past of rushing recent rains
And though it flow away in the knowing
I know the flood flowing with growing pains

As I am the flood as I connect to
The nature of growing things flowing through
There to where creekside waters are growing

And this new year is my first season here
And so what do I know but it seems clear
That I have become a part of this place
At the crossing of this time and this space

And though it flow away in the knowing
The flood is within me as it must be
Creekside here what you hear is the flowing

First flowing then knowing I take the trip
As though by time machine or by spaceship
As creekside I wonder if I might find
The answer to the question on my mind

I have been out in the rain a long time
I have been busy but been left behind
Filling up thousands of pages with rhyme
In a universal relationship

And I stood on the threshold of death when
From out of the shadows life questioned me
To answer by those who loved me and then
Who freed my mind to think creatively

Perhaps past past pain now beyond the noise
Of imbalance I can find equipoise
Nature aspiring conspiring with me
Since both of us only know to flow free

And though it flow away in the knowing
The flood is within me as it must be
Creekside here what you hear is the flowing

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 25, 2010, 10:09 am


Wondering

I waited so long I forgot about
Whatever it was I was waiting for

When I was young I needed it no doubt
But now I must not need it anymore

So something which once seemed necessary
Has turned out to be just temporary

Except a nagging curiosity

A feeling almost like I need to know
Keeps wondering "is it too late for me?"

But... in the end I turn away and go

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 24, 2010, 8:13 am


The Thing About Poetry

I like to dream beautiful things up for
Us to enjoy taking less making more
Getting giving gotten when giving pays
Taking and making up out of my dreams
The best it could be beyond what it seems

I take a pinch to make a bushel of
The fruit of dreams grown from the seed of love
This is the meaning of my days and ways
And nothing is more meaningful than this
Taking and making a dream like a kiss

When a dream like a kiss is coming true
I feel validated in what I do
I make it and then when it should it stays
Then I know when I make something to be
Bigger than both of us better than me

And this is the thing about poetry
Opening the mind and closing the door
Taking now and then making it always
Enriching the world though remaining poor
Making something to be better than me

Bigger than both of us better than me
And this is the thing about poetry

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 23, 2010, 11:53 pm


My Neverending Holiday

The creek thunders by in rapids today
But muddy waters are becoming clear
And seeing I am I might as well be
The best I can bathed by sheer beauty here
In a place where I can be happily

Having unwittingly conquered the fear
Which brings down stronger if less innocent
People who do more to help themselves but
Perhaps do not share my simple intent
To be a poet now no matter what

Carried by the creek this is where I went
And now the canyon chooses me to stay
Arriving here without having to choose
Without ever meaning to go away
Ending up creekside with nothing to lose

Modjeska Canyon calls me to come home
As a naturalized Modjeskan now
To settle by her creek and I have come
Where dreams come true without my knowing how
On this my neverending holiday

And if you come to see me you will see
That this is where I am supposed to be

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 22, 2010, 7:54 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1428: Modjeska in the Rain

The rainy season is here it is clear
The rain has come and has not gone away
Of course we might have dried and died without
And who am I from down in town to say

The rain has taught the whispering to shout
The creek sounds like a train arriving here

Not that it bothers me as I enjoy
The process of the canyon turning green
The nature we love we know can destroy
But the fat years tend to follow the lean

And here we have the process seen entire
Heaven enough for each to wish a star
Where life is more intense because we are
Children of the earth wind water and fire

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 22, 2010, 1:31 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1427: The Jungle

So now weary wanderer you have come
Out of your element out of your mind
Slogging through the jungle further than some
Of us who knew you might have predicted

And having left hope with your things behind
And having reevaluated home
You are surprised to see yourself happy

Waking the dream was not as depicted
It seemed rather like a nightmare to me

In their warm bathwater hippos submerge
The jungle is quiet in balance now
This is when weary wanderers emerge
To ask questions and make trouble somehow

Submerge and emerge go and come and see

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 21, 2010, 3:52 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1426:
The Breaking Through


for Bernard Betts

If I were to say nothing it would speak
As well of me as anything I say
When life is like a balloon with a leak
Which in spite of this is floating away

If I were to do nothing it would make
A case for nothing doing nothingness
But I think I should do what it would take
To make a statement of more out of less

And if a sonnet should ever transcend
Then it would be connected at the root
The soil of which the dust of who depend
And fall to where the question then is moot

I have to say something and I must do
Whatever it takes for the breaking through

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 20, 2010, 11:29 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1425:
Being in the Rain


I hoped I was when I wanted to be

I hoped so much I finally became
Something of a simulacrum of me
Evolving myself by another name

But the hardest thing I ever did was
To simply let go and know I am free

I feel I am coming to life again
And how the rain is coming and has come!

The dry days were not like this nor gave clue
(Not counting those false starts whenever some
Hopeful appearance turned out to be dew)

Yes: they said it would rain here and it has!

And it is and it will and it thrills as
I am immersed in being in the rain

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 19, 2010, 7:56 pm


Canyon Call

a Modjeska moment

The canyon calls to people she would see
Woven in her fabric of family

From whom she calls she winnows for her own
Those who know about being a neighbor
Who can respect each other alongside
Yet understand about being alone
Capable of grit and farmyard labor
And not too afraid of fire nor mudslide

Not everyone who comes here ought to stay
But those who should could never stay away

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jan 18, 2010, 2:11 am


Chickens

I have often wondered what chickens know
I know they know to be chickens and that
Seems enough for them as it ought to be
For me but still I wonder about it

Their world is simpler their earth is more flat
But they know to be themselves even though
If I heard they knew more I might doubt it
But then I see the way they look at me

A chicken seems an automatic thing
If to be admired for its persistence
Waking and sleeping scratching and pecking
Seemingly unexamined existence

When looking at a chicken eye to eye
I see neither of us knows anything
But living to try by grace not to die
To handle whatever is happening

I doubt a rooster ever thinks of death
Except perhaps to see it happens when
It happens that the cockadoodle breath
Stills for the heedless in headlessness then

We humans fret about dying so much
The thought of it overshadows our days
Yet though chickens end up frying and such
They scratch and peck content with chicken ways

I have often wondered what chickens know
They seem to accept their mortality
Whatever they know they thrive even so
And in that way they know better than me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX










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