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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1151 thru 1175 of 2827 Poems

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Sep 1, 2010, 9:15 pm


Clouds

The clouds were wearing wedding white when they gossamered grey as day turned night
And then after dark they wrapped themselves in softest sable of raven black
They were light and then shadow and then they were gone on a day further on
Beyond the future present as presented by the wind as it blew past

The clouds passed over and away too fast but I will not forget that way
They looked that day that way they would if they would come back again if they could
Bearing their whispered witness by the wind in the sky again and again
So many clouds and so many more I have not seen but have seen before

The clouds were wearing funeral black when the wind came due and blew them back
Blown away the way I know on the breath of the universe I must go
But if only I could understand I might not be quite so lonely when
The wind carries me inevitably away someday when now is then

Someday to come to comprehend the way the universe borrows to lend
Around and around receiving to send and turning and returning where
What turns returns where one who learns this way finds the freeing of being there
In a heart where love grows when it knows as it comes and goes around the sun

I have to know if I have to go that nobody ever goes anywhere
That there is always here as here is always everywhere that all is one
And then for when the wind carries me inevitably away someday
To come to go but to know the freeing of the being of everywhere

The clouds were wearing wedding white when they gossamered grey as day turned night
The clouds passed over and away too fast but I will not forget that way
The clouds were wearing funeral black when the wind came due and blew them back
Whatever the clouds are wearing we turn returning to eternity

However we look whoever we are we spiral each a rising star
If lonely only because we have not met ourselves in each other yet
Remembering myself along the way I know the clouds will not forget
That way that day which they remember up to down but it is this same way

What turns returns where one who learns this way finds the being of everywhere
Though the night is long the journey longer still I know I will find it there
In a heart where love grows when it knows as it comes and goes around the sun
That there is always here as here is always everywhere that all is one

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 31, 2010, 6:04 pm


Arriving

Fifty-five years alive and older than I ever
Dreamed it to be possible for me to be
Nor do I feel it somehow I who once said "never
Trust anyone over thirty" but never does
Not seem now because I am who I was
Even though a quarter of a century past:
Now is not never now is forever

I have gone on but I have not left me behind
Still having my improbable child's body
A legacy of my idiot savanthood
Still having my still more improbable mind
All more or less accepted if not understood
And do I trust myself? I believe I do at last:
Now is not for striving now is for arriving

Myself and I have been through a lot together
It has been very strange and subject to change
Encouraging times through discouraging weather
Like a red eye flight through a very long night
But I can see the sunrise from my window now
As arriving I have a good feeling somehow:
And here I am world! Are you reading me?

When the world seems it is ending is when it begins
For me anyway just to get my attention
And the one who knows what goes around comes back around wins
A new world a day of intention and invention
As the closer I look the further I see:
Now is not never now is forever
Now is not for striving now is for arriving

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 26, 2010, 12:10 am


To Be a Star

There was thunder and lightning the night I was born and
As a child the adults could never understand
How I knew what I knew but I had read ahead
And reading behind if not all the way through
Some posited that I might be possessed instead
Meaning by the devil as if everybody knew
Since some are always imagining something

But simply self-possessed and unimaginary
Imaginative certainly a dreamer born to be
Existing to imagine what else I might find
Transcending as it were by curiosity
Being on my own alone with what is and what does
And tuning to my inner specificity
I began to feel how specific I was

I gazed at stars and noticed how some others were
Shining around me like stars in the sky
Free of credit and of blame of pride and of shame
Getting it straight by keeping the point in mind
At the point of a point of bright light in the night
The point being love above everything
That we are love and love is what we do

And my mother was one so I became like her
Opting to embrace my opportunity
Having had done with the imaginary some
Aspiring toward a more perfect propinquity
Knowing where I came from and remembering my name
I decided that to live by love was worth a try
And by loving me and everybody I have overcome

Knowing who you are is the way to be a star
Opening your heart to be the star you are
To be here free and clear to see the now is how
And to be as we were meant to be is why
Just as to be content and continent within your own
Specificity albeit paradoxically
Is when not to be alone then in December

Knowing when young then growing old remembering
Who you are remembering that you are a star
Knowing now and later in December to remember
The star you are the specificity you bring
To the universe to never stop discovering
And knowing the point and being love above everything
Be and do because the thunder and the lightning are for you

Fall and rise again and you will learn to fly
Up and down and up until you reach the open air
To get up there where you belong or else by trying die
But everybody dies so keep on trying and get there
Remembering that we are love and love is what we do
So go on with the show and play your part with all your heart
No matter where it leads you even when it seems too far

Knowing who you are is the way to be a star

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 19, 2010, 4:57 pm


Night in the City

It is night in the city and the light is bright
But shadowed now and not quite real like how you feel
When you have been burning the candle at both ends
And what end do you hold on to? Well that depends
On if the center holds and what is holding you

Night in the city of the living and the dead
Who when living were dying then to get ahead
But neither here nor there they found themselves nowhere
And having gone too far now wonder where they are
But I am living here in the city instead

Night in the city at one time was so pretty
But one time looks a lot like another time now
When there have been too many times for me to see
Witnessing firsthand the unfolding of always
And overhearing what the disappointed say

Some of them say the city has gone bad or mad
And then some say the city is not what it was
As it is what it is and it does what it does
While others say the city has seen better days
And yet what day is better to see than today?

But other times and other places interpose
Memories of other times and places like these
Between what was and what will be at what is now
Having been and seen too much I remember those
Things you might have remembered to forget somehow

And it interferes that some of my heres are there
And that some of my nows are then now and again
But I suppose remembering those is just what
I must do and if not forget then at least not
Regret what I cannot forget at least not yet

But when my heart is always I am everywhere
And this is the higher me to which I aspire
Passing time through space to a sense of place by grace
At the center of the universe wherever
I find myself to be so I find myself free

When night in the city is pretty forever
With its elements of earth air water and fire
Reconciled in balance as its seasons revolve
Belonging the city belongs to us because
We and the city are as one as we evolve

And though the city is a place of belonging
We are lonely by nature and lonelier where
So many people are with so many needs there
Being met and unmet in close propinquity
Night in the city and you can feel the longing

I dream back in time to this place and remember
The beauty of the duty of the people who
Built the city for one another to be in
Back in the May I remember in December
As what ends in the city brings what to begin

Things I forgot to remember about somehow
Since one time looks a lot like another time now
But this looks like as good a time as any to
Stop dying trying as the living dying do
And not try anymore at all but doing be

I want to be the higher me alongside you
Because night in the city can still be pretty
When we are the living and it is our city
Along the way to how between nowhere and now
Into the center of the universe and why

Night in the city of the living and the dead
Is here now as our time to live and not to die
We are living tonight in the city instead
It is night in the city and the light is bright
Night in the city of the living and the dead

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 13, 2010, 6:00 pm


For Teddy

21 August MMX

Teddy my fellow traveler through time
My fellow seeker for the paradigm
And for the pattern of reality
Trying to figure out what it might mean
As we have wondered why but found out how
As we have wondered so we wonder still
Adventurers alongside all the way

Thank you for being a best friend to me
My fellow wanderer wondering why
But finding out how these two decades now
Of this our connectedness as we find
Someone to listen when no one else will
Someone to talk to about what to do
A partner in the shared life of the mind
As well as my son so that I have two
And not only one so that I have you

Who though you might not realize it are
As transcendental as a rising star
Ascending constantly and steadily
Rising but remaining in equipoise
Lighting the sky for those orbiting by
Finding the center in the in between
Where I who see you rise know what I see

In a world of people who do not care
I see one who does and is always there
Alongside me when I have need of you
And I see you love me as I love you
So that we are alongside everywhere
I see humankind in you being kind
Humanness informed by humanity

I see balance among the many joys
Awaiting those who now discover you
To be as fascinating as I knew
You to be in your long ago with me
In the incunabulum of us as
We got off to a good start and we grew
In our Lancean specificity

You shot me for the cover of a book
Or two just as I look just as you took
Care of me as I once took care of you
Then when my life was in the in between
Suspended like a floating leaf in fall
To land in your hand recalled by your call
And because of you I return again

As how it is remembers how it was
While wondering about how it will be
And we turn to return with what we learn
We leave but we never leave us behind
And always say I love you when we go
Turning as we go to learn to return
We turn but turning do not turn away
Because we turn together through it all
Till someday we who have wondered will know

And if someday somebody should bother
To ask you something about your father
Something of you as something of me too
And if you wonder what on earth to say
Not that they will ask but in case they do
You can tell somebody I was like you
And gave you this poem for your birthday

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 10, 2010, 7:41 pm


For Stevie's Birthday

16 August MMX

"Me dearest darlin' boy" where would I start
If I were to speak the love in my heart
For you? But then again you understand
That when all is lost some things remain and
As some things become the way they must be
Some things become too important to say

Understanding connected hand to hand
As though we were links in a living chain
From soul to soul through love by circumstance
We turn but turning do not turn away
Through spacetime in shared synchronicity
And both of us are Steven Curtis Lance

Remembering Frank's Hobby Shop and all
The adventures we shared before the fall
And you with your blue book of poetry
Sad old songs with you at the piano
Saying too important things anyway
And saying them seeing we understand

Those moments like these when both of us know
Seeing me in you seeing you in me
Seeing from a look in each other's eyes
That we are not alone before the rise
Of what was and now is rising again
Of what is and how what will be will be

In the Santa Ana wind at midnight
Is how I first saw the diamonds shine
On the blue velvet and knew they were mine
Holding the sky by the string of a kite
And you hold the sky by the string now too
Hold on then my son and never let go

The specificity begins again
We turn but to return another day
I cannot imagine being my son
Or my doing as well as you have done
Without even mentioning how you do
Or how you will do and how about you?

I want you to know I am proud of you
That you are the meaning of life to me
Because of you I want to be and stay
Here being doing and seeing you grow
If only to remind you I love you
And if only to say Happy Birthday

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 8, 2010, 7:54 pm


Bogeys

Who is she they dared and called her name three times
When we were children waiting to become
Like the darkness haunting our nursery rhymes
They dared and called who appealed to and appalled
Generations of wakeful sleepovers in the bathroom
With a little sliver of a shiver of doom?
She was under the bed in bed with the bogeyman
Waiting to catch the unwary as catch can
Though I did not call her and she did not come
By the bogeyman she would give birth to some
Names in lights who serve the dark through politics
The ones who specialize in wakeful sleepover tricks
But bogeys only exist as we let them
As we remember to forget them

Bloody Mary

She of the extraordinary
Darkness at the dawning of our curiosity
Who is not but some would like to be
The dark lady of our darkening times
They dared and called who appealed to and appalled
But I never dared and I never called
Remembering other voices who
Waiting to catch the unwary as catch can
Remembered her in their own way too
And call it poetic license if you will
But she who comes when called is here and waiting still
Under the bed in bed with the bogeyman
As fear in bed with hate becomes the new reality
All night and day in an angry USA on TV

Bloody Mary

If repeating a lie three times will not make it true
Her brood of bogeys with their names in lights
The only light they ever knew and ever see
Bet their billions that thousands of times will do
The trick to make us sick the way they are
And going too far is not too far
For those who turn our summer days to winter nights
Lying and trying to control the souls of me and you
With their frights and fights against all we hold dear
As the bogeymen conquer our country through fear
And Bloody Mary you are scary
But your brood of bogeys terrifies
Living their lies by which our hope of civil discourse dies
Waiting to catch the unwary as catch can

But bogeys only exist as we let them
As we remember to forget them

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 6, 2010, 7:11 pm


The Man in the Mirror

for Nick Rocz

The man in the mirror is becoming my friend
So familiar and so like me in the end
That I worry about him when he is away
And feel better about him when he is not
Off wherever he goes but someone has to stay
Behind I suppose or that is what he thought

Or so the man in the mirror got me to agree
On this side or so I thought then when he brought
It up but now I wonder if that was only me
Since for better of worse our images reverse
He called me his shadow but would not explain
And when I asked him he would only say

"Mirror mirror on the wall
As I wonder how
Who reflects whom now
I wonder if you know
Seeing my reflection
Which of me is after all"

But being reflection
The mirror does not know
All it knows is that it goes
Without introspection
The mirror would be helpful but
It says it does not know how only what

In which direction
Does reflection go?

The mirror does not know
It says (and looks the other way)

I will have to look in the mirror and see
Over there where it looks so much clearer to me
About this and ask my friend if I might come
Across through the mirror the better to see clearer
What I have only seen reflected but
If there is happiness there I would like to find some

And if it is true that over there is where I become
The person he makes it look so easy to be
Or come across that way or at least come nearer
Through the mirror where my friend seems to be so free
Making me ask why I have to remain
Here behind the window of opportunity

Wishing I knew which is looking which way
I entertain the possibility
That the man in the mirror might be me
Only to be frightened into turning away
To turn back and ask my friend which I might be
Who am I / who are we anyway?

Mirror mirror on the wall
As we wonder how
Who reflects whom now
We wonder if you know
Seeing our reflection
Which of us is after all

In which direction
Does reflection go?

The mirror does not know
It says (or knows but does not say)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 5, 2010, 4:36 am


Diamonds on Blue Velvet

remember me

You wonderful ones who have wondered with me
In your youth about truth and what that might be
Who have understood me better than I could
Having grown up with me and my poetry
Remember me now as you venture and go
To all of the places I never have been
As I adventure in the spaces in the in between

And if peradventure you know what I mean
Think of me now and again when you see
A ring around the moon in the blue velvet sky
Wearing stars like diamonds to remember us by
To wonder about wonders beyond what we know
And when you see this to receive a kiss
Around the corner of the universe from me

You know about stars from my poems before
Who know what I mean and who know that I know
That you know that I mean that none of us go
That is when we go then we go like a ring
Around the moon or like the wheel of everything
Turning but returning no matter how far
Around the corner of the universe to be

Spangling we spill across blue velvet and call
To one another each to each the star
We are and know we are because of these on this
Our history across the sky no mystery to see
Like diamonds on blue velvet we flash until we fall
To rise again within the memory
Of you wonderful ones who have wondered with me

A star though having fallen now rising after all
Remembered is thought of all over again
A flash and we are in the sky once more
Remaining to depart and arriving to remain
Like all of us always again and again
Like stars though having fallen now rising after all
Like diamonds on blue velvet we flash until we fall

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 1, 2010, 8:19 pm


Learning to Let Go

When Grandma was letting go
After holding on so long
She told me I too must let
Go though not of life of what
Was killing me and was not
Of life were I to remain

It was easy to dismiss
Remembering to forget
As part of a parting kiss
At the time but she was right

And I could not prove her wrong
As I finally found out
Though it took all day and night
In the shadow of a doubt

But I let it all go free
When I gave it all away
And by letting go became
So that you know my name
In the way I came to be
As I am here today
Being and becoming strong

I remember her by this
Until I see her again

We only let go so we can embrace
Only renounce so we can receive
We only say goodbye to say hello
Only remember to forget the face
Of yesterday to recognize today
As we see what is so we can believe
In tomorrow as seen from its yesterday
Where the promise of today awaits

Today is when what will be will be
With yesterday the shadow of today
When tomorrow's shadow falls the other way
To what will be through what is from what was
Creating a future we cannot see
When they say tomorrow never comes but
For the sake of today just in case it does

Letting go is opening the gates
Keeping the line clear for the call when it comes
Ready for whatever no matter what
Being prepared even while being scared
With open arms empty just in case
Being becoming what being becomes

Letting go is being becoming strong
As the lotus is blooming inside
Blooming what is instead of what was
Learning to renounce to believe
And letting yesterday go to receive
Tomorrow as seen from its yesterday

Today may not be much but is all I know
This and what I find as I go along
From what was through what is to what will be
Like the river knows as it flows to the sea
And never delayed though often denied
Like Grandma today will not turn out wrong

So when tomorrow comes I will be prepared
As easy come and easy go I grow
Coming and going and come what may
Finding the equipoise of faith and doubt
Of bitter and sweet of fast and slow
Of everything and nothing watching the show

And it was a comedy it turns out
As it passes by having learned to let go

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Aug 1, 2010, 3:47 pm


Friendship River

for Giancarlo Vega

Up down and all around a world of people of all kinds
A river flows of friendship through the meetings of our minds
We find ourselves in one another in good company
And we like one another like being able to see
Another turning and returning as we find us where
We need us when we need us who remind us then and there

That then and there is when and where we need us as we learn
That as we turn and we return someone is being there
With us that we are not alone that someone cares the way
Only a friend cares one who shares both time and history
With the perspective of the elective and just because
Since we have known each other life is better than it was

Some people like to be only but that can be lonely
I for one like to have a friend or two or three or four
And not only do I like them but I like to make more
So if you are only and lonely I hope we find us
As we found each other being to find our being where
Friendship is flowing between tomorrow and yesterday

The river between when and then before and behind us
Laughing with us finding comedy within tragedy
Between what goes and never comes and what we have today
Asking nothing sharing everything turning to return
Up down and all around a world of people of all kinds
A river flows of friendship through the meetings of our minds

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 30, 2010, 2:27 am


Original Sin Survivor

for all the others

Asked to take the fall for the fall of man
I have done my best but no longer can
Nor longer will because it made me ill
Wearing poorly designed depravity
Forced on me finding it did not suit me
Because the curse of Adam does not fit

I fail to feel depraved whatever I do
Because I had nothing to do with it

So crafty preachers trolling for control
Find someone else to take advantage of
The sin is yours and is not of my soul
You shout but I will not listen to you
As having escaped you I go my way
Understanding your misunderstanding

I spent most of my lifetime suffering
Before I realized I could resist

But the God who is love in spite of you
The God I remember in November
To whom if I should die before I wake
I grew up praying for my soul to take
Beckoning to me as you turned away
Released me from the living death you had
For me when he decided I go mad
Escaping the hell you defend so well
Since you feel you need hell for heaven's sake
And for it to exist you must persist
That same God you forgot remembered me
And did me a favor or that is how
I think of it after going mad now

Setting me free to see differently
Returning me to the garden today
Where I am innocent though you are not
Here in November now to remember
In the garden of the God you forgot
Learning by the tree of knowledge to see
My mother did not give me sin but love

And what you gave me was the memory
Of your own sin which would not let me go
But I had to go when I came to know
You as the enemies of love you are

As you controlled by tears so now I win
Though bittersweet the right to laugh at last
Simply by seeing the absurdity
Of your outgrown unoriginal sin
And now as I see you a size too small
I who believed in the lies you told me
See how you believed in nothing at all

So keep your apple I have found a star
Inside of me where your sin used to be
And free now find that I am of the sky
Of the sea of the earth and of the fire

Recovering from growing up too fast
And free to pray beyond the games you play
My star is rising as I see my way
By the light you hid and tried to deny
In your perversion of the heart's desire
When the sin was yours originally

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 27, 2010, 7:14 pm


For the Rest of Us

In America today
The voices we hear are the voices of fear
Since these are the loudest and proudest
Cowardly and loud about it
Ignorant and proud about that too
Striving to stem the flow of reality
And though failing finding fame and fortune as they do
Conniving to control the populace

But fear is not what we were born nor came here for
Some never were and some are not afraid anymore

Weary and wary of whining defining us
As some resist the universe refining us
We tire of hearing the fearmongers crying
For blood
Ugly being as ugly does
As far away from home the brave are dying
For good
Because they were told for good was what it was
But then when they wondered it was just because
And the fearmongers said so on the radio

Somebody's children like mine maybe yours
Playing with fire and getting burned
Fighting old wars
A generation on when more is less
Sacrifice taken for granted by this
Negation of what they were fighting for
By goading the fearful into cowardice
And all for nothing more nor less than selfishness
Conniving to control the populace

In an atmosphere of fear when noon is midnight
The light lies low within the lamp today
As angry men shout about how being wrong is right
Who have forgotten all we ever learned
Who neither come nor go who will not grow who just say no
Only saying yes when they can take away
A freedom or two or keep us out of their sight
As they try to erase words like democracy
But we do not believe them anymore

I do not fear the fearful nor need you

A nation evolves as the world revolves
Our evolution is our revolution now
Fear is not our here nor ignorance our how
Though the fearmongers say no on the radio
Toiling to turn the tide of history
Our people know
The remote controlled and bought and paid for anger of
The sadly exploited but irrelevant
Astonishes but is not us is not what we want
And our children know that what we lack is love

The time has come now for the rest of us to say
If you are not coming get out of our way

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 26, 2010, 4:18 am


Time Has a Way

for Maria with love for her birthday

Those who think they know the answers do not know
The questions or how to ask them we have found
It shows and they know we know this even though
They conceal it if they can see us around
By playing roles they think have been assigned them
By something other this might have made sense to
At one time but not to them now to find them
Becoming angry about what they believe
Rattled to realize it might not be true
And people get dangerous when what they say
Is fear shook to anger but time has a way

Perceptive in spite of themselves they perceive
That things are changing in spite of all they do
Flailing their futility against the clock
They are in a hard place and time is the stone
To make them stumble the rock to make them fall
Because time has a way of breaking the lock
Taking up the unknown shaking up the known
Waking up questions and how to ask them too
Refusing to leave certain subjects alone
But making it all work out right after all
On the way to tomorrow from yesterday

Time has a way

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 24, 2010, 6:49 pm


By Which I Mean to Say I Love You

Among the diamonds of the sky
I trip through time and space
Seeing the universe being by
The concept of reality
Its own blue velvet darkness first taught me
When I came to embrace
It as it is and does seeing it being there
Being what is and becoming what will be

Doing its be and being its do
As I am and wish you were too
With me but seeing I am everywhere
And you are always with me I am there with you

By which I mean to say hello

The never parted reunited in
A place no place but time in space
No single point of spacetime but the whole
The seamless fabric of reality
Where nothing need end nor begin
The lack of gravity no lack of grace
Where balance plays a leading role

Though we might arrive unbalanced even so
To universal laughter
Here wisdom learns to wonder is to know
Where balance follows after

Here is where never becomes forever
When seen from the other side
Bringing always out of never
As anyone can do but few have tried
The way we do as we meet here once more
You the choir and I the priest

Where we have met so many times before
Out where we change the minds at least
Of such curious passersby as may
Be ready to open their minds anyway
Or maybe crack a tough nut or two
If not for tomorrow at least for today

Being our do and doing our be
Where it feels so right for me to be with you
That you must feel it too with me
Doing our be and being our do

Being and doing our destiny
And what is that you say?
To do our best no matter what
Pursuing perfection as its own reward
Our very uttermost and come what may
To know what is and what is not
And what lies in between

Remembering what others forgot
Or what they never knew
To turn and return with eternity
But you know what I mean

You are always with me and that is why
As I am with you too
You the reader I the writer of
This from me to you through love
And when we fall remember how we soared
Together you and I
Doing our be and being our do
Among the diamonds of the sky

By which I mean to say I love you

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 22, 2010, 8:09 am


Freefall

A piano missing a few keys maybe
A little worse for the wear of the weather
Those inevitable effects of being
I see and smile to remember not seeing
Out looking for trouble and finding it in
Unlikely places beginning to begin

But you must have been a beautiful baby
Because baby look at you now and yet how
Much do we love us or not how but whether
At all or not at all through such a hard fall
When winter awaits no matter what we do?
I have trouble denying discouragement
But I have tried to make it better somehow

I used to be able to lift up those who
Had fallen and maybe gotten broken too
But I went for broke without breaking my fall
And ended up with my heart broken instead
The person I was died inside of my head
Cost what was paid for before I lost the rest
And left me like this at all or not at all

It is more than I can do to lift up my
Weary self now as like an autumn leaf I
Am blown by the wind carried up then drawn down
A big deal to me but really pretty small
Just another person in another town
Like you see from the train as it passes by
The people and the town and the suffering
When this is not hello when this is goodbye

I will have to go all the way down someday
And when I am down now I stay there until
The turn of the wheel comes along as it will
As it does to bring me back to how it was
Returning the wind to keep turning the mill
Not forcing the spring since I can force nothing
Only myself to be stubborn and to stay

Life is difficult heaven knows (or does it?)
It was what I thought that it was (or was it?)
But I cannot see how it was because it
Is not the way it was then rather the way
It is now which is the way it is today
And maybe today we are not at our best

We would try tomorrow but it never comes
It just glitters there at the end of the road
As a future mirage the past overcomes
But the hope of it helps us to bear the load
Of a promise so big it can never come
True all at once so it blooms into pieces

A faraway fragrance blown over the sea
A memory like temptation increases
Its insidious insistent urgency
Of purpose but just what that purpose might be
Is not for the many to know but the some

And they are not telling me so I will wait
For what never comes but would become my fate
If it ever came from today where it hid
Within the fabric of spacetime yesterday
Not coming and yet never going away

If the some knew that we were not at our best
I wonder if they would enlighten the rest
Of us who just wonder in general how
To find our way out of this amazing maze
Where we find ourselves living our nights and days
As if this were going to be permanent
This matrix and multiverse all about now
Which speaking of tomorrow is where it went

Mystic magisterial ancient of days
August in July a stranger everywhere
Schizophrenic and whip smart and razor thin
His belly of iron wherein burns a flame
Psychotic and dangerous quite possibly
But he dances into the arms of always
Coming becoming beginning to begin
The process of us remembering his name

And if you remember I wonder if we
A piano missing a few keys maybe
With you who were once a beautiful baby
I wonder if it is not too late to try
Though not at our best today making a go
Of life now we know to know is not to know
Since we never have to explain us at all?

As if we would or if we could explain we
Who have embraced both the joys and sorrows of
Windblown leaves in autumn floating in freefall
Turning returning though falling even so
Further and further than we ever dreamed of

And everything makes sense now little and late
Past the suffering the people and the town
Tomorrow is coming becoming our fate
The fall of death becoming the call of love
Freefalling further and then all the way down
When this is not goodbye when this is hello
Though not at our best today making a go
Of floating in freefall like falling in love

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 20, 2010, 1:48 am


Deeper

for anyone who reads this

Our existence is confirmed in one another as we
Check ourselves as though in the mirror looking in the eyes
Of someone else to see if we are still there if we see
And are seen in the in between if you know what I mean
Where the deeper the darkness is the brighter is the star

Seeing we recognize each other as we realize
That other people hell though they may be are how we know
We are by seeing each other our existence agreed
Upon seeing the light of you in me and mine in you
And we may think we do not but we need us even so

Looking to find ourselves we find we are looking too far
We cannot confirm we exist without us even though
We think we do and we might want to or we might want to
Think we do there is just no helping our need for us now
That we exist and know that we exist and this is how

No helping our need for us now but our being indeed
Being its own reward in going from and coming toward
In the in between where we know what we mean as we lead
The lives of stars to shine reflected in each other's eyes
Where our being seems visible only reflectively

I do not remember existing until I saw you
It took until I saw myself in you to realize
In that moment of our mutual reciprocity
When we were and when being with you was its own reward
When you saw you in me reflecting that I saw it too

That this is how we are and know we are and it was soon
Then looking in your eyes that I began to see my own
Seeing you seeing me becoming as we are to be
Both of us reflecting each other like the sun and moon
Seeing myself reflected I saw I was not alone

We are not brains in jars but voyagers among the stars
Nor are we alone out here as it is becoming clear
When we find what we mean in the space in the in between
Where in the deepest darkness there is where the stars appear
Where the deeper the darkness the brighter the stars are seen

And the stars in our eyes are all of us becoming clear
All we wanted it turns out was just to be somebody
The stars we are where we could shine forever and ever
Or if not at least for here and now this moment we are
Clear in the here and now between forever and never

Where we find space is always now and stars are always here
And finding each other reflecting we find us to be
Our ground of being way of seeing and the meaning of
All we have looked for all this time as we have looked too far
For us reflected in our coexistent company

Being reflections of each other as the stars we are
Who can never see us as we are until we can see
Not in our backwards mirrors but our shared humanity
The image of us in the eyes of others finding love
Where the deeper the darkness is the brighter is the star

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 17, 2010, 8:10 pm


Watching Shooting Stars Fall

My roommate in the lockdown psych ward was an amputee
In a wheelchair and he always wore his hospital gown
While I wore what I wore before to look more like outside
He was inside everywhere and did not know did not care

So it came as no surprise he was as crazy as me
With his troubling little stump below one knee waggling down
That he was mad the other way though he was justified
His fat face up in mine until I got it out of there

He dreamed what was and was not of him had a reunion
His leg came back but came back black the rest white and angry
His long lost limb had come too late his madness was his hate
The lockdown psych ward was a mad and angry place to be

My Grandma was a woman toughened by disappointment
And I the only one who never disappointed her
Which is to say I did not die nor someway else go where
She did not want to as I drove her where she wanted to

And I always gave her a laugh as I gave her a lift
In her fifty year old Chrysler land yacht just as haunted
Then as now and when I lost her I wondered where she went
At first but now I find her in myself a given gift

The Reverend Reavis wept whenever he tried to pray
His sobbing filled his church especially at communion
I was a child and could not yet understand what this was
Since time had not yet taught me some sad things I know today

He gave himself as offering and wept like that because
While wanting badly to do good he found that he could not
Remember who he was and was not and so he forgot
When we want to do good badly this is what good it does

He sacrificed himself and found that he was not enough
Unlike my Grandma disappointment could not make him tough
Neither one went mad like me nor my roommate amputee
Who learned the hard way that was just what we would have to do

And as we regard each other in the mirror we see
Ourselves as we create us making our reality
Reflected in reverse we are being and becoming
And we want to do good badly for all the good it does

As at half past my long lifetime watching shooting stars fall
How when they fall they just keep falling until they fall through
Lessons we are here to learn which take a lifetime coming
I see how going mad is not so crazy after all

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 15, 2010, 4:12 pm


And Life Goes On

In this my seeming afterlife persisting
Longer than I had intended to
Alternately accepting and resisting
Remaining I wonder what to do

Since death is a crisis I could ill afford
Betting it all one shot letting go
An agonizing stop to what is moving
A stop to the suffering even so

Stalling here I polish every word
In case someone reads what I leave behind
As my testimony to a dream deferred
Waiting for the time when I will know

Noting absurdly my body improving
Going to waste with my mind never mind
That Lutheran practicality
Noting all the exercise was not in vain

That promise of perfectibility
Toward which I could aspire to wait it out although
That could take awhile
Asks me what remains to be should I remain

I could stand to stall more if I waited in style
Alternately accepting and resisting
But fear goes out of fashion
When it comes to being gone

In this my seeming afterlife persisting
I am equally afraid to die as live but still
Death is a one time act of the will
But life goes on and on and on

And life goes on

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 14, 2010, 8:09 pm


Hot

for my friend and fellow poet Alexander de Juan
and his Facebook Anthology #17: Comedy


It is hot today
In the canyons of LA

Summer is a bummer
When the beach is out of reach
But I have to work hard
The car is in a storage yard
I gave it to my youngest anyway
And I never really liked to drive the freeway

I have a choice today
Of being roasted or fried
By choosing being inside or being outside
And so I lift my voice to say
I never knew that I could be this hot
Or did but did not want to and forgot

If this is how it has to be
The rest of the summer then let me
Be as hot as I am now in other ways
That I might be distracted through these melting days
Maybe see a little action as I
Roast or fry

Then maybe I could be OK
In the canyons of LA

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 11, 2010, 7:22 pm


Perspective of the Sky

for Teddy and Jihye

I always used to try
To see things from the sky
Until it became my habit
And how it is that now it is that I
A hawk on the fly
Can look down and find the rabbit
Of what I need to become a part of me
And it does now because I know how to see

It took awhile to learn
Taking my time to earn
First my respect and then my trust
But having been patient I take my turn
If I must return
Like hawks and rabbits to the dust
Knowing I have been having seen from the sky
And from that perspective having learned to fly

I have seen how it is from up there
Having learned to embrace
My specificities of time and space
Embracing to transcend them
Rising toward immortality
Riding tide and wind but not in vain
Rising and falling and rising again
Because that is what I do
But what I do is worth doing right
Having learned I am happy just to be
Who I am as I am and I become

I want to hold close and enjoy
The things those without perspective destroy
When their rabbit of need becomes greed
To be my best today before tonight
To have principles and defend them
But never defensively
To answer simply and not explain
Because I do not need to
And having learned to see to be
True to myself by daring to care
Enough to insist as I am and do
Learning to see as I become
To know who I am and where I came from

The point of it all is that I learn
Now as a creature of the air
I came from the sky where I return
And if you look up you might find me there
Where I belong there where I am free
To be where being I have learned to see
Being now and seeing how who
Learns to see is free indeed
As I am and as I see what is true
Being and seeing and freeing me
Remembering what I forgot I knew
As a hawk on the fly
From the perspective of the sky

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 8, 2010, 9:00 pm


The Lovers

To be everywhere is to be nowhere
Without somewhere but
To be somewhere is to be everywhere
Which is how when we are here we are there
With somewhere with someone the ideal
Which would seem like what
We ought to know before we go
Though still we have to try
Looking elsewhere for everywhere
And going too far

Since going too far is only coming near
Going around and coming the long way
Wherever we are on this blue ball
Nowhere everywhere or somewhere between
All of us turn around the same small star
As even by night it makes its light seen
A pretty big trick for a star so small
Bringing in soon by the light of the moon
As something for us to remember it by
Wherever we are

Which is how when the sun is there it is here
Reflecting on itself to make the moon appear
From out of the shadows of space to be
Something to reflect on for you and for me
Returning what will be to what has been
Light after light reflecting on the sea
Being the pitch to which the lovers tune
Being the music of what is real
When open hearts are singing to the sky
Around this small star

And going too far wherever we are
Around this small star as we are as we are
Day follows night as night follows day
As going we come and leaving we return
Wherever we are on this blue ball
Where none of us may leave here anyway
Where two are one and somewhere is everywhere
Which is how when we are here we are there
The trick of it being to learn as we turn
On this blue ball around this small star

A pretty big trick for a star so small
Reflecting on us here to make the moon appear
Everywhere is here and we are as we are
Where somewhere with someone is everywhere
And both of us know what no one need say
Light after light reflecting on the sea
Light after night after light to be
Something to reflect on for you and for me
As something for us to remember us by
We are the lovers as we come near

As we were the lovers who went too far
Around this small star as we are as we are

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 6, 2010, 4:17 pm


The Thing About Love

The thing about love is when we give it
We get it because love grows when we live it

Giving love away is how we get more
Because loving is what we are living for
The meaning of life and reason we live
Who would be lost unless we found
Ourselves in the selves of those around
As we do so we can see our way through
As through each other we know what to do

Love is the way we care as much
For others as us and talk by touch
Why we dare to care and how we forgive
In the process receiving more than we give
As by being better than we are
We overextend ourselves but not too far
And dare to care enough to try
To not be alone before we die
Reaching each other by reaching for the sky

Fear resists love but we feel no regret
When we find we get it as the it we get
Our nights can be long with nightmares and yet
Love is why we dream and how our dreams come true
And love is why I wrote this for you

If there is nothing more than this
And all we have is love
We find all we need in a kiss
To know the meaning of
The infinite embraced within the small
The ultimate in an intimate action
The riddle and the wonder of it all
Explained to our satisfaction

Love is the courage to call
As well as the hope to respond
And in the end love is all
In all continuing beyond
What we can see to be what we will be
Love is the who we are of you and me
Everything we have ever been
As well as all we are
We overextend ourselves but not too far
And those who love know what I mean

However we fall love is how we rise
Love lifts to create what fear destroys
Of its beautiful openly secret joys
Spinning to music the wool of noise
Causing reality to realize
Now and spring from then to bring another day
To find God reflected in each other's eyes
And to see love is why we are anyway

The thing about love is when we give it
We get it because love grows when we live it

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 5, 2010, 6:06 pm


If You Are Lonely Reading This

for Behnaz

If you are lonely reading this
I want you to know
As I blow a transcendental kiss
By way of hello

Still staying though not staying still
Refraining from complaining so
Remaining without explaining
As the only way to go

With the spacetime fabric in between
What was and what is
As I go I come to be
If you know what I mean

Wondering about destiny
Looking for the rest of me
Knowing it will be the best of me
Doing what I do

Drinking at the breast of the universe my mother
Being and becoming and taking my fill
Seeing you and I exist as one to another
Freeing ourselves as we go to come to be

Each confronted by and encountering the other
Wanting to know you wanting to be known
Wanting you not wanting to be alone
Wanting you to know that if you will I will

Having been alive a long time now
Belatedly beginning to
Make sense of life somehow
At least to the extent of my intent

Unlimited but for what time will allow
When unless space knows
Only time knows where it goes
Or where it went

With the spacetime fabric in between
What is and will be
To come to be as we go
Since you know what I mean

If you are lonely reading this
I want you to know
That I am only lonely until
I remember you

And I do

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX







Jul 1, 2010, 8:40 pm


I Want to Dream Again

on the Fourth of July in the Year 2010

The way it is has never seemed right
And why it has to be this way
Is something I have never understood

Some say it is all a conspiracy
But probably it is more random
Than that as the general tendency
For use to come with abuse in tandem
As yin and yang in unsound equipoise

The weeds grow with the grain
And stronger it seems

When what is bad does well with what is good
And we no longer sing together
Our music in common becomes common noise

Our eyes narrow and as they do lose sight
Of now uncommon common joys
And dangerous changes in the weather
As we lose the light

So I keep to myself a lot now
Remembering what some forgot how
Love is what casts out fear
What we listen for
All we need to hear
What all of us are wondering about

Wondering like me again
What happened to our dreams

Our muddied waters have made clear
We could hate a lot less and love a lot more
Who hear a whisper clearer than a shout
Love is what we listen for

To speak love and to listen empathy
Transcending fear and vanity
And with respect between
To mean what we say a more meaningful way
To know what we mean without being mean
Love is all we need to hear

A long way to go but not too far

Boys will be and girls will too
But we are better than we do
On this tomorrow of our yesterday

We dreamed it would be better when
We dreamed of it before
That now would be along in time by then
That we would all drive flying cars by now
By the way

I wanted to soar
But then we stopped reaching for stars somehow

Stars to aspire to and stars to attain
A long way to go but not too far
For the somehow of now and for who we are
At the time to wake up to dream some more

Time to reach for stars again

I can wait awhile for my flying car
When only weeds remain
Or so it seems
So to say

But once I dreamed of catching a star
And about you catching one too
Wondering like me again
About our dreams
Delay has denied

We feel it in our hearts we know
Our love like our time is tough
Because of the dreams we hold inside
And we have waited long enough
Now to bring in the grain

Time for love to be and do
A long way coming and a long way to go
A long way to go but not too far
To make our dreams come true
And catch a star

I want to dream again

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMX










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