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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1051 thru 1075 of 2819 Poems

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May 20, 2011, 9:04 pm


Nowhere

for Andrew Dreher

When I lost everything I could not bring myself to look
Into the most important places of my memory
Until too late when I had to leave then so I forsook
The most important things in my secret sanctuary
Where I left my heart too with no one else there left to care
So that the things I treasured most were what got left behind

My high school diploma and a college degree or two
My childhood coin collections in their bronze antique car banks
Some hippie jewelry a golden girl made for me when
I was a golden boy of fate and going to be great
A few photos of some people no one else ever knew
Mementos of my mother I will never find again

Remembering my mother would say never mind but then
Some souvenirs and letters about love or saying thanks
About how I was published now and was someone at last
My survival my arrival saying how I was there
When who was there I find I left behind then to the past
Because I could not bring myself to look until too late

I had to turn my eyes away pretending to be blind
Evicted victimized by crooked lawyers turned away
From what I won for losing that I had to leave behind
When I could see how it would be to lose then not to find
What I had saved tomorrow for a rainy yesterday
The day I lost my somewhere to be exiled everywhere

The trophies of my troubles left behind trouble my mind
But only I remember what is nothing now nowhere

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







May 19, 2011, 7:36 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1465:
Temples Like These


In temples like these it must be true
People have shrugged and said
After the earthquakes what do they do
But build new ones instead

They all fall down along with the town
Along with everything
But above the dust and looking down
God has left the building
He could never fit in anyway

Love was all God wanted to say
And he might not have even been he
If God is love it must be true not just above
But down here and everywhere now God is there
In temples like these of earth like you and me

+Steven Curtis Lance


Copyright MMXI







May 17, 2011, 9:45 pm


As One Become Transparent

for Virginia Kiper

Some people get fat when they get old then others get lean
And somehow something like stringy if you know what I mean
Stringy or baggy and clingy or saggy of tissue
Over underlying bone the known over the unknown
A matter of more or less I guess the underlying issue

And I am one of the latter with less matter and mass
Whose abs have gone from flat to concave now who have no ass
To speak of anyway just happy to be here today
At all after suffering a very hard fall never
Mind the winter of my entering my mad forever
Blooming into spring there becoming part of everything

Where the unknown is known under the flesh within the bone
From opaque to translucent with the light shining through me
When all I ever wanted was to be happy only
Being only one of me to be becoming lonely
My Grandma always told me that I was a lucky boy
Unending once begun as one whom none could undo me
Surviving like a cockroach that a man cannot destroy
The paperwhite narcissus in the garden of the dead
With everyone together but with anyone alone
Would rather not be narcissistic but in love instead

Lonely son of the only one or what there is of me
Becoming more to be than not to be more than you see
When my daily bread is what I stand for in the breadline
And now and then some memories left over from the past
Where I breathe poetry like air as all I have as mine
But all I ever wanted when I saved the best for last

Lonely son of the only one unending once begun
Where I will dry away and I will die but I am here
The known under the unknown like the underlying bone
That a man cannot destroy that I am a lucky boy
The lonely son and only one together and alone

For now at least my famine feast enough till I appear
As one become transparent to transcend and then to disappear

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







May 15, 2011, 11:03 pm


Not to Blow It

remembering one who did

The lines in the mirror
Come sharper and clearer
As the credit card cuts both ways
A Benjamin will do
To blow tomorrows yesterdays

As if I ever knew
What is not if but how crime pays
And when it does to know it
And then try not to blow it
As up the nose it goes

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







May 15, 2011, 9:24 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1464:
Absurd But Not Ridiculous


for the Mysterious Lady

Life is absurd but not ridiculous
A matter of laughing with and not at
To wonder if the joke might be on us
But laughing to learn through tears as we turn
To have some fun before turning is done
Apart from all the fluster and the fuss
Of what and who that do not get it yet
What we must turn a time or two to learn
Who remember three or four to forget
For five or six before we crash and burn
The joke on everything and everyone
A laughing matter anyway at that

A matter of laughing with and not at
Life is absurd but not ridiculous

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







May 9, 2011, 3:43 am


And Love is Why

The sun came out just before it went down
And hesitated in the sky awhile
But shone for a moment over my town
Showing a sunny if hesitant smile
A promise perhaps of another day
Of over and under and then again
Before going under left to wonder
Out of the any one of the many
When another night then got underway
And dusk and dawn and on and on it goes
But where it goes or comes from no one knows

So I send you my love my lovely friends
From the past of the future presently
Without knowing where it begins or ends
But if love should be why love would be how
We could know of love in the here and now
Of many who wonder I am but one
But I know it is now and here we are
When on and on we go then you and me
With dusk and dawn going on as we do
In as good a time and place as any
To care more as to why than as to where

Another day I see us me and you
I look up in the sky and we are there
Of many one to wonder in the sun
Right to wonder after going under
As much right to wonder as anyone
But then getting over it when again
Another night I know us we are true
And love is why and how whereby we know
And day and night and true and right we are
And dusk and dawn and on and on we go
Diamonds on blue velvet each a star

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







May 4, 2011, 9:30 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1463:
The Way the Birds Explain the Sunset


for my biographer the Laughing Daffodil

Love says to me to say what without saying when
Knowing why though when I go now if not knowing how to say
What somehow I say anyway if only in my way

Like the way the birds explain the sunset
Or the way the dogs describe the dawn
Like the way you already know and yet
By then when I am already gone
And yet it was good to be understood
To be gotten and not to be forgotten

When we get to the end both of us might know by then
But even if I never I hope you always do
Then hope when you do you might explain me to me too

Like my biographer the Laughing Daffodil
If anybody can explain me she can (and she will)

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 28, 2011, 6:53 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1462:
Illusion


The mating urge gives rise to confusion
Within the whirl of romantic fantasy
Which in turn gives rise to disillusion

As the human race chases its tail across
The stages of ages of love and loss
And it turns in the whirlwind whirling past me
From disillusion to dissolution

We dream of being known when we seem we are alone
The mating urge gives rise to this illusion night by day
The urge to merge the surge to purge the loneliness away

But having crashed and having been thrown free
Of the wreckage clear and better off to be
I conclude I am too confused for confusion
Now having already whirled my illusion

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 25, 2011, 1:50 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1461:
The One


It seemed a good idea but
Really it was not
As opposed to ideally
It was not really

But I suppose it had to be
It certainly had me
You had to know before I go
Really it was she
Who had me first the one who will
Not be forgotten has me still

I had and lost her with my mind
Before became behind
And she deserved better I know

But God I loved her so!

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 24, 2011, 4:28 am


A Long Way Gone but Getting There

A long way gone but getting there
Getting the worst out of the way
Life having brought me to the test
But having saved the best for last
And more or less now having passed
Through better to worse before I
Could be bitter but better not

I never stop trying to reach the sky
And trying sometimes I do
By getting a long way gone but
Getting there and getting by

As always trying to find what
Is true or when what is not then why
When some of it seems a nightmare
Then some of it seems a dream
And anyway meets anywhere
No matter how it may seem

Worse to better less to more I
Would be better no matter what
Was worst as I hope for the best
Saved now for last and past a day
When I care enough not to care
And anywhere meets anyway
A long way gone but getting there

From tomorrow to lonely yesterday
Today was always what it meant
Not disappointment only surprise
A long way but never the wrong way
Only coming as I went
More determined than ever to rise

By getting a long way gone but
Getting there and getting by
As always trying to find what
Is true or when what is not then why

I never stop trying to reach the sky
And trying sometimes I do

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 21, 2011, 8:42 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1460:
The Circle in the Square


for Mike Escobedo and the Plaza Review

Like a dog I turn around three times before I sit down
On a bench down in the Plaza in Orange my hometown
Having paid in Yen at Starbucks where they said never mind
Here turning with the universe returning my behind
To the front yard of my building as it were nowadays
Now turning with the universe returning as always

Where I am from where I have come to what becomes me when
I turn around and find myself returning once again
To the circle in the square where I know I have a place
Having paid in sorrow elsewhere having taken my turn
Returning to the still point as I turn through time and space
Having paid in love in Orange I can feel it return

Like a dog I turn around three times before I know where
I am to be but I can see I am already there

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 20, 2011, 4:07 pm


Too Early to be Too Late

Is the past what turns away to be
The future when it returns for me?

When the past hurts now I wonder how
It does being then instead of when
Remembering by forgetting it
Getting over what there is to get
Clouds of memory dissipating
But then again anticipating

This might already be forever
At now and here on a turning sphere
Somewhere between always and never
And when I do what I will do then
I will remember that until when
Becomes then and when I let it go

Not just to remember but to know
And not just to worry but to wait
For when to remember to forget
Then but not time to remember yet
On a turning sphere at now and here
At still too early to be too late

The future when it returns for me
Is what the present turns out to be

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 19, 2011, 12:00 am


Could Be

You look like one of my readers to me
Or if you are not now then you should be
There as you are where you shine as a star
A diamond on a velvet blue night
Here and as near as is love without fear
As the golden sun of a silk blue day
In the garden not to be turned away

You look like one of my readers all right
Or if you are not then now you could be

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 17, 2011, 8:51 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1459:
What I Always Wanted


If you should come to Orange California stop
At the Native American Matoska shop
Where the stairway is between there and Cherry on Top

I live there on top of the shop where you might drop by
At the top of the stair if you stop and you drop
By to see me sometime where I have come home to die

But before we begin I will have to let you in
Have to remember I would live a little first
A little of the best now having lived through the worst

At the hub of the wheel where the streets go east and west
And north and south the still point where journeys begin
A little of the best now and never mind the rest

What was always missing what made me look for more
What I always wanted but never had before

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 15, 2011, 12:57 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1458:
More Aware and More Away


for you who found me

More aware if more away
More and more so every day
But now you found me
A hidden poet rising
Becoming known surprising
Saying what I see
My way in my ascendance
On the way to transcendence

Here I am to be
Just who you were looking for
Now since then as writing more
Just for you for free
I get better so they say
More aware and more away

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 13, 2011, 3:19 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1457:
Tonight through the Fire


Now as I embrace my mortality
It looks like to live is how it is to be
It took awhile but as I live I learn
To live all I can as I can and to
Do my best as I do the what that I do
That whatever else the why of my best
Will be good enough to forget about the rest

When my soul remembers to take its turn
Reborn in the ashes refined by the fire
Then to live all I can when you can see
Me learning the living we lovers earn
Rising from the fire again as I aspire
Tonight through the fire to light my return
As I embrace my immortality

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 12, 2011, 7:06 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1456:
Not Easy to be Fifty-Six


for the Laughing Daffodil

It is not easy to be fifty-six

As the same inside but not out being
Broken and broke as I am in the fix
Of better late now than never seeing
How the temporariness of it all
Juxtaposes me with eternity
And makes me feel like a leaf in the fall

Riding the wind like a cork on the sea
Falling like a feather through the weather
Almost like flying but then finally
Down and again only when not whether
On a one way trip as I come to see
What I make of what comes and it of me

It is not easy to be fifty-six

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 12, 2011, 7:04 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1455:
Us in Solidarity


In wandering out walking
Listening to the chatter
I overhear us talking
Wondering if we matter

But listening I can hear
Then more clearly when I see
If nearsighted far and near
Us in solidarity

Who matter to us by our
Being in the company
Of each other at this hour
Of our moment now to be

Together if out of fear
Or in love if you ask me

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 10, 2011, 2:08 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1454:
When a Smile Has a Long Way to Go


I smile at all the dogs I see
And they smile back at me
The people too I smile at you
When I see you if I do

Which leads me to say I miss you today
When a smile has a long way to go
But you smile back I know
I do when I think of you anyway

I always wanted a dog of my own
I wanted so many things
Someone to love me but I am alone
Only the lonely me

To smile at all the dogs I see
And see what tomorrow brings

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 9, 2011, 5:54 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1453:
Waiting for the Flowers


April showers are bringing May flowers
At least I hope so anyway
Waiting for spring is an up and down thing
But April will give way to May
When it will be spring then once and for all
Until the soon of summer June
July and August September and fall
If just a little wet today

Having been freezing having been sneezing
Through a very extraordinary
January February
Marching through winter entering spring
Having been cold having gotten old
Waiting for the flowers April showers bring

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 7, 2011, 6:58 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1452:
When I am Gone


Up where the stair winds on and on
Where the step at every turn
There where I go when I am gone
Is to die for but to learn
Mine is the first step mine to take

There aspiring through the air
Where only fire fulfills desire
Mine the journey mine to make
By the waters of earth through fire

It is far but not too far
Forever but for everywhere
Through the dark to spark a star
Up where the stair winds on and on
Where I go when I am gone

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 5, 2011, 7:55 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1451:
Never Mind Gbagbo


at least not too much

Spring is springing bright out my window right now
But Gbagbo waits in his basement in Abidjan
Where everyone waits for Gbagbo to be gone
From Cote d'Ivoire but c'est la gloire I say
I hear what they tell me on Al Jazeera
But turn toward the window away from the mirror

Never mind Gbagbo at least not too much

With spring singing flight out my window is how
With radioactivity and Libya and such
I never mind Gbagbo not right now anyway
Not like this when spring is swinging like it is today
Is singing swinging how springing like it is right now
Out the window of the basement of Gbagbo but in touch

Never mind Gbagbo at least not too much

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Apr 3, 2011, 7:50 am


On the Morning of the Borning

"Though I must die poor mad and apostate
May it be with an unswollen prostate gland
And with a respectable remainder of my hair"

The hesitant petition of something like a prayer
In an awkward position as I was there
At the awkward borning of my mortality

There as I was between effect and cause
Here as I am at a loss when and where
They cross and with so many ways not to be

But to be anyway if hesitatingly
Somehow to know now will always be all right
Now for me someway with so many ways to be

Though I must live poor mad and apostate
For my submission something like an answered prayer
In an awkward position as I am there

Prostatically fine if financially prostrate
And with a respectable remainder of my hair
In my awkwardness there where I find my grace

Without any and with so many ways not to be
But to be anyway if hesitatingly
As grateful for what does as for what does not remain

Rising up again after falling on my face
And falling and rising again and again
Learning to turn and earn beyond the burning

Beyond which is nothing left to explain
In the wind like a kite on the evening of good night
Somehow to know now will always be all right

At the awkward borning unhesitatingly
When without any warning then someway comes good morning
On the morning of the borning of my immortality

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Mar 29, 2011, 7:48 pm


Transcendental Sonnet #1450:
Looking for You


I had a friend who turned away from me
To someone else as if it had to be
And maybe it did but the price it cost
When it was only then it was lonely
Was not only one but two friends were lost
To me as I see how I am one who
Locked out from inside a circle of two
Looks outside from in now looking for you

And whether or not we come together
Again without someone coming apart
Looking for you I am finding my heart
And if you lost yours maybe I can share
What in the only can be lonely but
Who turns away returns to find me there

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI







Mar 27, 2011, 4:16 am


Transcendental Sonnet #1449:
I Know You Know


for the Laughing Daffodil

I live a thousand ecstasies
And die a thousand deaths a day
With hell to pay or so they say it seems
And all I feel is all too real my dreams
My nightmares up and down through in between

But understanding all of these
You know and I know you know what I mean

I know you know I know you know
And this is what makes the universe go
The thing I sing that makes it swing for me
In between death and ecstasy
The thing you know I know will still hold true

The hand I hold makes the lotus unfold
The hand that turns the wheel belongs to you

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMXI










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Displaying Poems 1051 thru 1075 of 2819 Poems

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