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Selected Poems of Steven Curtis Lance

Displaying Poems 1 thru 25 of 2810 Poems

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Apr 25, 2018, 8:03 pm


The Singing of the Sky (work in progress...)



Although it almost blows me away
I like hearing what the wind has to say
The rising fall of its sighing call

When the unseen can be seen after all
The word overheard between the sky
A bird knows the meaning as it goes by
Singing of what the wind is bringing

Until the birds and I are all singing
Along with the wind that in the end
Will carry us away when we transcend

Bringing the dust of the birds and me
Into the singing of the sky to be
What I can hear in the wind today
When it brings in spring and it sings this way



Steven Curtis Lance







Apr 5, 2018, 9:09 pm


Not So Bad



Though improbably I am probably
Happier than I have ever been
Somehow before now having never been
To be incoincidentally
In the end to see transcendentally
Having found out my way out is in

For my happy ever after to be
Seeing in the end what I can see
Now that I can somehow happier than
Ever though I never was before
Because I thought I had seen everything

Having been so long seeing nothing
I thought that was all but seeing some more
Being some more seeing what I can
I see how I am now is not so bad

A concession of depression to
The progress of the process of disease
Multifoliate realities
Unfolding like the lotus coming true

Not so bad if I had to go mad
To be glad to be if I had to fall
Down through that crack in society
To get up where I had to be to let
Go and go see what I had to get

I had to go free to see this is it
Had to arrive at this the hard way
Having survived it I may as well stay
See what I mean in the in between

If from the perspective of an old man
Now I recall I am after all
Just glad to see that old man must be me
Being glad to be me finally
Better late than never my best for last

Learning the meaning of life from death
Here in between this heartbeat and this breath
Now between the future and the past
To wonder when the unseen may be seen
But until seeing what does it mean
To understand being but to be glad?

Not so bad if I had to go mad
In the end to see transcendentally



Steven Curtis Lance







Apr 4, 2018, 3:20 am


Shooting Stars



Not all falling stars fall
Some are shooting after all
And so I am rooting
For the stars that are shooting
Tonight but peacefully
Right across the sky from me

Wherever they may go
That they go on even though
Into the dark ocean
Arcing sparking as they fly
Making a commotion
By their taking to the sky

I wish them all the best
They are braver than the rest



Steven Curtis Lance







Apr 3, 2018, 12:37 am


Lancean



I want my poems to sing like spells
Spring to ring like haunting bells
Within the tinntabulations of
Incantations of my love
In an out of the ordinary
Bout of extraordinary
If not swordplay wordplay anyway
Saying what I have to say
As I fancy my Lancean way
Like my father before me
To know who I am by poetry



Steven Curtis Lance







Mar 23, 2018, 8:51 pm


Changeability



The rain blows in sideways
Between the winter and the spring
On one of those between days
In the meaning of the seasons
When changing is the thing

Two seasons unseasonably
For unchanging reasons
Blow on go on rearranging
The clouds to show how changing
Is the thing that is unchanging
Here between now and always

It may be what it means to be
Or what it means to me
Is to be up for anything

Here between now or never
For the ever of whatever
May be or maybe not
I understand but wonder what
A change of season brings

Maybe the ability
To change with changeability
Ongoing in the sky
With rainbows when the rain blows by
May be what it means to go
On going as the way we grow
In the in between of things



Steven Curtis Lance







Mar 20, 2018, 7:49 am


Sui Generis



for my friend Philip Matogo



I find myself one of a kind but I
Want to live it up and not give up and die
Though haunted to and having wanted to
Before but no more now I know what to do
Having lived it down to rise like the sun
Sui generis as a species of one

They tell me I fell like a star one day
When there was an omen in the sky they say
Freak thunder and lightning when I was born
Geographically Californian
A freak of nature for a unicorn
Astrologically Capricornian

Heretical theologically
Poetical but theoretically
An illogical manic-depressive
Maniacally logical obsessive
Paranoid schizophrenic psychotic
Son of a hitman who was a poet too
Rising like the sun falling like a star

If you are ready for something exotic
Doing my best brings out the best in me
Solitarily pursuing destiny
In human solidarity I find
Myself one of a kind but the human kind
If only in the distance from afar

Quixotically sui generis
But my species being human doing this



Steven Curtis Lance







Mar 15, 2018, 10:48 pm


Nothing Left But Love



At the lockdown psychiatric hospital
The hospitality was hostile
But I met a Russian ballerina there
Who taught me to care and not to care

It took the darkness for me to look and see
What it took from not to be to be
The hard way is how I learned what I know now
Having become an old man somehow

They tell me I used to be somebody but
Then the world turned upside down for me
When I fell through a crack in society

Not up to be upside down I fell
Not up to me until I bounced out of hell
To become somebody lesser-than
More or less who nonetheless do what I can

Like I did when I got rid of what
Appeared to be but apparently was not
Or what conveniently got rid of
Me agreeing between us to disagree

Leaving me with nothing left but love
Haunted to recall what I learned the hard way
Love is all I wanted anyway



Steven Curtis Lance







Mar 12, 2018, 7:50 am


I Hope



dum spiro spero



I hope for the best
Between trying not to get
My hopes up and yet
Trying not to get depressed

I hope for the rest
Of this incarnation of
Me to rise above
My situation by love

I hope to transcend
Among friends along about
Sunset to find out
What it all means in the end

I hope to forget
It to get but not regret
It I hope to let
Go of what does not go on

I hope to let it
Be the better to let me
Be to remember
Who I am in December

I hope to still be
And to be still and to know
I hope I will go
On and grow till I am gone



Steven Curtis Lance







Mar 7, 2018, 10:42 pm


A Riddle in the Middle of the Night



I never mind my mind not being right
Until I find myself depressed again
Find myself lost to the cost of it in
The shadow of death every now and then

Memento mori whispered from behind
I want to turn around but never mind
I have to look ahead of me instead
For the light that might be looking for me

I have to close my eyes so I can see
Haunted not to be but wanting to be
Chanting de profundis clamo ad te
The darkness understanding what I say

Remembering the dead and what they said
I know what to look for by what I find
The darkness reminding me of the light
A riddle in the middle of the night



Steven Curtis Lance







Mar 2, 2018, 10:40 pm


Unwise



These strongmen are not tough guys
These guys are not wise
But far as I can see
No more than bully-boys to me

Insecurity
Is an unattractive trait
But they have good reason to be
Wary as they await
A very unattractive fate
Downfall any day

Wrong men not strong men anyway
In fact but no surprise
Bully-boys unwise
Enough to act like tough guys



Steven Curtis Lance







Feb 27, 2018, 5:01 am


Looking for the Light



Today the light is stronger
As spring overcomes
Winter incrementally
But relentlessly

Spring before its entering
After wintering
The light is hesitating
But I am waiting

Yesterday it looked away
But it looked today
Like it was looking for me

Opening to be
What I was hoping to see
The lotus unfolds
And the light is what it holds
Spring is what becomes
Of me transcendentally

In the end stronger
Even though it took all night
Looking for the light
Looking for me anyway

Though it takes all day
Tomorrow will be longer
If it ever comes

For a moment maybe more
Than the day before
To live it and to love it
To make art of it
Take to heart as part of it
When the light comes true

When the moment more is right
I know what to do
For a moment more or two
When the light is bright
Enough to see it maybe

From what I have seen
Of it in the in between
The light is about
Insight from the inside out

In a quiet place
Quite apart from time and space
In the light of spring
Inside me and everything

After all the fear
Not up in the sky but here
What is out of sight
But in sight inside insight
Seen and yet unseen

Where the light knows what I mean
In a place of grace
But of coming face to face
With reality

In the dark where I have been
I see it I feel
It I believe it is real

In an open mind
And a hopeful heart I find
What I should have known
When I thought I was alone
In the dark again
It was looking for me then

The light is within
Though without it took so long
Looking for the light
Looking for me all along



Steven Curtis Lance







Feb 27, 2018, 2:56 am


The Meaning in the In Between



Writing this poetry
Is righting what is wrong with me
As how I get along
With dying trying to transcend
Trying to find the light
To write it right though being wrong
Along about the end
Of what has been quite a long night

A night that might go on
To be forgotten but not gone
If I write it right and
You read it now and understand
As how I go on too

Maybe why I do what I do
May be dementia
To be but in absentia
Just my madness maybe
Paranoid schizophrenia
Obsession maybe when
I do this again and again

Or else this may be just
My way of doing what I must
Trying to make sense of
Dying trying to live for love

Here where my lost mind went
Absentmindedly but present
When my reality
Begins to be in doubt about
It here where I find out
If I am of a mind to be
Though quite out of my mind

But if I write it right I find
Now this is how I see
That maybe this is what I meant
By being different
Between the lines the answer to
The question what to do
The meaning in the in between
Where you know what I mean



Steven Curtis Lance







Feb 13, 2018, 10:09 pm


The Eventful Eventuality



Indictingly uninviting
Some long for new wars along two fronts
Incitingly so exciting
For some though others do the fighting
Two more too many wars at once
What goes up comes down not surprising
Some ride the brink of after all
Others think pride goes before a fall

They find themselves strongmen
I find them wrong men
Would there were more women
Never mind Putin
Nor his Manchurian
Candidate strongman
Now as he has his way
With the USA

Events have a way of rising
Up to disrupt things surprisingly
To be overcomes not to be
In the event eventually
Something to learn the hard way for
The rich who itch for another war
Before the poor rise up to see
Through schemes to keep dreams from coming true

If maybe some Macrons
No more You-Know-Whos
Far fewer Erdogans
No Netanyahus
But whatever the name
Whoever to blame
We could do better than
This (I think we can)

After all of the tricks of some
Others trickled-down upon will come
To overcome surprisingly
To dream otherwise and see it through
When rising up seems what to do
And how to be if disruptively
From not to be to free in the
Eventful eventuality



Steven Curtis Lance







Feb 9, 2018, 8:39 pm


Forget About It



I find my mind is not quite right
For cutting my beard for fear I might
Do it wrong or else cut myself
So I leave the razor on the shelf
My mind not right though not quite wrong
To know to let it go and go write

I heard the voices in my head
Forget about it is what they said
Existentially sensibly
Reminding me of my family
Go and write a poem instead
Let go so I go to get along
With myself and we leave it there
Let it grow long and be like my hair
To write about it if I can

I find my mind not quite right enough
For less than existential stuff
Essentially this late in the span
Of an existential old man
Persisting despite the dark for light
Not right but not quite wrong tonight



Steven Curtis Lance







Feb 8, 2018, 1:46 am


So You Remember Me



I want to write clearly
Speak the truth as nearly
As my eyes can see it
Rise to it to be it
And being it to do
It seeing it come true

I have been mistaken
My faith has been shaken
My breath has been taken
By what a fool I was
But here I am because
I want to see this through

To get to be my best
Yet not regret the rest
Though haunted by the dark
I want to be a spark
I volunteer to be
So you remember me



Steven Curtis Lance







Feb 7, 2018, 12:49 pm


Between Us



Having fallen through a crack in
Society not let back in
I found my own reality
Down through it all where I have been
Existing existentially
Within the bipolarity
Between to be and not to be

Where if to be the question why
Is answered by why not here I
Wonder but I understand it
All means something somehow and it
Looks like this is it anyway
So here I am though in my way
Doing my best at being me

Having been around for awhile
Getting a bit better at it
And yet not forgetting that it
Got better by going with what
I know though I went knowing that
Having found my own sense of style
Some may get it and some may not

Not for everyone maybe but
Some who get it may not forget
This is what I get out of it
That is not less than everything
The rising of a falling star
Being my offering I bring
To wonder about with a friend

And understand how I transcend
Now at the end by what I do
If not for everyone for who
May read between the lines this far
Know what I mean and who you are
Between us know who I am too
Not for everyone but for you



Steven Curtis Lance







Jan 25, 2018, 5:29 am


Seeing What You Mean to Me



When we mean well then we can tell
And meaning well we do well
Between us when we mean to be
Meaning us well-meaningly
When you and I agree to see
Us in mutuality
To our mutual benefit
Doing well and meaning it

Though I may not have always been
Well-meaning when I was then
By living then to now I learned
Everyone is one whether
Or not we know the way we go
Even so is together
When I mean well and so do you
Everyone is one not two

I understand it now somehow
This is how the pieces fit
I wondered then but now I know
What is given is returned
I lived and loved and learned so now
Well is what I mean and how
I do being mutually
Seeing what you mean to me



Steven Curtis Lance







Jan 18, 2018, 8:44 pm


The Milk Lottery



With a tear in his beer when he had any
That by then had been one too many
Boo-hoo but who was that guy who would always
Cry in the breadline on Saturdays
But Boo-hoofallo Bill as I called him where
I recall all of us standing there

Waiting for donated groceries just past
Their prime just in time to break the fast
Trying not to look too ghastly where we stood
Out in a very good neighborhood
That refused us then but used to be our own

Each of us altogether alone
Stood shaken together the misunderstood
Meekly for our weekly day-old bread
We were mad and sad but not bad after all
Each of us having had a bad fall
Shuffling forward inch by inch expectantly

Next to me Bill was crying instead
Of trying to win in the milk lottery
I won three times since I understood
An absurd sense of humor is essential
When everything is existential

So I told him this and he listened to me
Eyes glistening existentially
Wish it were beer though instead of milk he said
But when he won unexpectedly
Boo-hoofallo Bill took his milk and went on
Drying his eyes he smiled and was gone



Steven Curtis Lance







Jan 16, 2018, 7:38 pm


The Sharp End of Reality



At the edge of reality where
It happens on the ledge out there
To be albeit improbably
I see the possibility
To look or leap but to look before
If so to know what to look for
When after all I fall like a star

But all the way is not too far
For rising from surprisingly when
What goes down comes around again
Forever is for now when I see
I am the possibility

As ever now or never is how
Between the heartbeat and the breath
Of what it means between life and death
What comes to be becomes somehow
Happening as I happen to be
As it is happening to me
Out on the ledge at the edge of now

The sharp end of reality
But I am the possibility



Steven Curtis Lance







Jan 9, 2018, 11:47 pm


Sunday



Sunday is the one day
They taught me to rest
My Sunday is fun day
The day I like best

I used to go to church
With those who besmirch
Others who chose not to
I thought I ought to
But when I forgot to
Then they besmirched me

I used to get depressed
On Sunday before
I knew what it was for
But not anymore

Now I know what to do
How someday comes true
For the rest of my stay
This side of heaven
This best day of seven
I rest my own way

Not as I was taught to
But blessed anyway
Glad though I am mad to
Be if I had to

Glad to be on Sunday
I hope you are too
Sunday is fun day and
How I understand
It sabbatically
Now is to be free



Steven Curtis Lance







Jan 5, 2018, 8:23 pm


Dogliness



I would like for my perspective
To be more prospective
To see less retrospectively
Than I have seen before
I got behind then but instead
Would like to look ahead

I used to believe in dogmas
But now in dogs I trust
I thought it odd then how god was
But now I know I must
Have taken god mistakenly
But what I lost I found
In sibling hounds rolling around
Together in the dust

Two dusty dogs taught me to see
Past dogmas of the past
How to be here and now at last
Within their dogliness
The presence of their godliness
Doggedly godly for
The moment to be presently

The present is for me
Though I have been to be some more
Better now than never
Dogly undogmatically
How to be the one thing
I do better now than ever
In spite of everything



Steven Curtis Lance







Dec 31, 2017, 1:28 pm


Trying for the Sky



Do I obsess?
Yes I guess I do
But nothing less
Than my best for you
Makes the madness
Maybe not so bad

Takes the sadness
Out of what I had
Been wondering
Taking out the sting
Of my being
By making it sing

Doing this thing
I do gets me through
The sadness when
Through the madness then
Lets me come true
Glad to be again

Now to say yes
To how it turned out
Lest I forget
Somehow this is it
Say how about
I stay for the rest

Doing my best
For the rest of me
The best of me
Becoming just so
Just so you know
Me becomingly

Out of my mind
I leave this behind
Seen and unseen
In the in between
For you to find
Who know what I mean

Yes I obsess
For the rest to try
My best or die
Trying for the sky
But nothing less
Than for love is why



Steven Curtis Lance







Dec 25, 2017, 3:23 am


63



To be 63 somehow
In spite of everything
Is a wonder but for now
I understand the thing
That matters is the being

I had to go mad to
See the reason but I do
Soon to be 63
Glad to see me being still

Late in my season of
Looking back I see how love
Says be now so I will

Being what it took to find
What I had lost before
Seeing what it cost to see
My way out of my mind
I was not but love was then

Love was what it was when
I got through what I had to
That brought me here today

Seeing it was love that knew
What I was going through
Here I am to be again
Not always having been

But having been around for
Many rounds anyway
What I found along the way
Though wrong way round was me
Bound to go around once more

So here I am to be
63 now any day



Steven Curtis Lance







Dec 15, 2017, 9:04 pm


Christmas 2017



I



The rich are getting richer for Christmas this year
Getting what they want forgetting the season
We the poor getting poorer are haunted by fear
Not merry not very but with good reason

I would like it to get better at the end of
A year to forget regretting what has been
But do not regret not forgetting how to love
Now in December remembering again

At the beginning of the future and very
Much looking forward to not looking back when
I can look into the book of January
Not merry now open to be hopeful then

If I meet you and greet you but I might not say
The right thing the thing is I love you anyway



II



You might remember when I said
The news is so stupid it hurts my head
In a poem you might have read
As crazy outside of my head as in
I said it was but then again
Crazier now than it has ever been

It literally makes me sick
Sicker with every political trick
When tricks are all we ever get
Shenanigans are all we ever see
Quickening the flickering TV

But this is how it is when this is it
Having nothing but nothing then
Left to lose having nothing to regret
Nothing to do with this madness
But feel this fear and deal with this sadness
Hoping someday I might forget

When the New Year comes if it ever does
For what will be and not what was
Let it be better than the old because
What will be what was is not free
And it got too crazy even for me



III



An archeological layer of dust
On those boxes I have not opened yet
Illogically what logic says I must
Remember but I would rather forget
Over there under the dust where what mattered
Was gathered when reality shattered
And the shards were scattered between then and now

Friends who remembered sent these pieces of
My life left behind to remind me of love
Paradoxes packed up in boxes when
Something told someone not to throw them away
Despite my curiosity they may
Be harder to open than I thought somehow

I might surprise myself but not today
Until then let me be illogical me
In the role of a lifetime having been
I forgot a lot but I remember how
Hollywood endings are supposed to be
Transcending at the end illogically
But ending up transcending anyway



IV



Maybe the light at the end
Of the tunnel is not
That oncoming train I thought

Maybe I may transcend
After all at the end of
It always being love

Maybe I may be alright
Surviving through the night
Seeing this arriving light

Maybe surviving too
Survivors know what to do
Maybe we both came true

Maybe I survived to see
The light arrive for me
To be instead of not to

Maybe this may be how
It all turns out right somehow
The light returning now

Maybe God whatever he
Or she or it may be
What I thought forgot did not

Maybe I forgot what
Transcending at the end we
Remember now maybe



Steven Curtis Lance







Dec 15, 2017, 12:13 am


Maybe



Maybe the light at the end
Of the tunnel is not
That oncoming train I thought

Maybe I may transcend
After all at the end of
It always being love

Maybe I may be alright
Surviving through the night
Seeing this arriving light

Maybe surviving too
Survivors know what to do
Maybe we both came true

Maybe I survived to see
The light arrive for me
To be instead of not to

Maybe this may be how
It all turns out right somehow
The light returning now

Maybe God whatever he
Or she or it may be
What I thought forgot did not

Maybe I forgot what
Transcending at the end we
Remember now maybe



Steven Curtis Lance










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