I am just about at the end of my rope here. I dont know how to live my life any diferent than I do now, which includes eating very little, weighing less then I thought I could, and hiding myself from the world.
I am just in despair now, I am lying a lot again to hide the fact that I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am not eating much at all, it is so easy to lie and say YES I am eating well. But I know soon the truth will speak louder then my words, and I worry what will become of me then. There is only so much people will put up with. I thik I am making no sence here, but it dosent matter to anyone, anywhere so why should it matter to me?


Dara

Dear Dara,
your post could just as well have been written by me...
I KNOW the situation...
and I KNOW how terrible it is...

It is TERRIBLE to LIE about eating.I SAY that I eat...I SAY that I am doing well...but it is all a big lie.

The fact that I am in the hospital keeps me from starving to death.The doctors are controlling IF and HOW MUCH I eat.
But if I could choose;I wouldnt eat at all.

Ana is so much stronger than mere me.
She ALWAYS wins.

Dara,I wish that I could help you more....
You are a wonderful person...and you deserve a good life,filled with happiness...WITHOUT Ana.

Love you,
Silke

Hi Dara,

I don't know what you're going through first hand... but I'm concerned nonetheless. You matter to me.

Is there anything I can do to help? I wish there was some way to give you some more rope...

How can you get a little bit more involved with the world? Would you make a list of little things that will reconnect you with the world, if you knew it will help?

You know you can get through this, right?

After the truth comes out, I figure eventually you'll be forgiven. It will be remembered but I think you'll be forgiven.

Remember the saying, "This too shall pass..." I'll keep you in my thoughts...

Take care,

Tom

Silke,
You always understand, it is so nice to have a friend like you! I am sorry that you struggle with this as well...I wish the same things for you that you wish for me, that you have a great life without ana(only I think YOU deserve it more).

Tom, thanks so much for the concern. I guess I will just take this one day at a time and see where it leads me.
Love,
Dara