Dearest Mother,
You gave me life some time ago,
Yet I never did feel alive.

You always said to me, that
I was a mistake from the start;
Maybe my father knew
Somewhere in his heart;
If he indeed had one.

Could that be why
He wanted his unborn baby to die?
To spare yet another child
From the cruelty of his rage;
And creating yet another child
Just to be his slave.

Dearest Mother,
As a small child,
I would do anything
To stop your tears.
I lived all my nightmares;
And faced my darkest fears
Trying to protect you,
To make your life happy.


As a child of maybe four
I lied to the officials,
As you prompted me to
And kept our dangerous family secrets.
My small heart aching to tell,
And free myself from that hell.

But mother,
All I could think of was you.
Crying and hurting,
It would have been because
Of something you told me not to do.
And I didn't want to make you cry.

Now as an adult,
I see our roles were reversed.
You, dear mother,
Should have dried MY tears,
And sheltered me from MY fears.
You had the power to give me life,
And often I wonder why?
Why did you not let me die?
Instead you delivered meRight into the hands of evil.

And I was broken apart
Into a thousand pieces of myself.
And now that you have deserted me, mother
I want you to know,
That I am still your child!
Struggling all alone
Hopelessly trying against the odds;
To piece myself together,
Now that I am grown.


Mother

Mother
Who are you again?
Oh, right
You gave me life

Mother
What am I to you?
Your child
Or just your spawn

Mother
I look at you
And hate myself
I know the truth

Mother
Why am I here?
Can you help me?
I am so scared

Mother
It is so sad
I miss the love
You took it away.


--Dara Keenan

Dara!
These were so sad but beautifully written and came straight from your heart! You were a caring peron from the start trying to be the adult take on the responsibilities and protect your mom from feeling pain but sweety who was there to protect your heart from aching protect you from fallen tears that should have never fallen! You mother di a great injustice to you by asking you to lie at a such a young age! You were her child abd she sadly her role of mother was not how it should have been but look in the mirror now my dear and see that you came so far not because of her maybe but because you decide to try to rise above the turmoil! I can relate well to this poems for your mom and me and my mother have a poor relationship and there are times as you have said I wish and wonder why she even had me we both meed to look in the mirror and see what we have accomplished and then there shallbe no questions of why we were spared! I do wish you could begin a relationship with your mom and I in no way mean to disrespect her! for I don't know her and have no right to judge but I do know you and reading your poems is like reading a story of pain and anguish and I feel saddened by this! but we only ever have one biological mother! I wissh I could say reaching out is easy because  I know from experience it is not but often menat with reject and hurt but I continue to reach out to my mom in someday she will see me and who I have become and maybe your mom will too! Bless you and thanks for sharing!
                                                                   Lots of love,
                                                                   Chrissy

Hack again?!

this is very sad, very well written, i can see a song here.
i can see that this was written long time ago, wonder what ever happenned to this person.

Some people have such unspeakable problems, why is it that others have so little?