Myself Again

25 May to 15 December 2010
in a place they called St. James Wood

(Super flumina Babylonis illic sedimus et flevimus cum recordaremur Sion)

I was held down once by the greedy
Shoveling shit but paying for it
Paid precisely nothing by the day
When they were making war on the poor
Saying they were helping the needy
Helping themselves to myself more like
Throwing away my bed and my bike
Keeping my friends far away from me
In an isolation of sadness
Doing their best to silence my voice
Or make it sound like theirs anyway
Controlling my life and legacy
Where my only escape was madness
Being their worst by doing their best
To prove that I was demon possessed

(Quia illic interrogaverunt nos qui captivos duxerunt nos verba cantionum)

There between their belief and my grief
For what I lost and they took that cost
Me all I had so they could have more
Between bad and worse I saw my choice
With all I had worked for working for
Conservatives who only conserve
Mistakenly what they have taken
From those shaken down who awaken
Now to serve them right as they deserve
And if a slave I was not a whore
But I remember how I forgot
Mowing their lawn that went on and on
When it was then a hundred and ten
Between their snakes and their shit again
Who was demonic and who was not

(Et qui abduxerunt nos hymnum cantate nobis de canticis Sion)

I understood they misunderstood
Could not begin to let reason in
Just too religious for their own good
Needing to be perfect as they do
I could believe they could have believed
Being deceivers could have deceived
Themselves to that extent anyway
Of the dark there where it shrinks away
In fear or be light nor dark no more
There is where I saw the light at last
Up from my knees now out of their past
I saw pass away until somehow
Ready for another point of view
I saw they were hopeless but not me
Seeing myself again here and now

(Quomodo cantabimus canticum Domini in terra aliena?)

Seeing is believing and I see myself free
Being an escapee to reality

+Steven Curtis Lance



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