I don't know how much it would mean to you, listening to a stranger, but sometimes it's good to know that others go through the same things as you......
I know what it feels like to be alone and sad, and that feeling in the pit of your stomach, which encroaches onto your life in every possible way.....i know that feeling when one minute your life is filled with people you love and you care for (it doesn't really matter if they care or love, just how they make you feel ) and suddenly they leave and you are alone. I KNOW I FEEL and I know that feeling most of all, when nothing in your life makes sense and living the least sense of all!!!
But please, please believe me, that so far this year I've gone through all those feelings, and although I'm still alone, and often sad, I also know now, that everything happens for a reason, and in the end, it all happens to teach you one thing. If you start loving, knowing and accepting yourself, those feelings will diminish, and you will become a better, stronger more empathetic person, who in turn will make the lives of others better.
I guess what I'm trying to say through all my babbling here (sorry i get carried away sometimes) is that everything happens for a reason, including the decline and vanishing of loved ones. But everything happens for a reason....take heart and take care, and know that while you may feel lonely, you are not alone with your feelings.....we all feel that way more often than not....because life is a journey, a search for who you are.
ps sorry for the monologue, but your post touched me!