I'm afraid thats all we want to do Max. She has taken away the funeral from the family, despite several efforts to reconcile and compromise, because she feels she should do it. She's stopping my mother from grieving and giving her undue stress for no reason other than spite. We've tried to talk sensibly to both her and his son, and she has twisted him into her puppet. The funeral will be huge and against his wishes, he was scared of the dark and didn't want to be buried - he told his partner and my mam that fact. They're doing what they want in total disrespect of his wishes.
Just look at the last few messages, thats the second eldest brother, his partner, and me:http://tomma.gonetoosoon.co.uk/my_index.php
Its all we can do to keep my mother from breaking down completely.
The funeral will be all bells and whistles, again against his wishes, and none of the people who really loved him will be there. Its just sad and there's no need for it. The stupid thing is the whole thing about buried or cremated is a moot point because they will be trying to get a grant to bury him, but the UK doesn't give grants for anything but a cremation. So all thats left is pure spite.
We're resolved to have our own ceremony like he wanted, burning his belongings and scattering his ashes exactly as he wished. But the hate for my sister has been burning for fifteen years now, and forgiveness has come and gone over twenty times, the times passed for that now.