i always seem to find a way
to piss away a brand new day
another drink, another sparks
whichever house, whatever park

whoever's there, whoever cares
please take this pain that i can't bare
a rotten brain, a stupid stare
another hit, a double dare

whatever cheap thrill i can find
another drug, whatever kind
uppers, downers, round and rounders
destroy, destroy my mind

i always find another drink
that f**ks the way i used to think
and everyday i lose my brain
how many sparks 'til i'm insane?

I just read this one over on the critique board, and was impressed, and I was just about to ask you to move it over here. I'm so glad you did. It doesn't need any critique; it's great.

This sounds like me when I was your age (don't you hate that old guy phrase, "when I was your age"?). You really write well, and I, for one, can certainly relate.

I'd like to see more of your work on the poetry board here. This is where I hang out (there's so much to do over here, it really keeps me busy, as you have probably noticed lately... whew).

Love the poem. Hope you will be encouraged.

I think i'll start postin' here more often. People post some amazing stuff here! mind-brain poets, man. I found alot of new favorites on this site, and i'm constantly telling friends that write to post. Best place to hang out on the net, man. love love love.

Thanks for that!

Happy to hear it.

Love love love.

Original and defining. I agree, your poem needs no work. I already like its style, very assertive and fulfilling.

Your style in this piece reminds me strongly of something I wrote. We could run the two together and do a duet.

(Given several spliffs
And a few saxophone riffs
A jazzy blues perhaps
with flattened fifths)

I’m good with words you see
It’s my own speciality
Whatever sentence comes to mind
For example up down, in front, behind
I can always manage in the end to find
A nonsense piece of verse with rhyme
That flows with rhythm and with time
Damn it, I can even hear the thing chime

I can also relate to your poem in its content as well as style. EVEN at my age!!

Hey Burnout: it's me an ma lame horse again!
Damndest thing that pissing on keybords: mine explodes, and as such, I'd rather piss in the hand basin than on my arm rest!
Cool poem, I hope there's no more translation or lame horse problems here ?????



Love Jasper

PS: tell all your friends to get pissed here....the well administered Bar provides nips which are much purer...but never cheap or easy!

well done, very well done.

misty..