To The "Anti-Cutter" (Aka Dr.Jüngst)

You say to me that I am stupid
That cutting is a waste of time
Do you think that I don’t know this?
That I haven’t tried to stop
You act like I am nothing
Insignificant to you
You make yourself seem strong and mighty
When you say the things you do
Are you trying to point out
That you’re normal and I’m not
Don’t you get that’s how it started
That’s what caused these endless scars
If you only knew of struggles
That erupt within my heart
Every time that I get down
How it tears me all apart
How I tell myself to keep my head up
Tell myself I should be strong
Every time I grab the razor
How I have these second thoughts
So I drop it and I wonder
If I could make it on my own
If I could give up this addiction
Let it go once and for all
So I do survive the pain
In hope that one day things will change
Yet emotions overcome me
Leave me helplessly alone
So I say hello to my old friend
Rely on him once more
Things always seem to get too much
To the point where I’m not me
Like I’m possessed
With a passion
The need to be set free
And so the razor finds my hand again
It screams at me to cut
I fall helpless to the floor
And renew my worn out scars
Blood stains the carpet
It stains my dignity
Once again I’ve disgraced myself
What a disappointment
I have come to be.

Silke,
I love this poem. I dont think tyou are a disappointment at all and I KNOW what you are going thru with the urge and need to cut...

Pople see our cuts and scars, and they get scared, they have no clue what to make of it. I wish they would say nothing at all, hnestly. I would never judge you, know that!

Love ya!