misty_tears
Sep 15, 2004, 01:14 AM
Do you melt in my mouth?
I wanna melt in your hands.
Misgivings ruin the race.
Should I consult the moon?
Would you care?
Are you going to run
When you see my scars?
poetsn2ition
Sep 23, 2004, 03:34 PM
Oh, the haunting emptiness in this write is very strong in the last five lines.
At first, I felt the impression that this was going to another one of your erotic twists and turns, that ends up turning up the heat, but after the second line it becomes clear that the heat you turn up is in regards to urgently needing to know if you are as special to the one this was written for. A question of , do I belong, and if so how will I know?
Good piece, as usual. You get my mind rolling.
Safe journey
Aiyana
rosediamond
Sep 23, 2004, 04:57 PM
| QUOTE (misty_tears @ Sep 15, 01:14 AM) |
Are you going to run When you see my scars? |
Our pasts are shadows of ourselves, locked deep within us. Good or bad, they are there, dormant, waiting for the person who will take our hands and help us face them. These are real fears brought to light. Impressive work.
~Much Love~
Megan
Hey Hey
Sep 24, 2004, 10:48 AM
Just my opinion, but I don't consider this to be a poem. But hang on, don't get upset. What it says and how it says it is so, so good. Relaxed and intimate start, then considerations, then deeper considerations with seriousness. Wow - brilliant! Not a poem, just a peace of high quality literary art.
hey hey
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