I don't wish to be alone
But I can't have you here

The light of my heart has shone
Overshadowed by my fear

Your kindness, interrupted
My confidence, disrupted

I want you beside me
It's not meant to be

This is a lonely, haunting write. One that I can relate to, often, and in most cases, in the worst of ways, unimaginable, except to those who knows heartache and loss, first hand.

The enormity of the emotions here are vast, and well conveyed in such a short piece.

Personally, I believe that you pulled this off, very well.
My hat's off to you, my dear.

Safe journey
Aiyana

P.s. Also, I'd like to let it be known that any mental disease or personality and trauma induced disorders, are for most sufferers, a grieving process, that many has to face on a daily basis, and can very easily lend to feelings of loss, fear, to mention a [more accurate] few.
Hang in there, and know that you do not struggle with this and many of these things, alone.
Keep writing, if only to help you feel whole, until your next write, don't stop.

It is painful to be conflicted in such a way, and, while I cannot fully understand what you are going through, I have experienced this kind of hopelessness. I hope that you realize what a talanted poet you are, to convey your emotions so simply and potently.

~Much Love~
Megan

Dear Aiyana and Megan,
I thank you from the depths of my heart for your words of comfort and encouragement. I truly wish that I could express feelings, other than gloom, at this point in my life. It just seems that is what is prevalent at this time. I am certainly happy to share my feelings on this forum, and it does give me a sense of relief, albeit temporary. I enjoy the feedback I get from you all, as that is about all the "attagirl" things I get. I don't get the time to post as often as I would like, but I am always intrigued with both of you works as well. Please know that you both have touched a lonely heart...

miss

Please don't be lonely, miss.

MissD, don't sweat the small stuff, sweetie.
Most of my writes are gloomy-dooms-day kind of writes as well, and even when I felt the need to apologize, because upon re-reading my works I realize the morbid pen of dark remembrance taking over, I have to come to a point that, hey, if it's working, and it's reaching others on levels of awareness that was both hoped for and beyond comprehension, then there really is no need to apologize at all. Because eventually, some or more of my writes will have positive aspects, and the gloom of it all, is just a learning tool, like all of the rest.

What I am saying, hon is this: You have nothing to apologize for. One day you will be feeling good about things in your life and you will sit down and write about it, and it won't seem so foriegn to you, then the next day you may write about sad stuff, but in reality, when you go back and read all of these, the tears and the smiles they bring upon your face, will enlighten you, teach you, and inspire you, for when that day comes, you will both realize and accept that you have grown.
Then, everything will begin to be alright within you, and that's what truly counts.

Blessed Be!
Aiyana

Thank you, Aiyana. You definitely touch my heart with your soothing words of wisdom.

miss