-Bad Science Poem-

In the beginning was the Word
And it said it must be
So try not to ask nature
How this world came to be
The explanation you seek
Must come from the Word
And with faith you will see
That all is contrived
For every need to meet
Save to sate curiosity

The Piltdown Man hoax in paleontology
Mouse tail chopping By Lemark
To show inheritance in biology
Cold fusion with deuterium
Adiabatic and dark
By Fleischman with palladium
All serve to show that science
Is a human endeavor flawed
With magic things like dark energy

So which of these is really the worse
Double plus ungood science
Or this cool snappy verse

I think this fits into the genre of Philosophical Poetry.

If you want to win then you'll have to have an extremely horrible first line. Quoting John 1:1 is quite apropriate for the satire of the poem, such a well known verse that is often held as a premise in Creationist theory. Demythologizing the Bible out of Hellenistic Greek Philosophy, (such was the culture the New Testament was create,) is just blasphemy to Creationist. The harder you try the worst you get, Rick.

Damn, I can't even write good bad poetry.

In the beginning was the Word
(Yo, Word God! )
And one day from God's nether-regions,
issued forth a most ghastly sound,
and out came Man
But not just any Man-

It was 'the Man'
called Stan.
and he had a plan.

He built a LAN
and emailed Dan,
and said "Dan,
I have a plan."

"Yo the Man"
said Dan
to Stan
who built a LAN
and had a plan.

Then Dan
called Fran,
and said "Fran,
the Man
Stan
has a plan!"

But Fran
retorted
"I'm on the can,
you stupid Man"
and then snorted,
her face contorted,
as she sported
navy boots with heels distorted;
she said "Dan,
you tell Stan,
I'm gonna spank his fan-
ny when I see that stupid man.

And thus began the beautiful relationship between man
and woman.

And then God said
"Aye Caramba!
What have I started?!
and here I thought I'd just farted!"

that's the true story of creation

personally I like this story of creation better than the bible's

Do I get any credit in the bad poetry contest for help from Unknown?

For inspiring that poem, Rick, I'm giving you 15k in Bad Poetry Points. These are redemable no where, and are worthless in the Sport of Bad Poetry. And frankly, if you're inspiring people then you may want to try a regular poetry contest. You suck at sucking.

Total points for Rick so far: 15,000

Come on, people, it's still not too late to vote on this one!

"Come on, people, it's still not too late to vote on this on!"

I was going to give one point, but I took it away for bad spelling.

Hey, I fixed it, Hey Hey. If you go to a different machine with a different IP address and don't log on, I think you can vote again.

can visitors vote?

Damn, foiled again! Guests can't vote. I just tried it.

really a nice work but you have to apply

Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said,

Who is this who darkens counsel
By words without knowledge?
Now prepare yourself like a man;
I will question you, and you shall answer Me.

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements?
Surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
To what were its foundations fastened?
Or who laid its cornerstone,
When the morning stars sang together,
And all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Or who shut in the sea with doors,
When it burst forth and issued from the womb;
When I made the clouds its garment,
and thick darkness its swaddling band;
When I fixed My limit for it,
And set bars and doors;
When I said,
This far you may come, but no farther,
And here your proud waves must stop!

Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
And caused the dawn to know its place,
That it might take hold of the ends of the earth,
And the wicked shall be taken out of it?
It takes on form like clay under a seal,
And stands out like a garment.
From the wicked their light is withheld,
And the upraised arm is broken.

Have you entered the springs of the sea?
Or have you walked in search of the depths?
Have the gates of death been revealed to you?
Or have you seen the doors of the shadow of death?
Have you comprehended the breadth of the earth?
Tell Me, if you know all this.

Would you indeed annul My judgement?
Would you condemn Me that you may be justified?
Have you an arm like God?
Or can you thunder with a voice like His?
Then adorn yourself with majesty and splendor,
And array yourself with glory and beauty.
Disperse the rage of your wrath;
Look on everyone who is proud, and humble him.
Look on everyone who is proud and bring him low;
Tread down the wicked in their place.
Hide them in the dust together,
Bind their faces in hidden darkness.
Then I will also confess to you
That your own right hand can save you.

Then Job answered the Lord and said:

I know that You can do everything,
And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.
You asked, 'Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?'
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
Listen, please, and let me speak;
You said 'I will question you and you shall answer Me.'

I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees You.
Therefore I abhor myself,
And repent in dust and ashes.

Thanks for sharing Shawn.. I agree with Job

have a goodnight everyone ~

Jameson

oil and water.