Before and Life and Death

Before I existed my genealogy showed pain
The cold and hunger satisfied that pain
No respite, broken bones with pain
The grief of war and ills, that pain
Life chasing, killing, eating with that pain
The world was old but no lessons learned from pain

I've cried every day of my life
My birth, my mother, my wife, my sons, my life
You shout, you lie, you love, you die in my life
In shade, in dark, in the sunshine of my life
I stay, I go, I think in my life
I listen, I play, I write the meaning of my life

The dying yes, but I will not discern my death
I'm sure a few will suffer from my death
But many will not know or care my death
My love intended to survive my death
I try to bequeath those gestures afore my death
And if I fail shall I regret my death

©2004 Hey Hey

This is a deep one, Hey Hey; contemplative yet provocative at the same time. I think it's one of your better ones. I am pleased to see this intensity of feeling expressed openly; obviously, I am a romantic, but I think emotional honesty is always a good thing in art, as in life, for art is life.

You employ a fascinating unifying device in this poem! Pain, life, death; these are the key-words for the three stanzas, ending each of the six lines of their respective sections. This creates a very tight and cohesive structure; there is even a feeling of constraint, or--and this is more accurate--a sense of interiority to the structure due to this (mind I didn't say inFeriority, but inTeriority!); this device makes the poem feel like thought rather than speech. The device is novel and effective; I am always pleased to see successful formal experiments.

Do be encouraged.

AD ASTRA PER ASPERA

You are very generous with your comments - thank you. I take your analysis very seriously and appreciate the time you have spent to make it.

Your friend

Hey Hey