Justme88
Jul 31, 2004, 05:44 PM
Thats so sick
so twisted
so wrong
I'm your sister
how could you feel that way?
and for how long??
You make me feel sick
and dirty
and mad
But thats how you should feel
raunchy and grody
instead of wishing it was me you had
I feel so sick
i'm crying now
and soon i'll run into the bathroom
How could you say such a thing
or think such a thought
lets just pause, rewind, delete, and resume
AmbientSnowflake
Aug 01, 2004, 11:17 AM
I think you did a good job here.
And I'll ask my normal questions here.
| QUOTE (Justme88) |
| lets just pause, rewind, delete, and resume |
That is an excellent ending that shows what you want to happen. But it doesn't say what it infers. I was think that line means, "I take it all back. I regret everything. Let's start over." Other people might come up with the same idea, or variations of it. It's the fact that I had to bring the picture of a movie reel and splice it with the rest of the poem in order to understand what you were saying. That's an excellent line.
It's not a new idea. It's an old one. Those are the best, when you take an old idea, and reinvent it. Right off the bat, I knew exactly what you were talking about.