openyoureyes
Jul 29, 2004, 03:23 PM
Who are you? Do I even know you?
It seems the realm of friendship is a gray area.
To some it is community, to some it is a place to show compassion,
To some a debate table, to some it is something to control.
It is two people in in masks made of a hundred pieces of opaque glass,
and with each truth revealed, a piece of the glass is pulled away,
only to cut and mangle the place it rested.
If one could just withstand the pain long enough to have the glass finally removed,
the real person would be revealed...only an illusion.
but instead what is left is a dripping, throbbing bloody mess.
What is your purpose? Are you interested in me?
Are you interested in yourself? Proclaiming your identityat no cost too high.
Congratulations on reading the newspaper.
Congratulations on pretending to be an elitist prick.
Congratulations on your labels and premature opinions
Congratulations on covering discomfort with humor
I am so amuzed
What would it cost you to be real?
What would it cost to remove the glass?
AmbientSnowflake
Jul 29, 2004, 03:50 PM
Your second line displays a core theme to your poem.
| QUOTE (openyoureyes) |
| It seems the realm of friendship is a gray area. |
This is true, and you show me what it looks like to different perspectives. Friendship becomes ambiguous as it changes shape in the different circles of life. Very good analogy of masks.
I think you can drop the last two lines without sacrificing the meaning. And certainly the first stanza can stand on its own as a poem.
Welcome to the mind-brain message board. Feel free to introduce yourself on the board that is specifically for such a thing. There are lots of boards, so roam around and read stuff, talk to people, and be a part of a people who call it community. You have named quite a few of the ways in which mind-brain operates. We wear all sorts of masks, and assume roles of debate, compassion, etc.
There was another person just today, Ever Enthralled, who posted for the first time over here. Have fun reading, and writting, and leave feedback for others. It's almost always appreciated.
Joey