THIS Is Who I Am/Me;and my anorexia


I am not a child.
BUT...I am so afraid.

I don't need a psychotherapist....and dont need all those doctors.
I just need someone to talk to, who will listen to me.

I do acknowledge my tormented inner world and I am terrified of what people will think of me, so I draw the trap tighter around myself.

I am trapped in a bind created in my own mind.
I cant allow myself to eat...
I dont DESERVE to eat...

I recognize feelings of weakness and anxiety; I just don't know what is causing it.
I can't tell if it's coming from the outside world or my insides.

I hope there is help, but I can't imagine it.
This means experiencing exactly what I want to avoid, letting someone see my real inner life.

I have secrets deep inside that no one knows and I am afraid to let them out....

to keep such secrets is to risk happiness for safety

to disclose such secrets is to risk life for salvation

perhaps; perhaps the possibility to tell them depends on who might listen. Maybe you will never meet such a person, but maybe you will

Maybe,someday.

Thank you for your reply Dan.

you got it Silke, the truth of it all....the secrets that are inside can destroy us, and will destroy us. I cannot bring myself to speak of whatis inside. I cannot even write about it...I think that is the biggest problem. Thanks for writing so honestly!
Love,
Dara

Dara...I am so sorry that you can relate to all this....

YOU really do deserve to live a HAPPY life...without ana...and without all those "secrets"

mmm

At times, we are are all afraid of something, to a certain degree, and often for good reason. I have had my share of fears. I have found that honestly sharing them with others, truly interested, has been helpful.

Born in 1930, I lived, in a state of poverty, through the depression, through the deaths of several close members of the family, and through WW 2 and beyond. If you are seriously looking to do so, what can I do to help you sort out your fears?