Enquiry into the Self: Self-enquiry and the nature of Self
22.1. What is enquiry?
In the meditation for February 25 of his 1997 book, A Net of Jewels, Ramesh says,
"Self-enquiry is the direct path to Self-realization or enlightenment. The only way to make the mind cease its outward activities is to turn it inward. By steady and continuous investigation into the nature of the mind, the mind itself gets transformed into That to which it owes its own existence."
As with all awareness practices, it is necessary to describe this practice as though you are an individual who is practicing it. By now, this mode of description should not confuse you. Whether or not any practice happens is not up to you. There is never a doer in any awareness practice, just as there is never a doer in any other action.
Since awakening can only happen from outside of time, no practice, which is always in time, can bring it about. However, awareness practices help to quiet the thinking mind in preparation for its ultimate disappearance. Associated with this process is a diminished sense of separation and suffering, including the emotions of anxiety, fear, guilt, envy, hate, and judgment.
Enquiry, as described by Ramana Maharshi who originally taught it, is the direct approach in the sense that it directly confronts the illusory "I" and reveals our true nature. It is the only practice that does not reinforce the sense of personal doership and responsibility (as we have seen in Chapters 20 and 21, enquiry is always used adjunctively in understanding and negation). The purpose of enquiry is to reveal the nonexistence of the I-entity, and the reality of the Self or pure Awareness. Initially it is seemingly practiced by the "I", but the practice itself questions the I-entity’s existence. It shifts the identity away from the mind and its concepts, which by their very nature are limiting and contracting, towards the inner freedom of pure Awareness. It is a valuable sitting meditation technique as well as an eyes-open technique used in activity.
Enquiry is an investigation into the distinction between the self and the Self, i.e., between what changes and what does not change. It is not mysterious or mystical and can be practiced by anybody. It is a process of becoming aware of, and focusing on, Awareness itself rather than on the contents of Awareness. This produces disidentification from all thoughts, feelings, sensations, actions, and perceptions. This does not mean that they end, only that there is no longer a fictitious entity that thinks, feels, perceives, and suffers.
We first describe enquiry as an explicit technique. Later we shall broaden it so that it is less ritualistic, and simply becomes an increasing awareness of your misidentifications and of your true nature in all life situations.
22.2. Enquiry into the self: self-enquiry
The first step is to become aware of your misidentifications. This is appropriately called self-enquiry (uncapitalized) because it questions the existence of the separate self.
Whenever you are feeling victimized or are otherwise suffering, ask a question like,
Who is it that is feeling victimized?
Who is it that is worried?
Who is it that is feeling condemned (guilty, fearful, shame, hate, etc.)?
Who is it that is suffering?
Who is it that is resisting?
Who is it that is feeling powerless?
What (or who) am I?
and then look for the "I", image, feeling, or thought with which you are identifying (see Chapter 11). The more specific the question is, the more effective it will be. Don't conceptualize an answer! As soon as you begin looking, disidentification from the pattern of thoughts and emotions will begin, and you will start to feel relief. On looking, you may see nothing, in which case the suffering is clearly groundless. But you may also see an image of a fearful (or guilty, angry, helpless, etc.) victim, or you may just sense a vague, undefined object; but this image cannot be You since You are what is aware of it. You may recognize it as some kind of parent or child figure from your past, but most likely it will be highly distorted. As soon as you see what you are identifying with, the emotion will quickly subside because you are no longer identified with it.
You can even apply this practice to instances when you are feeling no particular emotion, but when your intuition tells you the ego is at work. For example, the ego may ask the question, "Who was "I" in "my" last life?" or, "What will happen to "me" when "I" die?" Both questions are loaded with the assumption that there really is an "I". You may then ask the counter-question, "Who is it that is asking this?" and then look for the image. Disidentification from the image by seeing that you are not the image will make it clear that there is not and never was an "I".
Since the sense of doership or thinkership is essential to the belief in the I-entity, a particularly useful form of self-enquiry is to ask, and then to look for the doer or thinker. Do not try to force, direct, or conceptualize an answer. That will defeat the purpose of the exercise. Just look for an image, entity, or sensation. You may find a localized sensation somewhere in the head or chest regions. However, as always, anything that you can see, no matter how subtle or close to you, cannot be you because you are what is seeing. You may also find nothing at all. In that case, it is even more obvious that there is no thinker or doer.
A more subtle sense of doership is observership. Even if you cannot find a locus of doership anywhere in the body, there can still be identification with the concept of an "I" that is looking. Whenever you have the sense that you are the observer, total disidentification has not yet occurred. There is nothing the "I" can do to get rid of itself because trying only reinforces itself, but it can disappear spontaneously. This happens when there is total absorption of the "I" in Awareness or in an object, as described in Section 22.5 at the end of this chapter.
Another approach to enquiry is to investigate the true nature of a thought or feeling and where it comes from. For example, if judging, anger, or hate thoughts arise, ask, "What is this, really?", and, "Where is this coming from?" Don't conceptualize an answer! If it is seen that such thoughts simply arise spontaneously from Nothingness and do not come from some object that you call "I", then disidentification will occur and they will no longer bother you, although they may still be present. These examples all illustrate the principle that the way to see what you are is to see what you are not.
Ramesh advocates a form of enquiry when he asks the seeker to verify whether or not free will exists by watching to see whether decisions are spontaneous or not. Nonvolitional thoughts are easily seen to come from nowhere, but there may be a strong sensation that volitional thoughts come from "me". However, enquiry into this "me" will reveal either a location in the body or its nonexistence. In the former case, since you can perceive its location, it cannot be you. In the latter case, the thought clearly comes from nowhere.
In all applications of enquiry, the purpose in asking the question is simply to focus the attention. This in itself is not enquiry, however. Enquiry consists in looking for the object questioned without conceptualizing an answer. It is the looking and either finding or not finding that is important. In both cases you have become disidentified from what you are looking for.
Self-enquiry (lower case) can be practiced simply by watching the mind. By doing so, you will see that all objects are nothing but mental objects, and that, merely by observing them, you will begin to disidentify from them. Watching the mind is the essence of Vipassana, which was discussed in Section 12.6.
Enquiry into the "I" is done simply by looking for it. It will be clear that the "I" does not exist when you are unable to find it.
22.3. Enquiry into the Self: Self-enquiry
To St. Francis of Assisi is attributed the remark, "What you are looking for is what is looking." This is also a succinct statement of the intent of Self-enquiry (capitalized), which means to look for what is looking, or to watch for what is watching.
You will never be satisfied with anything in the world because everything in it changes. The only thing that will ever really satisfy you is your true Self, which transcends all changes.
Whenever you are suffering, focus the attention on what is looking by asking a question something like,
What is aware?
What is it that never changes?
What is it that cannot be affected?
and then look. Don't conceptualize an answer! By looking, you will become disidentified from any kind of thought or image that you see. If you have the sensation that what is watching is located in the head or chest, remember again that anything that you can watch cannot be what is watching. This applies to any sense of a localized object, even to an observer. You may now have the sensation of receding away from all mental objects towards an inner You, which is prior to, or inward from, all mental objects. Stay in this state until involvement with thoughts recurs, then repeat the question and look again. This state is one of stillness, peace, and fullness in which you are disidentified from everything in manifestation.
If you still have the sense that there is an observer that is looking, ask,
What is it that is aware of this observer?
and then look. This will help you to recede even further.
With practice, you will find that you stay in this state for longer and longer periods before asking again. Eventually, you will be able to omit asking, and simply look at what is looking. You may also begin to feel the pull of the Self itself and, with more practice, the Self may pull you in and hold you with little or no effort from you. And finally, you may realize that the Self is always what you are, and is always what you have been.
Every incident of suffering is another cue to disidentify. Whatever happens or does not happen is never up to you, so the only thing that you can "do" in any situation is to disidentify from it. This will bring an immediate but profound sense of silence and peace which will be irresistible inspiration for continued disidentification.
Enquiry into the Self may be summarized by the reminder,
Go inward.
Go inward past all thoughts, feelings, sensations, and perceptions, as far as possible until you can see that none of the contents of the mind is You or Yours. If you are still suffering, you have not gone far enough. Go still further and see that there is nothing there. You will then see that You are not a concept or object because all concepts and objects will be outside of You. You are not something You can see or conceptualize. While you are inward, You will be unmoved and untouched by anything that happens in the body-mind or the world because You will be identified with the unmovable and untouchable.
Outward is emptiness, frustration, dissatisfaction, anxiety, and boredom, and nothing that you really want. Your security cannot be found in what is ever-changing. It can only be found in what is never-changing. What you are looking for is what is looking. It is the home of peace and fulfillment and everything you really want.
Do not be deceived by the apparent simplicity of this practice! It is far more powerful than the mind can ever imagine because it brings you to the real You, which is the Transcendent, and therefore it cannot be understood by the mind.
While you are inward, the activities of the body-mind and of the rest of the world may continue but they will not affect You. The more time you spend inward, the more you will realize your true nature, and the better you will feel.
In the meditation for February 19 in A Net of Jewels (1996), Ramesh says,
"When conceptualizing ceases, the outward false-seeing stops, and what remains is in-seeing, not seeing inside but seeing from within as the source of all seeing."
Every instant of disidentification helps to reinforce the apperception (the inner awareness that is beyond perception) that you are not the doer. Of course, whenever an activity requires intense concentration in order to be efficiently done, you will become identified, not as the doer, but as the activity itself, so there will be no suffering, i.e., the thinking mind will be absent and only the working mind will be present (see Section 11.6).
Initially, enquiry is most easily practiced in sitting meditation with a minimum of distractions (see Section 23.2). However, its real value is realized only when you use it to remain disidentified in all forms of activity. Ultimately, Self-enquiry is transformed from an active practice into ever-present, pure witnessing. In the meditation for December 16 of A Net of Jewels (1997), Ramesh says,
"Self-enquiry is a passive rather than an active process. Mind is allowed to subside into its source even while engaged in normal activity, which then becomes an undercurrent of witnessing that gradually extends throughout all waking hours and begins to pervade all one's activities without intruding on them or interfering with them."
Nisargadatta Maharaj was a striking example of successful enquiry. In an article in the October 1978 issue of The Mountain Path, Jean Dunn, a disciple of his, wrote that he once said,
"When I met my guru he told me, ‘You are not what you take yourself to be. Find out what you are. Watch the sense "I Am", find your real Self.’ I did as he told me. All my spare time I would spend looking at myself in silence. And what a difference it made, and how soon! It took me only three years to realize my true nature."
22.4. Enquiry into the manifestation: outward enquiry
Enquiry consists not just of the special techniques described above. It is even more a stance which questions and enquires into the reality of all aspects of life. Its usefulness is not limited to questioning the existence of the I-entity. It can be broadened to investigate the true nature of any object, whether physical or mental, and whether internal or external. For example, What is this, really?, Where is this coming from?. Don't conceptualize an answer! Investigation will immediately show that all objects are mental objects, including the body-mind organism itself. There is no such thing as an external object (see also Chapter 9). Thus, all things, including our bodies and minds, and even the entire universe, arise inside the Awareness that is our true nature. Furthermore, since all objects arise from the Background and dissolve back into the Background, they all consist of the Background. Self, Source, Background, and Awareness are all equivalent terms---they all point to the same Reality that underlies all phenomena.
Awareness is the transcendent, unchanging Reality and the immanent essence of the entire manifestation, whether "inward" or "outward". This can be "seen" by focusing on the Background of any object rather than on the object itself. True seeing can be facilitated by inquiring, "What is the unchanging nature of this object?", and then looking. A growing awareness of the Background and seeing that it and all the objects in it are nothing but Awareness is called the "direct method" by some sages (see also Chapter 16).
You can practice enquiry no matter what you are doing or what is happening because its essence is to be aware and to discriminate between what is real and what is not. It is equally effective in sitting meditation or in activity. Eventually, enquiry will cease to be a practice, and will become simply a continuing awareness of What-you-are.
22.5. Equivalent practices
All of the above disidentification practices can be subsumed into the following equivalents:
Disidentify.
Transcend.
Either of these will help you to realize your true invulnerability to anything that can happen, from guilt to hatred to injury to sickness to death. You can use them to disidentify from anything, whether "internal" or "external", whether it is a judgmental thought, a consuming emotion, or an intense pain. As you disidentify, you will see that neither the world nor the mind is your home. You will never find what you are looking for there. Your home is your true Self which is nowhere and nowhen because it transcends all locations in space and time.
The questions and examples given above are only suggestions. Your intuition will suggest other questions or applications that are effective for you.
22.6. Some loose ends gathered
Enquiry, especially in activity, plus a deepening understanding of the metaphysics of nonduality, will alleviate suffering, bring peace, and ultimately allow awakening or enlightenment to happen. We must remember, however, that awakening is a purely spontaneous event, which cannot be brought about by any efforts of the "I" or "me", since they themselves are the problem. Enquiry merely establishes the conditions whereby understanding can spontaneously deepen from the intellectual level to the intuitive level and become enlightenment.
As we have seen, every object whether we consider it to be external or internal, is a mental object. The world, the guru, the saint, the sinner, the feeling of bondage or liberation, the hallucination, the dream, all are mental objects. However, there is a difference between the guru and most other thoughts. The function of the guru or spiritual teacher is to turn the mind towards its Source, the unmanifest Background, and away from the guru itself. If a teacher does not do this, he/she is a false teacher because the mind must find its Source before awakening can occur. The teacher is dispensable after fulfilling this function. Indeed, we might say that the function of the teacher is to make him/herself dispensable.
Some people seek answers to questions like, "Why is all of this happening?" or "Why is there so much suffering in the world?" Such questions always come from the viewpoint of the individual. The best way to answer them is to adopt the viewpoint of impersonal, unmanifest Awareness, which is what you are, rather than the individual, which is what you are not. The questions then do not arise.
Ramana Maharshi termed the state of enlightenment brought about through enquiry as sahaja samadhi. He also called this the natural state, in which there is complete absorption in the Self, so there is no ego but there is still awareness of the world, which is seen to be identical with the Self. On the other hand, the ultimate state of transcendence through yoga is called nirvikalpa samadhi. In that state, there is no ego and no awareness of the world, but there is awareness of pure Peace. The difficulty with it is that, on coming out of it, the ego or thinking mind have not always been dissolved, but tend to arise again. A third form of samadhi is savikalpa samadhi, in which there is no I-entity, and the mind is totally absorbed in an object. This can occur when there is intense focus on some consuming activity, such as art, music, athletics, or science. Again, the difficulty is that the ego usually returns when the focus ends.