"You're Lying"

Well,I have heard those words many many times.
People havent belived my abuse-history(until recently when my abuser actually decided to ADMIT(In court) what he has been up to.)

I will share with you some of the things I heard after I was raped(In my marriage)

"If it had been true, you would have reported it".

"You whore. You really wanted it"

"It wasn't true because he was your partner"

"You must be lying because you went back to him".

-“Why didn’t you just scream to get help?�

“He’s a very educated man with a career, why are you trying to mess up his life?�

"You stupid slut. Haven't you heard the saying Confucious say no such thing as rape. Woman run faster with skirt up than man with trousers down".

"Doubting that it was rape is a sure sign that it wasn't, despite your feelings".

"You say he raped you several times? Oh come on. Why didn't you do anything about it?".

"You want to spare a thought for these poor girls who were really raped and stop your whining".

"You want to watch your mouth. You go around saying things like that and some poor bloke will end up in trouble".

"Oh come on. How could somebody rape and beat you and nobody know?"

"Haven't you heard of that new false memory syndrome? Is it that, do you think?"

"That's an awful story to tell. Are you after attention?"

----

Some of the even more ridiculous ones were(said by my Ex. husbands co.workers):

"You go on about this rape sh*t because you just hate men".

"You are wishful thinking".

"Radical Feminist Dyke b*tch!"






Bla bla bla...Or I didn't hear anything. Just an embarrassed silence, which implied to me that the person didn't believe me.

Or Worst of all, some person publicly dissects your story piece by piece with bullshit. Which it might be, but it still hurts.

If I had time to gather myself, I could easily repond to each of these things. I'm good at sticking up for myself, but only after I've calmed down, which can take awhile. At the time, they hurt so badly. They still can, though I tend to bounce back much faster.

I would like to think that I could be strong enough to say, "ok, you believe what you want to believe. I know the truth and I don't have to be bothered by your ignorance or deliberate cruelty".

Silke,

ANYONE whou would say such things to you or anyone else who was raped is either stupid, ignorant, or both!

I am never amazed at how heartless people can be about such sensitive things like rape and abuse. I am sorry these things were said to you.

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Dara

Its not that they are heartless.. its more like they CANT seem to understand something like that happening. People only see what they want to see and things that go on behind closed doors are totally different to what they see in their mates/family in public. Noone believed me what my ex was like until he slipped up in public then ppl we like oh maybe she wasnt lieing about it. And for the being raped by your partner, i think thats something ppl will always find hard to beleieve till they have had it happen to them.... I know what its like and know all the questions that Silke Lance wrote well and i know in my case its because of those questions that you do stay quiet. Its hard in any rape case though cause your normally the one that feels like you are on trial not the person that has commited the crime.
Injustice is one word that comes to mind..

Friend,
I'm sorry u had to go thru this. It's worse enough to go thru a bad experience & even worse when noone believes u & accuses u of lying. People understand these things only when the samething happens to them. Till then they want to be safe in their worlds away from anything to do with pain & suffering. It needs lot of courage to accept truth & I suppose they lack it. I suppose they feel safe to hide from these bitter truths than face them. Atleast if one can't be sensitive can't they atleast not be insensitive & avoid hurtful remarks? Silke, i just want to add that though there maybe a few who don't understand there r lots who do believe u & who understands.
Lonelygirl.

hey mate
i am so sorry that u go tho this i have had the same and i dont wash it on no one
i was abused by my step mum and no one in ma family notice. not even my own dad
in the end i went to primary school and told my techer and cos i had a step brother in my class and he told
her i got a big beating and i never went to school for two weeks
and cos of that i think that i will do it to my kidz so.

well i am soooooo sorry for wot happend to u

big hugs for u

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