You marvel me
your fake serenity
dripping down the corners of your mouth
like leaking blood
your smile oozing false hopes
and shattered dreams
your sticky fingers
just twitching to touch
my scar riddled hips
-i can tell-
your drugged eyes, wandering
over the cold layer of my skin
your false thoughts always
slipping thier way into me
till all i can think is your thoughts
and i laugh with your corse voice

you think i dont see you?
see you mind f***ing me?
see you drilling me?
see you killing me?

yes i see what your doing and i see
the fresh wounds on my skin from you
i also see me in a month
in a year
in a week
in a hour
laying; spine ripped out
scarred flesh revealed
lungs torn apart exposing my bloody heart
my mind
lain out and sickened dreams
spread for everyone to see

this is how i'll be
after your through mind f***ing me
after your through replacing
my cells
once me now full of you full of you

and i can stop this
but i wont
and i can stop you
but i dont
mabye because i am young and stupid
or mabye
because even though you are using me
even though i hurt
even though i am bent over backwards
licking the hands that hurt me
i am of some use
and mabye
even though i am broken and scarred and ashamed
being used by you
being of some use to you
is better
than being
of no use at all.

Interesting resolution: It is better to be of ill-use than no use at all.

sometimes the full force is all that i have to give because i dont want the reader to imagine. i want them to see what i see and feel like i feel. i want the reader to know exactly what i am talking about. some things cannot be left to the imagination