AmbientSnowflake
Jun 11, 2004, 04:35 PM
| QUOTE |
But things changed...
So did they, |
You might specify who "they" are. It helps the reader draw a direct relation between who is on what side of the conflict.
Unknown
Jun 12, 2004, 08:37 AM
I took "they" to be dad and the new wife. Blended family and giving pain to kids.
I like poetry because I can read a few lines and paint my own picture. I like to think of D, and other poets, as seed-planters in my imagination.
Yeehaw!
Jun 12, 2004, 09:13 AM
D:
I think, there are many poems, inside this poem.
Pain: show me more of it.
What does it look like in the cage? Are there steel bars, gray, black?
What does it feel like being locked up? Is your skin hot, dry, cold?
What does it smell like in that box? Decaying animals, fresh blood?
What does imprisonment taste like? Salty tears, bitter aftermath of digested rejection?
Go ahead and explode with pain.
Let the pain rip your writing open.
When your family connections were cut, was it with a parring knife, slow and in tiny pieces, or a swift brutal beating of a bayonette?
Only people you love, can evoke such anguish.
Keep going.