-J-
May 29, 2004, 11:56 AM
Off the cuff
Why is it when I try to write, the words just come out wrong
I try my best to not make them rhyme, but it still ends up like a song
No matter what the subject is, love or life’s understanding
The incessant need to make it rhyme seems all too demanding
Is it because I cannot write any other way, or is it to save myself time ?
Are poems the easiest way to learn ? What is it about them that is so divine ?
If you have to learn a difficult piece of information before you go to bed
Its easier to remember the text if you have a rhythm in your head
To the paragraphs you give a bass, to the words you give a beat,
As you turn the pages in your mind, you’ll find the tapping of your feet
In ancient times before paper was used to record the stories of old
The way we used to keep our history alive were in the great songs we told
Rhyme has been the way we taught our children, mother to daughter, father to son
The history of our past lives on and on and on
So forgive me if I cannot write any other way, this is the only way I can converse
But songs follow us all our lives, from the cradle to the hearse
Unknown
May 29, 2004, 12:18 PM
i'm not one to offer gramatical editing help but i do know what i like and i like where this poem goes...it's very quaint
AmbientSnowflake
May 29, 2004, 12:20 PM
Early American-Indians said that all of life was a song. You can start writing from any where. Sometimes, when I want to write but don't have a subject, I write about nature. It's a starting point. It's not that great of a starting point, but at least you are begining something. Write about family, love and sex, friends, and death. Those are the main subjects in most poems. And relationships are the most real things in our lives. Try writing something in the perspective of someone else, write as if you were them. It's an interesting point of view. Try to write a poem about your brother or sister, and what they think when it's your birthday. You can start from any where. The real poem will come to you on the way. Be encouraged.
-J-
May 30, 2004, 01:32 AM
| QUOTE (AmbientSnowflake @ May 29, 12:20 PM) |
| Try writing something in the perspective of someone else, write as if you were them. It's an interesting point of view. Try to write a poem about your brother or sister, and what they think when it's your birthday. You can start from any where. The real poem will come to you on the way. Be encouraged. |
Thanks for the replies, I have never had my work called ...quaint before
as for writing from anothers point of view I posted this poem a while back
EUTHANASIA
A living hell or heavenly release ?
Two options alone, for your choosing
Don’t be fooled into thinking there is a correct choice
No matter what, someone always ends up losing
“At least you’re alive and kicking !” you cry
“True, but that’s not enough reason to stay !”
Ask yourself, would you rather end it all ?
Or be in hell, for yet another day ?
In the release of all of your suffering
You can find eternal peace of mind
You would shoot a wounded animal right away
But you wont mercy kill one of your own kind
Hear my voice even though it is weak
Hear the heartfelt plea of a person in pain
Switch off those damned machines
They are the reason I am slowly going insane
The human body needs constant recharging
Not decaying, slowly but surely from inside
Fond memories now lost to dementia
I would have liked them intact, and with me when I died
Holding a life in your hands is a precious gift
You’ve thought that too, from the moment of your birth
You are God in my eyes, so act mercifully
Show me a hard life, was one of great worth
Stop the flow of gases through tubes
Stop the flow of drugs through these drips
Stop the agony flowing constantly to my brain
Stop the breath flowing over my lips
Kept alive on machines isnt living
It means existing in a very personal hell
When the human body stops being a vehicle
It turns slowly into a prison-like shell
Limbs and torso, useless to me now
No neural functions left to find
Everyone discussing ethics, seem to forget
The right of free-will in my mind
Form the point of view of a person attatched to a life support machine, it was written not for my father but, I used the experience to draw from real life as the last time I saw him "alive" he was hooked up to one.
I think the idea of writing from a siblings point of view in relation to a birthday sounds .....quaint and who says I have any ? Siblings that is.
Thanks for the critique hopefully there will be more ...................
J
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