Twisting trees. Roots and limbs.
Vines tangle mangling light.

Stretching for clouds.
Manning shadows below.
Darkness tossing, turning,
sculpting undergrowth.

Hiding, waiting... contemplating.
Whispers whirling,
echoes carried on wind.

Senses sharpening, darkening.
Heated breath steaming cool air,
stinking of fear.

Eyes, sharp glint in moonlight.
Prey is in sight.
Death drips from leaves in the night.

I just use grammar that feels right... (when I do not know which rules to follow)

The grammar is fine, no worries there.

And the poem as a whole is really cool, evocative and atmospheric in a nice and visual way. I really like the sounds of the words you use, like this line:

Vines tangle mangling light.

Four words, the first and fourth with the long "I" vowel, the second and third with that wonderful "angle" sound. Very nice prosody!

I think you could lose some of those periods. I use punctuation very sparingly. I didn't used to, and I would get tripped and trapped by it; throwing it overboard was liberating!

This is a very good poem, and I like it very much. I know my friend Kevin would like it; he uses language visually like this, so well.

Good work! Keep it up!

By the way, thank you for your kindness to me about my sonnet called "Do You Remember?" Always nice to encounter another liberal!

Solidarity forever.

AD ASTRA PER ASPERA (Motto of the State of Kansas, by the way, as you probably know there in Misery -- oops, Missouri... "To the stars through difficulty.")

AD ASTRA PER ASPERA.... I was wondering. Very pretty. And in fact it is no "oops". Misery, Missouri, what is the difference. Sometimes I don't know. I miss the ocean.

Oh, and your sonnets about your wife are very pretty. It is great to see the compassion the two of you reflect of each other in your writings.

Thanks for your advice! The more poems I write the more I seem to loose the various periods and commas loafing around my words. I should just throw them out the window instead of wondering about their placement. I have better things to wonder about.

Sometimes I think liberals are too hard to find. I think everyone should want change, per the definition of the word. Who does not want to make the world a nicer place. Why would we not want to change what we are currently doing: Imposing constrictive thoughts and philosophy on the public, hiding our conspiracy as we have done in the past, imposing on free speach, halting sceintific progression, spending more than we ever have in the past (EVER), all in the name of conservitive humanity? Hmm, something just does not feel right about that. So yes, I am a liberal. I want change!

Thanks again for your comments. They are greatly appreiciated.

wow. the words and clear vividness of this poem is incredible. this is art.
...not much to say but i am for a better word amazed by your talent.
a bow and a salute

Thank you so much!

A very vivid image of a nocturnal predator
what I like about it most of all is you are left to your
own devices to think of the predator as human or an animal

As a former cavalry/recce soldier I relate to the human aspect
but it brings out the hidden predatorial feelings long since buried.

Excellent piece

-J-

Thank you... that is what I was going for:)