tell me what you think please???!!!Life of the creature in my head.
The creature of my mind,
Dances with it's shadow,
Seeks the pain with avendgance,
Releases the creature with an intent to kill,
Battles of life,
Battles in self,
War breaks out,
Life falls apart,
Blood begins to spill,
The creature shadow's is the darkness,
Silent to the outside,
Burning on the inside,
Fire spreads to my soul,
Hope is eatten,
Love trapped in fallen ashes,
Tears wash it all away,
The red river soothes the shadow,
Soothes the mind,
Puts the creature to sleep,
Only to be awoken again.
Skin
The blood that flows fast,
The beat to which it pumps,
The lungs that hold your life,
The brains that controls it all,
wrapped in skin.
Gently rough skin,
Tattered with perfection,
Flawed with truth,
Broken with pain,
Trembles with fear.
The touch that tingles your soul,
The touch you never let go,
The chill it brings your back,
The warm sensation of your heart,
Your tightened hand on theirs.
Time
Life follows time,
time takes over life,
what time to live,
what time to die,
you wait your entire life to die,
to strive no longer with a breath,
where did it go,
only time knows,
was the breathe wasted,
only loved one shows,
i wait now,
not to die, but really live,
why learn more then what i know now,
why try harder for what i have now,
my goals extend beond my current grasp,
what time will give me,
i give back,
what i want,
time controls,
to break from time means to die,
so i suffer the wait,
but not for time to win.
Despite
Despite my rebellion i gain nothing,
Despite being a good girl i get ignored,
Despite my smiles i get hate,
Despite it all i am nothing.
~never let me down, i do that enough for myself~
I bled
I said goodbye to tommarow,
I said goodbye to the days after,
I said goodbye to you,
I said goodbye forever,
I waited 15 years,
I waited to long,
I waited for me to be better,
I waited until now.
I picked up all the pieces,
I picked up all my past,
I picked up my last good thought,
I picked up the knife.
I bled away my inside,
I bled until it was gone,
I bled away my pain,
I bled until my life was over.
wounds
I stare at my wounds,
wounds of hate
wounds of self
i wonder why they aren't open
open to bleed
open for pain
i try not to cry
cry of weakness
cry of sorrow
i lay still
still in mind
still in heart
i escape
escape my life
escape the world
i am finally free
free from me.
Who am i?
WHat causes my mind to be so fragile
is it my past
my lack of energy
Anything brings me down
Everything brings me down
I can no more take what i do to myself inside
I want to put an end to this madness inside
So it no longer haunts me
No longer taunts me
No longer pulls me down into that hidden chamber
That i lock
I put it all away
I cry
I hide
I rock gently as a comfort
I burn my tears to forget
I drift away
What did i do wronge?
How did i lose myself?
Where will i find me?
Who can save me now?
When can i be happy, again?
...Who am i?
He
I lay there naked
he burns my heart
he burns my soul
he crawls across the floor
he reaches for the door
he traps me in
I feel my heart beat strong
I took his hits for too long
I apologized for living
I always thought it was just me
I waited to long to cry
I wondered if he ever suffered...
I wonder if he ever regrets...
he took away who i was
he took away my life
he took away that child inside me
he took away my trust
he took away hopes of a normal love
I hope he dies for this
I hope he begs for his life
I want him to die for this
I want him to beg for his life
I wish i could go back
I wish i could of killed him
I would of stabbed him in the heart
he treated me like an animal
he could never look me in teh eye
he tried too hard for me to die
he beat me as if i did him wronge
he used me as if i owed it to him
he liked it when i cried
he said he'd never stop until i died.
me and my mind
My mind craves attension,
it wants even just a sigh.
My mind feeds on attension,
even if it makes love cry.
My mind screams for attension,
up until it makes me die.
My mind controls what i live for,
it wants to live for love.
My mind controls what i love for,
even if that means goodbye.
My mind controls what i cry for,
up until my mind will be free.
My mind makes descions for me.
My mind is a whole other me.
My mind is my enemy.
the taste of blood
My own blood drips from my lips
it pools at my feet
i stare at it close enough to see my reflection
is this how i will die
i wipe the blood of my lips
i still tastes it viel calmness
i lick my hand
how much blood can a human swallow before they die?
i spit it out again
How much blood?!
i lick some more
my reflections stares at me back
begging me to jump in
it says i'll be fine
just jump
just let go
just bleed away the pain
Safe..?
I bite down hard on my lip
distracting pain
when will it stop
why don't you ever stop?
LEAVE ME ALONE
get out of my mind
i don't need this
i don't derserve this
what happened was enough
day after day
you attack me worse then the first time
i want to forget
why can't i forget?
Erika.. help me!
where are you when i need you
Somebody stop me
what do i do now
do i die now?
like this
leave without goodbye
leave without myself
why come now
why waste my life
why can't i forget
i need to forget
i need to live once more
i'll run
run so deep in the woods my mind can't even find me
run so fast it will never catch up
hide so well... that maybe i won't even know wher ei will be
will i be safe then
will i be safe then
will i ever be safe from myself
will i ever be me again!
Shadow
In the shadow
of the darkness
In the corner
of my mind
Lives a being
like a creature
Lives the demon
of my life
Victim
I am a victim of my life
I am a victim of spite
I am a victim of hate
I am a victim of lust
I am a victim of lies
I am a victim of jealousy
I am a victim of love
I am a victim of envy
I am a victim of fear
I am a victim of shame
I am a victim of anger
I am a victim of selfpity
I am a victim of sorrow
I am a victim of stress
I am a victim of regret
I am a victim of hopelessness
I am a victim of desperation
I am a victim of guilt
I am a victim of rage
I am a victim of revenge
I am a victim of anxiety
I am a victim of contempt
I am a victim of confusion
I am a victim of boredom
I am a victim of greed
I am a victim of remorse
I am a victim of loneliness
I am a victim of disbelief
I am a victim of concern
I am a victim of dread
I am a victim of longing
I am a victim of neglect
I am a victim of isolation
I am a victim of frustration
I am a victim of gloom
I am a victim of helplessness
I am a victim of myself