Full Version: Vows of love
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Omg D this poem is great! Perfect in every part of it totally, cant wait to read more of your poems
Rach
Rach
| QUOTE |
| "Forever", my lips has spoken... "For all eternity", yours respond... Our souls touching, As we, forever intertwine... |
D,this is LOVELY!!!
Very nice!
~Greetings
Silke Lance
Thanks guys... As always, your comments ARE appreciated..
Huggs
D
Huggs
D
"D"
I cannot disagree with the previous comments, just know that mine are the same
J
I cannot disagree with the previous comments, just know that mine are the same
J
I just a look at the flow within these lines. You are going in the right direction here.
| QUOTE |
| Your lips starts to quiver, As you make me a vow... “I make a vow to thee, With all my soul I shall love, In you I have found, |
You use the phrase "...make a vow..." twice. You use it properly. But do you need to reutter this? Set off the the vow with one of them.
What about:
...Your lips start to quiver,
As you say to me,
I make a vow to thee...
or possibly:
Your lips start to quiver,
As you make a vow to me,
"With all my soul..."
BTW, I thought it was me you were talking to. Don't be afraid to edit.
Oh, I like this. Very sweet and romantic. Great work!
~Best~
Megan
~Best~
Megan
I'm not much romantic hehe! But good poem~ And a good vow .
Godbless,
in Christ,
Jay
.Godbless,
in Christ,
Jay
Thanks Jay...
I really appreciate your comments
I really appreciate your comments
Very well done D. It is a beautiful poem worthy of praise and authored by a talented hand.
Your poetic friend,
Kevin
Your poetic friend,
Kevin
Hello Kevo
Thank you so much for your kind comments. Please know that they are very much appreciated
D
Thank you so much for your kind comments. Please know that they are very much appreciated
D
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