Crime
By- Nichola Cordato

Am I only existing to suffer
Because thats all I live with
This Depression Is not ordinary
Its something you hear in stories and myths

Im mentally collapesed
And just to breath brings pain
Tired and worn out
Im almost positive im going insanse

This world around me
Is like the bottom depths of hell
And dieing is no problum
Its me living , upon that I dweel

In the deep depths of my soul
Im YELLING and SCREAMING
For help fully needed
Is this life, or am I dreaming

Its going all fuzzy
Is it the answers to my prayers
Am I leaving my body
All my worries, all my cares

I woke up, But im still in tragety
Im still haunted, Im still scared
For this Im not built for
For this I am not prepared

So lord send me an angel
To guide me threw this time
Becuase I am close to suicide
Not helping me would be a crime

Good job, Nikki. I don't know if you know this, but I, my sister Dara, and Silke all suffer from depression. You write of it well here; I really understand what you are saying, and I think you say it well.

I have struggled with depression all my life. It started when I was a small child. I don't really think it ever goes away for some people, certainly not for me. I have been on all sorts of medications, but, honestly, they really don't help me.

The only things which help me are writing poetry and my relationship with Silke. I write these sonnets, and they make both of us feel better. I have found making things to be the best therapy, making things and then sharing them with others. This website helps me a lot. I have felt terribly, terribly alone in my life, and that really makes depression worse.

So I think it's a very good thing that you are writing poems and posting them here, making things and sharing them with others. That should help. I know some people respond to medications, but, I swear, they haven't helped me a bit. Would you be shocked if I told you that I have been on various psych meds for all of forty years? It's true. And no help.

Ah well... So what I started doing back when I was still a kid was to write poems. Now THAT helped. Later I also learned how to compose really difficult classical choral music, a cappella choral motets. How hard the choirs have to work to sing those! Yowza! I have set many of my poems to music to be sung.

But I am at a good place in my life now, writing poems, lots of them. My son, whose name is also Steven Curtis Lance--he's eighteen now--had this really good idea two years ago: that Papa (that's me) should write a book. I asked him what the hell I should write, and we figured out the thing to do was for me to write a book of poems. So I set out to write a hundred poems; I thought that was a good number for a book.

Now, with Transcendental Sonnets and Other Observations, there are five hundred and thirty-two sonnets and a few hundred other poems. I will have to publish another book before too long! I remember promising Silke I would write her a hundred sonnets for her birthday. This was last summer, and her birthday was January 14th; I got to a hundred pretty fast, so I upped the number to a thousand. Now she says to never stop.

I won't stop, because writing these sonnets makes me feel so much better. There is NO amount of Zoloft which can do this.

So I think you did a good thing in writing this poem. It's a good poem about a real-life problem to which I can relate, because I suffer from it myself. You did a good job writing about it, too.

So I guess what I mean to say is keep up the good work. And always be careful with the little fussy details of presentation of the poem on the page. Spelling, everything like that. All very important because influential in how your message is received. The medium and the message, the means of grace and the grace itself.

Keep it up, and you will do well and help to heal yourself. That's what I'm doing; this is how I deal with my depression, and it works for me. AND, it seems to make a few others feel better too: a win/win situation!

AD ASTRA PER ASPERA means "to the stars through difficulty." Work hard and never give up, and the sky's the limit.

Go get 'em!

And I am in unbreakable solidarity with you, always.

HOLY CRAP THIS IS THE BEST POEM EVER THERE IS SOO MANY SMART WORDS LIKE DWELL AND tragety and depths and collapesed

I enjoyed your poem and can appreciate the content. +Goofball is right. Writing is a wonderful outlet in which you can purge all that ails you. Keep up the good work. What I can say to you is that if you are breathing, possess two arms, two legs, and your five senses, you are doing better than millions of people around this tiny globe. Keep up the posts. I enjoy reading them.

Your poetic friend,

Kevin

Thank you! All of you! I love that you have enjoyed my poems!!! and it really helps to know that! And yes.. Depression is known in my family to.. but writing is truley the only medication that TRULEY works!

Thank you all again!

Loves Dahlin

Nikita

Yep, writing really IS the only medication which truly works. Thank God we both found that out young, eh?

I'm +Goofball, by the way; my buddy Kevo calls me that, and I like it when he does it (but I don't let anybody else do it). Silke calls me Baby, and, baby, I LOVE that!

You're doing great, Nikita.

(Semper Fi, Kevo.)

Thank you steve, I really hope everyone likes my work at this site because I work so very hard for me and other people to enjoy it. Some people may not, my work is not perfect, but atleast it comes from my heart and makes sence to ME right!!

Haha well thank you again it really means alot

Loves Dahlin

Nikita