Crying black tears

By- Nichola Cordato

Crying black tears
that came from the darkness of my heart
It use to be beautiful
loving and caring
But since you did this to me
i have not cared
about nothing
but depression
and the walls that lock me inside that everlasting fate
brings me down
and all I can think about
is the happy outside walls
I try to avoid these mind twirling thoughts
by crying
for a reason I will not face
these tears I shed
are no ordinary tears
Im sitting here
Crying black tears

line 17 and 19 use the word 'tears.' repeatative language can be bad. high school english teachers don't like it. Hemmingway could do it.

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that's my reply <giggle nod>

Well... i dont care what other people think... to tell you the truth.. teachers or anything.. this comes from my heart and no one is going to tell me what to say or what to spell or watever.. just letting you know

Thankc any way

It's good that the poem comes from your heart (I like it, by the way), but you did put it on the poetry critique forum, so people will critique the grammatical as well as the quality. It would probabaly be a better idea to put them on the poetry forum. Just a suggestion!

~Best~
Megan

I know.. lol.. blonde moment.. i though they where suppose to look deep and feel it.. osrry.. i wont post it here anymore