A Funny Thing Happened The Other Day…


Joe: What the hell are you doing?
Mac: What?
Joe: Watch where you’re going!
Mac: Oh.
J: Well!?
M: Well what?
J: Look out!
M: Where?
J: Right There!
M: Right where?
J: Right there! Where I’m pointing!
M: Oh…
J: You don’t see it do you…
M: No… Wait, yes… Oh dear…

Both scream

J: Great! Now we’re careening over a cliff… thanks a lot!
M: Oh stop complaining, it’s REALLY REALLY high, we probably won’t hit for a while.
J: And that makes it any better!?
M: Yeah, we’ve got some time.
J: We’re going to die!
M: We’re going to die ANYWAY
J: Don’t start with me! Not now!
M: It’s not like we have anything better to do
J: Sigh…
M: Wanna hear something funny?
J: NO!
M: It’s pretty funny
J: I said NO! we’re going to die any minute now! Don’t you even care!?
M: Of course I care! I’ve just come to accept that’s there’s nothing I can do about it.
J: Well! You don’t have to seem to damn chipper about it!
M: And you’d rather I panic and cry?
J: Yes!
M: Well I’m sorry, I can’t do that. This is how I deal with situations like this.
J: I’m just really worried about how this is going to end!
M: I think we both know how this is going to end. Doesn’t mean we can’t have fun on the way down.
J: … You’re nuts Mac, y’know that?
M: Sure, wanna hear something funny?
J: … you’ve got to be kidding me
M: well, not YET. I haven’t said anything.

*Pause*

J: sigh…
M: What is it?
J: This wasn’t supposed to happen…
M: What do you mean?
J: I’ve still got so much left to do
M: Like what?
J: Oh you know… Stuff!
M: For example?
J: Well… I’ll never get to see my kids graduate from College
M: You don’t have any kids!
J: And now I never will!
M: Be honest with yourself will you? You’re 38, in a mid-level management position. You’re not exactly Mr. Personality, plus you’re not fooling anyone with that rug.
J: WHAT RUG!? I don’t know what you’re talking about
M: Indeed…
J: What about you Mr. Calm, Cool and collected!? Don’t you have any regrets?
M: Of course, everyone does
J: Not everyone’s about to die from falling off a cliff!
M: So that means they can’t have regrets? Even if we were to live through this, you’ll still regret letting Susan marry that Colombian Druglord.
J: You have to bring this up now?
M: I can’t exactly save it for later now can I?
J: *grumble*
M: You should have told her you loved her, and you know it. Maybe you wouldn’t be so fussy.
J: I never thought she’d actually leave like that…
M: Yes you did, you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself.
J: I’ve already come to terms with this, this happened in the past anyway. I’m not regretting what’s happened in the past, I’m regretting what’s to be lost in the future.
M: At least you’re forward thinking?
J: Fat lot of good it’s done me now… Damnit! its not supposed to end like this! I’ve still got my whole life ahead of me!
M: How do you know it wasn’t supposed to end like this?
J: Supposed to? What… Like fate?
M: Something like that, yes.
J: I don’t care about that right now. All I know is that my life is being cut tragically short.
M: Is it really? You smoke and drink lots of coffee and eat horribly and don’t exercise.
J: Then why aren’t I dying of a stroke or a heart attack or Cancer? That would at least make sense. This is so much more pointless. It’s too random and it’s not fair.
M: That’s a bit presumptuous of you isn’t it?
J: How so?
M: Well… you’re looking at it as if you’re getting shafted
J: I am! I’m only 38!
M: Maybe…
J: There’s no maybe about it. The average lifespan is about 70, maybe 55 or 60 for me due to some of my excesses you’ve already volunteered so readily.
M: That’s your problem right there
J: My excesses? We’ve already been through this-
M: No, not that. The average.
J: What’s to dispute? It’s a well-known statistic.
M: I’m not disputing the statistic. It’s what you’re getting out of the statistic that I’m disputing.
J: I’m not following.
M: Well, like you said, it’s an average. It’s human nature to hope for the best and expect average as a MINUMUM. It’s an average because there are people who die both above and below that age.
J: Well…
M: Think about this… how many close calls have you had in your life?
J: Close calls? I haven’t had any near-death experiences or anything.
M: Hmmm… I don’t like that word. Too much baggage associated with it… how about when you were young and climbed trees. You could have very easily have fallen.
J: I did fall once, I broke my arm
M: You COULD have broken your spine or your skull.
J: I think you’re stretching it…
M: Maybe… but it’s something to consider. How about the close call we just had?
J: Are you serious? This is IT! It doesn’t GET any closer than this.
M: I meant when we almost hit the pile of rubble in the middle of the road.
J: what about it?
M: Maybe we were supposed to die in the rubble
J: Oh really? Then why didn’t we?
M: I don’t know, why don’t you think about it
J: I don’t really have time to think about it
M: Alright. Well since you don’t have time to waste thinking about that, what do you want to think about?
J: …I’ll have to think about it…

Both laugh

M: Very clever!
J: Thank you
M: See? It isn’t so hard to enjoy life if you take a moment and try.
J: Well that doesn’t mean I’m happy with our situation. That’ll probably be the last laugh I ever have.
M: Maybe
J: The loss of future laughter isn’t very funny at all…
M: But that doesn’t make the laughter you had before this irrelevant, as long as you remember it…
J: hmmm… well this is definitely not how I expected this to end.
M: Me neither
J: How did you expect it to end?
M: I didn’t worry about it
J: Neither did I, till it came up anyway
M: You worried about plenty of other stuff though.
J: True. No one ever said life was easy though.
M: No one ever said it had to be hard either.
J: Heh, never thought of it that way. Oh God… We’re really going to die aren’t we?
M: Probably, but we’ve still got… maybe a couple more minutes left before we hit something.
J: A few minutes in which to do what?
M: it’s never too late to change Joe. You want to die a bitter old man?
J: I’m not that old…
M: But you are that bitter
J: Touché…
M: I’m sorry, that was a little harsh
J: No no… you’re right. I don’t know why, but it’s easier to really hear what you’re saying when I don’t have a thousand things on my mind.
M: Not concerned about crashing into the earth?
J: Oh of course. But I don’t have to worry about quotas, or reports or inept employees or matching my socks or shaving or-
M: That’s the spirit
J: yeah… I don’t know why you’re so eager to die though. You’ve got a good thing going.
M: I’m not much better off than you are
J: no, but you handle it better
M: interesting… I guess I’ve always just felt lucky to be alive
J: Yeah… I guess you’re right. I can’t complain too much. I just wish I’d taken more time to enjoy life in the present. I always put enjoying life on the backburner to be done when I retire or something typical like that
M: Its never too late Joe
J: Heh, I guess you’re right
M: Hey Joe
J: Yeah Mac?
M: Just thought I’d tell you we’re really getting close…
J: Heh, thanks Mac, I’d almost forgot… Hey Mac
M: Yeah Joe?
J: You’re right, I am wearing a rug.

Both laughs

M: hey Joe, wanna hear something funny?
J: Sure Mac, I’d love to
M: listen to this

Turns up radio


“I’m freeeee!
Free fallin!”

*Both look at each other and laughed harder then they’ve ever laughed before. Before they realized it, they were out of breath…*

A very fresh write... especially to this board! Thank you for sharing.

Do you mind me saying that its a bit of an odd concept, well there, I've said it now... I really enjoyed reading it... however un-realistic it is. I really began to picture these two characters.

Firstly I laughed, then the very last line, I just kind of stared at the screen a bit thinking, woah...

I like this, it's kind of cheered me up... fresh writes... yay!

Anyway... this rocks, well done, keep penning.

thank you for replying, harder to get people to reply than i originally thought.

i realize they must've been falling from the moon to have that entire conversation in time but pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

It's harder for people to reply now because of these darn expanding topics, you don't see whats been most recently posted; so things don't catch your eye, also you cant use last click feature unless you have full membership; and I think that was how alot of people read things from this board. By seeing others reading it. This part of the board is never very active anyway.

*sigh*

But never-the-less please grace us with your presence in here; I shall always be sure to comment, positive or negative... I like reading other's work.

Take care, always x