I'm not looking toward tomorrow
If there's no way I can have you
Life's just not worth living
If there's nothing I can do

I'd rather burn in hell
Then live without you everyday
Lord, not let me live if I can't have him back
Is the simple prayer I pray

Seeing you with her
Brings me so much strife
I'm contemplating what I'll do
With this big 'ol knife

A gun? some wire? maybe some pills?
Will take all this pain away
I still love you and always will
Cursed is my every waking day

Sleeping is all I know
For I wish that I'll not wake
Not having you here with me
I know my life's at stake


PLEASE COMMENT! THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND POEM I'VE WRITTEN! THANKS!
-Heather

you're trying too hard to force rhymes. For example, "strife" doesn't work well in the context you've placed it in and it seems the only reason you put it there is because it rhymes with "knife". My advice is to let the poetry flow and don't worry too much about forcing your verse to conform to structure and rhyme.

um...thanks...I think
-Heather

I'm sure many will relate to this poem on some level, which draws attention. For a second poem, you're on the right track. I'm just mildly disturbed by some of the implications of this verse. So I leave you with a "keep it up" and a hug!
~Best Wishes~
Megan

Bravo! Very intense and visual! It speaks much to many I am sure!


Hugs and much Luck,
Chrissy

Thanks megan and chrissy youre comments really mean a lot to me.
-Heather