I sit in silence becasue if i do, you won't know,

I sit in silence becasue if i do, you won't care,

But you don't care anyway, right?

I walk along the halls, with my shoulder pressed against it,

Looking down at the floor, the tears begin to fall,

Stop! I say to myself, stop or they will see,

I bite them back and try to grin, i'm ugly but oh well,

Walking home i realize, the way to end the pain,

Take the pills, cut my wrist, i hold myself to blame,

Pull the trigger, shut the door, Fall upon my bed,

Realize you wouldn't care, even if i die,

Mom comes home, says her prayers, and kisses me good night,

Says see you in the morning hon, please wont you sleep tight,

Fall against the bed and sigh, another day is done,

No one saw the tiny scars, hiding on my arms,

And no one knew i had to feel, the pain their words inflict,

Tomorrow's come i hear the words, the taunts that spill around me,

Get home and know i have to do it, do it now i scream!

Cut my wrist, pop the pills, and say soflty good night,

Mom comes home, and finds me there, lying on my bed,

Surely no! She can't be dead! she screams with hard core tears,

The note beside my head she finds, says something bout my fears,
'Dig my grave, Dig it deep, lay me neath the stone and greif, no more people, no more lies, no more making promise die, dig my grave, dig it deep, tell my 'frends' not to weep, i did it now, i did it fast, no regret, cuz' pain don't last.'

I sat in silence becasue when i did, you didn't no,

I sat in silence becasue when i did, you didn't care,

I sat in silence,

I sat in silence.

10% of this was good

thank you, which 10% of that would be good?

Firstly, just quick reading, please spell "because" correctly... that instantly degrades the poem in my view... but I'm just pety... but you do use it alot so correct spelling would be nice :)

Again you have the idea... yet I'm not identifying... I don't see the motifs... especially with the "you don't care" and then the Mother being well, nice...

Needs more clarity... but I'll end there... if you wish to explain your idea behind this, maybe I could point you in the direction I would take with it?

Sorry if you feel I am being harsh... (I've had a bad day and this is posted in the critique section) ... I am by no means a "poet" myself... I would very much like to be... yet I very much fail... but I feel it is good to learn from others, their styles, views on things, it can't hurt...

Anyway, take care x

no no no i dont think ur being harsh, i posted it on here becasue i wanted you guys to tell me wat sucked and what didnt, and ya i dont spell very well lol. wats motifs? lol i dont even know wat that means but i mean bcuz the gurl well me, THINKS that her mother doesnt care, but then she finds out she kinda does, i dont know if you got that, but i dont know its how i felt and I understood wat i was saying, but that dont mean eveyrone else was lol. clarity? clarity for wat? lol