Racial Issues

The Broken ruins we call home
the pathway cracked and faded
all the times our love's been shown
but evermore times ive been hated

this is me just an idiot
im stuck inside my prison cell
hate rises from the patriots
to send the outsiders to hell

You keep making an Issue of my racial tissue
this is persecution and hate
been destroyed once before I cant take any more
all i want are the shadows and darkness to fade

threatened here in my place
an alien cant speak my tounge
a member of an unknown race
and i might be the only one

You keep making an Issue of my racial tissue
this is persecution and hate
been destroyed once before I cant take any more
all i want are the shadows and darkness to fade

This is a song ive written. id appreciate some comments if thats ok.... you can see some of my other poems at musictalk.com

Hi Meklo,

I think you get some of the essential points on racialism across well in this work.

I would a change [doesn't everybody] that rhymes slightly better and causes little loss.

'and i might be the only one'

becomes

and treated so all along.

All the best Bill.

I like what you're saying here. You could work on the flow a little bit more, though. Great stuff.