MEL86
Nov 19, 2003, 02:44 PM
being a teenager is full of problems
problems you can never seem to solve
you think you have but you haven't
it just appears without due warning like
a really bad cold
being a teenager is full of problems
problems you can never seem to solve
you think you have but you haven't
it just happens without due warning like
a shower turning from hot to ice cold
being a teenager is full of problems
problems you can never seem to solve
you think you have but you haven't
it just appears without due warning like
a huge spot appearing right on the end of
your nose
poetsn2ition
Sep 30, 2004, 08:50 PM
I feel that there is more to this, somehow.
And though the flow was nice and pleasant, it would be nice to have some changes, if only minor, to each of the first three lines of the last two verses, rather the repeated only to change course on the ending lines.
This way it will help to keep ones attentions to both the write, itself, and to your writing potential.
A wonderful display of poetry in the making, here.
Blessed Be!
Aiyana
that girl
Sep 30, 2004, 08:52 PM
I was quite amused by your poem (sorry if I'm not supposed be). It was right to the point and edgy.