BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
A body falls.
The sirens scream.
An old and soiled bodybag
Takes away another victim,
Another bloody sacrifice to the madness.
I wash away the blood from the sidewalk
As the red and blue lights
Flicker in the distance.
But there are no tears.
I am all cried out.
I cannot feel.
I will not feel.
I have seen too much death.
Too many friends,
And the children of friends
Murdered by violence of colors.
But what about me?
What have I become?
A monster?
Inhuman?
What am I now
If I can no longer cry
At the death of a child?


James M. Guzman

This poem came across as flat. It lacked emotion.

wtf do you mean do you even know what it is like to be on the brink of death? have you ever been so close to death to fear it yet pray for it all at the same time......... :'( if you can't say something postive don't say anything..... >:(
that was just ignorant! >:( :'(

yeah well so much for my honest opinion. I'm so glad your mature to deal with criticism! I can tell who the grown-ups are around here. Look, its nothing personal but if your going to write a poem about anyones death it should probly be emotionally charged. This poem wasn't.

who are you to decide what is emotional though I mean really what is emotional for one person may not be for another I realize you were trying to give your opinion it just seemed insensitive......sorry... :'(

Hi all,

Glad to see that folk are allowed to express their own opinions, react and agree to disagree [I'm trying to do this too!]
The usual problem is not knowing the intent of the writer in the first place [is it selfish criticism or real experience that is being conveyed?] We will forever suffer this difficulty until we cvan talk to each other via computers - till then we can only hope to build up a picture of each others intentions.

To the poem.
I agree that 'it lacks emotion'. [I am not a very emotional person, so it takes strong words for me to sense intense feeling.
But, I think that is the success of the poem. The middle two lines say
'I cannot feel.
I will not feel.'

Hence it is not possible for the 'talker' to be too emotional in the writing of the poem!

All the best Bill.

It lacks emotion, yet I think it works, its so true. Sometimes it hurts to cry, so you refuse to feel because mentally, subconciously you know it is too much. I like it though, self-reflection. I like the idea of seeing so much death. James I envy you and your writing.