Steven-this is the only other one i wrote in a while-i posted 2 others that are about halfway down the page-the one that says "so i haven't written anything ina while" is about my brother-the only one i wrote about him...


"There Is Nothing"

There is no here,
there is no tomorrow,
and there is no today.

There is no happiness,
there is no glee,
and there is no healing.

There is nothing,
not even I.
There is nothing,
Nothing but lies...

© 2003 Christine Miller

Hey Crissy...

Yeah, this is a good one too. I like it very much. You're good with titles, by the way; this and the other one are especially well-titled; this is an important aspect of poetry. Alternatively, you could simply call this one "Nothing," leaving off the first two words; I find that, with titles, less is often more (and when you think of it, there are very few words more powerful than that word: nothing).

Could I make one small suggestion?

In the third stanza, where you say:

There is nothing,
not even I.

I really feel that it would make the poem much stronger if you said:

There is nothing,
not even me.

You will find that small change to be a sort of magic key which unlocks all sorts of small wonders...

Try it and see what you think.

Hint: With this change in place, the second line of that stanza will also rhyme with the second line of the stanza preceding, giving a very nice feeling of things dropping into place, a feeling of "groove."

I have a reputation for being something of a little bitch in my replies, so you know I really mean it when I say good things about poems hereabouts, or when I even reply at all. You're doing great, Crissy. 8)

There is nothing,
not even I.
There is nothing,
It's all been a lie...

There is no here,
there is no today,
and there is no tomorrow.

There is no feeling,
there is no glee,
just a world full of sorrow.

There is nothing,
not even I.
There is nothing,
It's all been a lie...

;D

Yeah, that would work too. Good idea.

Anything like this is entirely up to you, Crissy. Don't ever feel like you have to take suggestions which people make. You're the creator, and it's your creation.

Solidarity.

thanks Steve. I thought you suggested ''me'' to rhyme with ''glee'' and that's a good idea but would have left the last sentence without rhyme.

is this a very personal poem to you crissy?

i ask because i was going to add a little humor to the poem but not if it's personal to you. :-

haha i don't mind the suggestions at all 8)

[quote]is this a very personal poem to you crissy?[/quote]
actually it is, for just a few lines there's a whole world behind it...


but if you want to take it and make it a part of you also, feel free to play around with the words and things, see what you come up with-i don't mind 8)

wonderful and very powerful images Crissy please keep writing you have a wonderful gift.... ;D



Have Love
Much Love,
Chrissy