Hi, it's been a little time since I learned about the Ego and set about normalising it and ultimately ridding myself of it.

I have been trying to do this by constantly checking my thoughts and through meditation. But i am finding that after about a month, my Ego is fighting back, and I catch myself getting back into old ways; laziness, apathy, depression.

It is becoming harder to be desireless and aversionless, meditation doesn't seem to be having the uplifting effects that it did, and the things I meditate on seem to lead nowhere, so i'm doing that less. I'm not doing any exercise at the moment so that could be a contributing factor. Also I have not had a decent pot smoking experience recently, so although I now have a new stash I can't be bothered with it.

I read that this would happen to me, and to keep going regardless, but it is increasingly difficult, i guess i'm looking for some support?

I find it interesting that Joe has just come back to the board as i am having problems and i know he's going to have some things to say when he reads this.

I'm wondering if at first this was easy because my Ego was fooling me into thinking I was getting somewhere, but i was actually still trapped by it.

Now it is bored with the whole concept and wants me to stop maybe? so could this be where I really begin the path of enlightenment?

somehow you need to 'unify' your intentions with a clear vision of your own design. I don't see 'you vs. ego' so much as I see Laz the indecisive. Maybe the deal isn't that your 'ego' is rejecting your 'meditation' experiment but that you are beginning to feel that you aren't going to like where you are heading with this experiment. Feelings/'intuition' shouldn't be taken lightly when it comes to 'enlightenment'; feelings are the 'inner voice' that 'leads to source', not any technique. The trick is to make sense of the journey as it happens and only go as fast as you can make satisfactory sense out of, because feelings will lead you into a mythoscape reality if you aren't careful. Joesus had the pleasure of a 'master' who provided him with a 'sense' of this journey to facilitate it, this is why he got to finish really fast. The downside of this is that he unconsciously views the world in terms of that sense thus he is full of 'yogic' biases and opinions. I, of course, am just flat out amazing; I invented all my own biases. I rule

8)

Hippie

I've just made a decision i'm not giving up on this yoga thing until I have some results, 7000 years of teaching can't be proven in the blink of an eye.

Although I seek support, all I really need is a kick in the teeth ;D

Lazarus, to be born again, first you must die

Do you understand?

I understand that that is how the story goes. Are we talking a metaphorical death?

NO! You must seek the highest building you can, climb to the roof, and jump off while flapping your arms like a chicken. Only then will you be reborn.

Really, I don't mean death of your body, but death of your personality, ego, memories, identity, at least temporarily.

I think you're getting your stories mixed up! "Everyone falls the first time"

So how? are you going to tease me or are you going to help?

[quote author=Laz link=board=6;threadid=2645;start=0#msg13618 date=1063309568]
So how? are you going to tease me or are you going to help?
[/quote]

Soon, very soon, but not wearing this mask

What does that mean ???

it's at this point that i get bored :

[quote]Although I seek support, all I really need is a kick in the teeth[/quote]

[quote]it's at this point that i get bored[/quote]

Control control control. You have your own Ideas about what it is supposed to look like and when it doesn't meet your expectations you fight or give up.
When the student is ready the Teacher will appear.

[quote]Posted by: Dan
I, of course, am just flat out amazing; I invented all my own biases. I rule[/quote]

Yes you do.. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, not since the video I saw of the poodle having sex with the stuffed dog sliding across the floor.

Assumptions Joe!

I believe I have the opposite problem, rather than expecting my experience to conform to my preconcieved ideas, I don't know what I am looking for!

I guess if you 'knew' what you were looking for, you'd be there! But you (as everybody) do 'gnow' what you are looking for, it is in the form of an 'intuition/feeling'. As long as you seek truth over self-preservation, you've got a shot at 'arriving'. And anything you do or say is allowed; that includes bitching about it and 'probing' hippies like Joesus and Sol and Mary Jane, reading stuff and whatnot. My personal fave is the 'native american warrior' approach as outlined in Carlos Casteneda's (in?)famous works ( http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...=glance&s=books ) ; they are also in line with Joe's 'death' notion I believe. Fascinating reading anyway...
8)

[quote]But you (as everybody) do 'gnow' what you are looking for, it is in the form of an 'intuition/feeling'.[/quote]

I agree with this, my truth discriminator is always turned up all the way. I don't having a problem recognizing it when it occurs, but it's getting it to occur that's the problem right now.

I will go and look up Carlos Castaneda, thanks Dan

[quote author=Laz link=board=6;threadid=2645;start=0#msg13635 date=1063312351]
Assumptions Joe!

I believe I have the opposite problem, rather than expecting my experience to conform to my preconcieved ideas, I don't know what I am looking for!

[/quote]

Oh good then you might openly embrace everything that comes to you rather than making any reference to assumptions, coercion, what has value and what doesn't etc.

As long as what comes my way is the truth unconcealed, definately.

[quote author=Laz link=board=6;threadid=2645;start=0#msg13640 date=1063315323]

I will go and look up Carlos Castaneda, thanks Dan

[/quote]

Some online texts of Castaneda can be found here: http://www.prismagems.com/castaneda/

[quote author=Laz link=board=6;threadid=2645;start=0#msg13642 date=1063315477]
As long as what comes my way is the truth unconcealed, definately.
[/quote]

Well then as long as the ego is intact and it gets in the way of absolute truth you might not yet know the difference between truth,(your truth) and the absolute truth.
I would say that if you did there would be nothing to look for, for it would be obvious and you would be living it, all questions would be answered and all desires fulfilled to be desireless and enlightened.

Are we there yet?

You're always so helpful

You're Welcome

here's a thought, you said [quote]all desires fulfilled to be desireless and enlightened[/quote]

A desire to be desireless??? is that a typo?

no typo.

Happy is the man who wants nothing - for that is what he will get!
Was he Chinese?

Happy is the man who wnats nothing because he has everything that brings satisfaction and eternal peace to the heart which no thing can bring.

Hi Joesus,

you say 'Happy is the man who wnats nothing because he has everything...... '

Do you mean 'already has everything' ?


Note that if you don't, you imply that nothing gives satisfaction!

ATB Bill.

No "thing" gives permanent satisfaction. There is nothing that is of the world that is permanent.
That which fills or fulfills the heart is beyond the manifest and cannot be lessened or taken away, only ignored.
In that sense what man has can not be taken away and man has always had. One needs only find it and tap into it to realize eternal peace and bliss.