There are times in our lives where thigs get very difficult. You souln like you are at that part right now. You are strong, as you are able to recognize that you are having some difficulties dealing right now.
It is even worse when you constantly have those memories of your abuser telling you that you wont succeed. Talk about motivation, hough! We want to be nothing like our abusers, we want to make it and show them they didnt win!
Please try to take some time for yourself, and realize that youare as important as all those people in your life who lean on you so much!
I hope I helped a bit...if not, please tell me! I don't want to make you feel worse!
Al my love, Dara